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Movie review!

2008-11-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

Haha, I can't remember the last time I actually properly posted this on a Monday. I bet next week i'll push this to Thursday! Soon the prediction+review will be on the same day!

1) Bolt. Prediction = $29.7 million. Result = $26.2 million.
2) Twilight. Prediction = $71.3 million. Result = $69.6 million.

I am a genius. This is definietly has got to be one of the most (if not THE most) accurate prediction I have ever done. Who knew I could pull such numbers out of my ass.

Bolt did very well. It ain't no Madagascar, but it doesn't really have any head-lining voice actors to pay big bucks for. Can't wait for the inevitable sequel.

Twilight did rediculoussssssssssssss. To put things into perspective, the movie cost $37 million to make. What's funny is that for a long time it was questionable whether any sequels were going to be made. I'm really looking forward to seeing how well this does on subsequent weekends. It has a strong formula to be a long-lasting hit on the box office chart (unattainable love ala Titanic), so it'll be interested to see how time treats it. Anyone else find it ironic that the box office take was 69? (Since 69 is something the main characters ain't gonna be doing)

I caught Synecdoche, New York over the weekend. Absolutely INCREDIBLE film, if it doesn't get an Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay, that'll be the upset of the year. This script... is... insane. This movie is literally like a dream, no seriously. You know how in a great dream there's a strong storyline and really emotional moments, but there's little glimpses of really random-ass things that don't make sense when you wake up, but in your dream-state it totally makes sense. Well that's this movie. There's a shitload of random ass things that really ultimately have no relevance on the surface, but are beautiful subjective matters of inspiration deep down inside. Due to the deep philosophical nature of this movie, I do NOT recommend it for the vast majority of audiences. If your'e dumb, you won't enjoy it. If you're the kind of person to ask ANY question during a movie, you will not enjoy this movie at all. I can easily imagine certain people asking questions every minute about every random thing that happens. I hate those people. So actually, I would recommend that those people go watch this. Hopefully it'll teach them to stfu during a movie. The only sad thing about this movie is what an utter bomb it was :-(. Cost $20 million to make, made $1.6 million :-( :-(. If there really is a black Jesus (Barack?) he'll dedicate more money to letting Charlie Kaufman direct more films.

Movie prediction!

2008-11-21T20:30:00.000-05:00

1) Bolt. Prediction = $29.7 million.
2) Twilight. Prediction = $71.3 million.

What's interesting this weekend is that both movies are crossing over a bit into the same target audience. Females + people who can read. By all normal rules any audience crossover is a lose-lose situation, but lucky for these flicks, this is an audience market with money t-o b-u-r-n.

Bolt will do gangbusters.
1) It's Disney
2) Stars Miley Cyrus.
Any of those on their own is enough to be a hit. Combined, it could very well form a black hole... on our wallets! haha

Twilight will do gangbusters.
1) It's based off a book that girls love
2) It has sappy romance (inherently different reason from #1)
This was the winning formula for Titanic (which was based off the bestselling book: The Ship of Ice). Twilight could very well be a contender to knock off Titanic from it's box office throne. Countless repeat viewings from the female market are a given. If the Twilight marketing team can milk it, we'll be seeing this film in the top 10 box office lists for months to come (until the inevitable sequel of course).

In other movie news, I saw an incredibly moving film last night entitled Amal. Upon initial viewing, it was an extremely good film, very solid in all aspects of it's being. But after the screening there was a Q&A with the director and that's when the film started to take on a life of it's own. The director is an incredibly fascinating, sensibly nerdy (as opposed to the fat overweight nerdy-archetype), and is a beautiful storyteller in his adventures of making his FIRST!!!!! film!!!!! As he stripped away to the underlying words of the story that he wanted to tell, the movie become a whole different being, something that can be interpreted uniquely from a wide-variety of viewpoints depending on one's background. Definietly a director I will be keeping an eye on though his last name is unfortunately identical to another famous brown director.

What's moreso interesting is the sudden rise of brown-movies by Western companies. Perhaps a sign of a future mainstream trend?

