So I was at Union Station a couple days ago. Over in the U.S. it's completely plastered with ads highlighting the A Channel's new television lineup (big kudos btw). There were two ancient (read: old) caucasian (somehow feel that's important) grannies walking through and looking at the ads.
ANCIENT GRANNIE #1: What is the A Channel?
ANCIENT GRANNIE #2: I don't know.
ANCIENT GRANNIE #1: Is it a porn channel?
ANCIENT GRANNIE #2: Don't go there! Don't go there!
I swear, verbatim, that's exactly what they said. I was very close to bursting out laughing, so I ran off to the arcade and played some House of the Dead 2. But then it got me thinking (dangerous I know), how stupid do these ancient people have to be? Like, I sometimes wished that America's Next Top Model was a porno (not now though 'cause of the tranny.... or do I?), but these ads weren't even graphic at all. So how does an ancient person connect a stylistic advertisement with pornography? I geniuinely have no idea (and trust me, I know my porn). Other than perhaps... connecting broadcast media to the younger generation? And of course, all old people think young people are evil. What else is evil? PORNOGRAPHY! (to them). Therefor, broadcast media IS pornography. Old people logic at best (and wishful thinking).
Now I started taking my thinking a step further. If these two old grannies automatically assumed a conventional television broadcast station contains pornography, what else might they think? What other assumptions would they make? Lemme make a list for you. They'd be the type to:
- over-react to any crime story they hear about in the news (no bingo tonight! there's a shooting in a nearby town)
- refuse to live in perceived crime-ridden areas like Jane/Finch (oh wait, it IS crime-ridden)
- fall for financial scams (as they rightfully deserve)
Now on the surface it all seems irrelevant. If some old people want to be scared or something, or be more gullible, so be it. But we need to remind ourselves one of simple fact. Who runs this fucking world? OLD PEOPLE!
So yes, the same people who are crime-news-story-obsessed, the same people that are OCD about their real estate value, and the same people that get scammed on a regular basis, are the same people who are our mayors, premiers, prime ministers, presidents, and world leaders.
It's fascinating how the ever-lasting urban mythological logic is that the younger generation is always this 'horrible scourge that makes ebola jealous'. Every single ancient generation thinks this, and it's been occuring since the dawn of time. But let's turn this on it's head for a moment. With this logic, then every successive generation is worse than the one before. So using incorrect religious logic as our constant, the human race began approximately in 4000 BC when God crapped out Adam and Eve. There for 4000 BC + 2008 AD = 6008 human years that have gone by. The conventional logic is that a generation if 30 years (realistically much much lower since people died like rabies back in the early days). Therefor: 6008 / 30 = ~200 generations. So by old people's logic, we are 200 steps BELOW what our initial fore-parents (Adam/Eve) used to be.
Now in the religious context, this is entirely true. The latest fictional stories say that God created Adam in the likeness of himself. Thus Adam would've been God's illegitimate twin brother. Now in 2008, take a look around you. Do we look like twins? No! There are currently 200 different varieties of the homosapien walking on this planet. Thus, old people's logic holds up, we are successively getting worser as a society.
Thank god religion's a piece of crap.
So throwing the above theory aside, we'll take a different perspective. Each generation is a successive IMPROVEMENT of the last. As an example, in the mid 1950's, everybody predicted there'd be flying cars by the year 2000. Of course that never happened and thank goodness for that. Do you really trust the guy next door in a flying car? Do you really think everybody would stay in their own dedicated 3-dimensional airspace? Hell's no. If we had flying cars, we'd all be dead. Now let's examine this. In the 1950's, who was predicting that we'd have flying cars? Old people writing science fiction novels. Now, the children of that year knew how pompous an idea flying cars were. So while the old people set out to realize a future of flying cars, the young people plotted to do otherwise. The young people started to create extremely inefficient vehicles, makes more roads than existed people, and eliminate all funding for public transportation. Thus we now have the magnificent life we have today. No airborne collisions, no bodies (or wreckage) randomly hitting you from the sky, just wonderful peace and quiet within our smog congested cities. But now the younger generation sees to *IMPROVE* on this, by fighting for hydrogen fuel technologies, green land over asphalt, and scores of funding for public transportation.
You see? It's a cylical generational improvement over the last. Old people in fact should be thanking us for all the fixes we'll be making to their horrible mistakes. Too bad they're too busy fantasizing about television pornography to do so.
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