Movie review + Reel Asian Nov.16

2008-11-18T20:12:00.002-05:00

BARACK'S LIES - SIZED SPOILER WARNING!

Gah, my internet connection last night was all messed up. Turns out a simple reboot fixed everything. Perhaps I should reboot my computer more frequently than once a month :S

1) Quantum of Solace. Prediction = $62.8 million. Result = $67.5 million.

KA-CHING!! Finally a prediction where i'm not off by $50 million. Looks like it'll do fairly well, ensuring more Daniel Craig Bond's in the future. However there is a part of me hoping that this crash and burned. Word on the street is that Paul Haggis hurried to finish the script before the Writer's Strike began. Further word on the street is that the writing is extremely clunky and unnecessarily complicated. Having a film like this turn into a huge hit only needlessly encourages Hollywood to put profit before quality :-(

The 12th Annual Toronto Reel Asian Film Festival wrapped up over the weekend, and oh-my-god did it redeem itself. Hot volunteers (guys/girls/ladyboys alike) and great movies made it all end on a happy high note. Coming into this the festival was 0-2 for feature length films, but now it ends with a score of 3-2. And having seen 3 great films back-to-back only makes it better (thus a final tally of 10-2) (like every Leaf's game!) (where they lose duh).

1) First up at centre ice is Santa Mesa. I think it's a Philipino film. It's that sort of culture where they're sorta brown, maybe a tiny bit Asian, live in slums, sorta like Malaysia. Somewhere in that region, the language doesn't sound funny to the ears. The film has an extremely strong start, very reminiscent of Crash (the Paul Haggis version) (no Cronenberg-style Crash here unfortunately) which sucks you in immediately. Too bad that grip turns into a flimsy effeminate limp wrist of a homosexual male near the first quarter. The lead adult male character has either crappy acting skills, or is dealing with a crappy script, or a combination of both. Either way my high hopes from the start crashed and burned like the Twin Towers (too soon?) and I slowly leaned further down into my seat, preparing myself with a nap-friendly position. The film plods on until the last third where it picks up momentum again and doesn't let go. The final scenes makes the middle dreck more than worthwhile to withstand. Brilliant social commentary on clashing cultures, the essence of family, and the foundations of love itself.

2) Next up at bat was Tiger Spirit. A fantastic documentary not only for it's subject matter, but the personal journey the director herself goes on. She originally sets out on a journey to find whether tigers are extinct in Korea. In doing so, the more she learns about tigers the more allusions she finds to Korean culture (Tiger Balm anyone?). Her quest for tigers becomes a beautiful quest for the Korean spirit which leads to the perfect subject matter of the North and South Koreas. As Allah would have it, destiny struck down from the heavens and she becomes unswirled into peace talks and family reunification meetings between the two countries. An amazing emotional adventure for anyone who was raised on sniffing Tiger Balm and staring at the funny packaging.

3) The last act of the night was the closing gala itself, and a perfect summary for the festival: Adrift In Tokyo. A very hot theme lately in independent films has been a simplification on the traditional Hero's Quest storyline into a 'Quest of Self-Discovery'. This has been handled by white people in the form of Real Time (one of the best trailers this year / heard it's also one of the worst movies). Their yellow counterparts now play their hand with Adrift In Tokyo. While I haven't seen the trailer for this, i'm guessing that this turns Real Time into chop suey (get it? chop suey is asian, haha). Very simple concept but brilliant execution. Great relaxed bantering dialogue between the two leads on their journey as they encounter fascinating characters that not only show internal character development, but also PUSH THE STORY ALONG (a rarity for side-quests in a RPG). Intensely rediculously hilarious moments and a very beautiful ending, this film speaks to the journey we as adults have all embarked on (when we found hair in weird places).

My time at the Reel Asian Film Fest was alot like a journey through Tokyo. It started off very bumpy, not being able to see a movie that I was looking forward to (Monday). It then became moderately enjoyable, having seen a shitty film but equalized it with seeing the best shorts lineup of my entire life. But then it became worserest than before with me not seeing the OTHER film that I was looking forward to (West 32nd).

Wait, now that I think about it, I didn't see ANY of the films that I really wanted to see. I can't believe I just got screwed over again. And while i'm in my captivity of negativity (name that TV show!) the way they gave out prizes was also a total sham. As it's the Year of the Rat, they had a little rat teddy bear that they'd throw out into the crowd. Whoever caught it won a prize! Problems:
1) Rat was always thrown out by absolutely gorgeous Reel Asian reps (nice mix of guys, girls, and ladyboys) (wait, this is actually a benefit)
2) I will counteract #1 by saying that the Rat only reached halfway into the crowd at Innis, and maybe a few meters out from the stage at the Bloor (not to mention the 2nd level seating of course).
3) Vast majority of the prizes were for chicks/ladyboys, consisting primarily of Chanel products.
A conventional prize system of 'ticket number 444 wins!' would've been much more sensible. To give it some charm, a Rat teddy bear would've been good too. People often thought they'd be able to keep the teddy bear and were a bit disappointed that they couldn't. (and to think of the # of people who touched it...)

More complaining: the showtimes listed did NOT mean the time at which the actual presentation (preamble + prizes + speeches + screening) would begin. The time was actually when people would be let into the theatre. E.g. if a showtime was scheduled for a 5 PM start, that'd mean either the VIP or normal people line would be let into the theatre at that time. For the Closing Gala, the showtime was 8:30, the peons (normal people) weren't let in until a bit past that. Very annoying since I thought it'd be fun to line up with the improverished folk (and I got there 30 minutes beforehand). Hope that they better organize the festival in general for next year.

Speaking of next year, this now makes me think of one more thing. Next year is going to be their 13th Festival. Will they actually mention that? Will it be good or will it suddenly be a disaster? How many people died at their fourth festival? What do other Asian festivals do in terms of numbering?

... and I think that's why this year's festival was alot like a drift through Tokyo. It's a turmoil of emotions, but because you're a foreigner you end up with alot of questions.

And much like a drift through Tokyo, you gotta give big-ups to the people who sent you there (assuming it was a trip on good terms). Show some love for VKPR for hooking me up with a press pass, and Reel Asian for letting me leave litter after all the screenings. While waiting in line I would always be reading something, usually the Toronto Star. So I'd bring it into the theatre with me as well to read while I waited for everything to begin. Once the film started, I'd put the newspaper under my seat WITH THE INTENTION of putting it into the garbage afterwards (for the record). I usually forgot lol. And when I went back into the theatre for the screening directly after, there'd be no newspaper under the seat (usually had the same seat). So thanks Reel Asian for letting my forgetfulness litter while attending your screening.

The biggest joke of all is possibly that I got a press pass to begin with. Willing to bet $50 right now that VKPR takes me off their mailing list (make that double or nothing that I get banned from Reel Asian). All proceeds will go towards a fund to get myself on the donor list for the Canadian Film Centre (and gorge myself at their annual barbeque in front of a disgusted Norman Jewison and a drunk Sidney Poiter).

Reel Asian Nov.15

2008-11-16T09:26:00.004-05:00

My love affair with the Reel Asian Film Festival is starting to become an interesting one, one perhaps of the love/hate sort.

I went yesterday (Saturday) to catch the screening of Flower In The Pocket. As I went to pickup my Media Ticket, I discovered that apparently I can also pickup passes for other screenings on the same day at the *same time* (kudos to Reel Asian for that nice touch). So I asked to get a pass for West 32nd, staring Kumar of Harold and Kumar fame. 'Lo and behold that the guy just in front of me had taken the last ticket. And I had spent 10 minutes outside watching a video (more on that later). GRRRRR!

So I went into the screening of Flower already in a depressed state of mind. Too bad the movie did nothing to improve it, except maybe give me some valuable time to catch up on sleep. The posted description on the movie invokes imaginary, fictitious thoughts of an extremely quirky family comedy. The speaking preamble beforehand also invoked such wondrous dreams. Oh my god I haven't been so disappointed in a long time. This is like a movie with a script by a 5 year old. While that may sound charming on paper, it isn't so charming on screen. This movie is chock full of really lame jokes. The audience was going ballistic with laughter while my face frowned, turning to grimace, turning into thoughts of walking out the door (would be the first time in my life). Utterly horrible movie, perhaps due to my advanced maturity I simply didn't 'get' the jokes (quite likely the case as there were alot of dumb Barack Hussein Obama fans in the audience). I started to fall asleep around the half-way point. I woke up a few times, caught the last scene, and didn't feel like I missed a thing.

So far Reel Asian is unfortunately 0-2 for the features. I'm a tiny bit disappointed that I didn't get to see West 32nd, since I was looking forward to it for WEEKS. But then again i'm happy that it DID sell out, so then Reel Asian makes alot of cash. But then again i'm a little disappointed that the organizers didn't plan for a sell out and move it into a bigger venue (e.g. Bloor or Isabel Bader). And it would've been convienent for us esteemed members of the press if they had some way of letting us know beforehand whether we'd be getting a ticket or not. If I was travelling from Mars to see West 32nd (which I would do! I swear!), I'd be a little pissed to not get in, and perhaps go on a destructive rampage (heard Hitler wasn't let into Schindler's List) (too soon?). I'm quite sure that having seen West 32nd would've given Reel Asian a score of 1-2.

What's more interesting is that i've found the shorts program to be immensely more enjoyable than the features, where at all the other millions of festivals that i've been too, it's ALWAYS the other way around: horrible shorts, fantastic features. What a quirkly little festival!

Reel Asian Nov.14

2008-11-15T11:43:00.003-05:00

So with a salty bitter taste in my mouth, I found myself with time to kill. What did I do? What any sensible Torontonian would do! Check out the new AGO! But the line up was way too long, and I was impatient (youthful energy ftw!), so I decided to begrudgingly check out the Reel Asian Film Fest instead :-(.

Turn that frown upside-down.

)-:

No the other way.

:-)

Yeah. Because what a difference a few days made. On Tuesday it was utter chaos, people running everywhere, nobody knew anything outside of the specific single task that they were given, reminded me of New York on 9/11 (too soon?). Like Pocahontas once sang, it was a Whole New World on Friday.

I walked into the theatre lobby. I was extremely caught off guard by how clean and organized it was. There was a dedicated lineup (guessing for rush tickets or normal ticket holders). There was a row of very nicely organized tables with smily and pretty Reel Asian volunteers behind it. I asked an Asian volunteer (as in their ethnicity) where the Media Sign-In table was, and once again I was bet with a blank stare. My heart sank. The lo and behold, this CAUCASIAN volunteer overheard my question and give me clear and succinct directions. Leave it to the white people to do an Asian's job :S.

The Media Sign-In was a bit of an interesting thing. I've never done it before, so I was just like:
Me: "Uhhhhhh, yo"
Cute Volunteer (CV): "Hello, can I help you?"
Me: "Ummm..... I'm looking to get a press ticket. I'm guessing my name is on that sheet in front of you"
CV: Oh ok, can I have your company name?
Me: Company name? Ummmm...... i'm an independent writer (hahahahahahahhahha)
CV: Oh, well we still need your company name.
Me: I don't have a company.
CV: Oh, hmmm....
Me: Hmmmm....
CV: (Blank stare)
Me: Maybe look up my last name, Pitt.
CV: Hmm..... (looks at sheet), there's no Pitt on my list.
Me: What about my first name, Brad?
CV: Ah, Mr. Brad Pitt! Here you are. (hands me ticket)
Me: Thanks!
Note to self for next year: make up a company name. Maybe something from my favorite TV show, and something that represents where I come from. Toronto Star? Yeah that sounds good.

So last night I checked out two 'screenings'.

1) Wonderful Town
This was an interesting movie. The first half is absolutely magnificent. It takes place in that country where that big tsunami hit a few years ago (Hawaii?). The setting is a little town near the shoreline, the time is just a bit before the tsunami hits. So as the movie progresses, you're filled with this overwhelming dread because YOU know what's coming, but the characters are absolutely oblivious, and you heart aches for them to save themselves. There are two main characters, a guy and a girl. They start to fall in love, but the movie displays their courtship at an agonizingly slow pace. In other movies this would be annoying, but the slow pace works magnificiently in conjunction with the knowledge that the tsunami will hit, making their love something incomplete, ala Romeo & Juliet.
At about the halfway point something happens. The guy and a different random character (who pretty much randomly shows up), start talking. They're talking about the girl, and then Mr. Random says something like "The Tsunami Ruined Everything".
WTF
Soo....... this movie takes place AFTER the tsunami? Well that ruins everything. I just watched this slow burning love story develop, and now I realize how fucking boring it was. So the movie more or less falls apart in the second half. Bunch of random boring events happen, characters are all of a sudden doing weird things, and then the movie ends. Watch the first half and then leave, you'll be much happier. The first half plays like an Asian Once.

2) The second thing that I saw was a lineup of shorts entitled 'Disquieting: Late Night Shorts' (note the last word in the title).
In all the hundreds of festivals that i've been too (alright, just around 5), this was by far the best short lineup i've ever seen. Every single short should be on your shortlist of shorts to watch (har har). Keep an eye out for it in other festivals, try to catch it at the NFB, download illegally through BitTorrent, or hit up P-Mall and maybe you'll see it there. These are all incredible shorts that I would watch again in a heart beat. Two especially stood out:
a) God Only Knows. It's a Mexican (or some Asian version of Mexicans) drama about a mother who gives up her child for adoption so that he gets a better life. The amount of emotion that's packed into this 17 minute short is far more than 20 repeat viewings of Titanic and Lion King combined. During the latter half, the audience was absolutely silent, you could hear a pin drop. Even after the credits started to roll, everybody was still mesmerized. Absolutely amazing short.
b) Huge kudos also go to the last short, Summer Afternoon. It's 16 minutes, and contains around 5-10 cuts. So there's a ton of beautiful long takes that foreign Cinematographers can only dream of pulling off. Great story, great acting, great script, everything about this was great great great, insane cinematography was just the buttercream icing on the vanilla cupcake.

Movie prediction + BITCHFEST

2008-11-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

1) Quantum of Solace. Prediction = $62.8 million.

Very simple weekend which seems very out of place. Should be more than easy for James Bond to rape the box office. Reviews don't looking too good for this one. I didn't find Casino Royale to be all *THAT* great, but the trailers for this one looks absolutely beautiful. :S

In other news: Slumdog Millionaire is getting a limited release this weekend. I caught this movie earlier in the week and it is fucking awesome. Winner of the Cadillac Audience Award at the TIFF 2008, and deserves every bit of it. Great storyline, solid acting, fantastic script, everything about this movie is exactly bang-on. It's being advertised as a love story but that feels a bit out of place. Not because it's NOT a love story, it is. It has an extremely strong love story component to it, but all the other components are also extremely strong as well. And it may scare away some people from watching a potential chick flick. Do NOT leave once the credits start or you will regret it.

So.... let the bitchfest begin.

When people ask what my ethnicity is, I often say i'm African-Canadian. Besides the fact that it's as valid as Barack Hussein Obama, I never truely had a legitimate reason to hide from my Japanese ethnicity (besides WW2) until this week.

Earlier this week I went to go watch a screening of Tuesday by Sabu, as part of the Reel Asian Film Festival. Lemme give you a few reasons why must be an awesome movie.

1-999)

Fucking crazzzzAY still from the movie. Guy with gas mask surrounded by albino asians? And it's NOT a horror movie? Sign me the fuucccck up!

Note that I used the words 'must be an awesome movie', not the words "I saw the movie...". Because if I used the latter that would be a lie. I did NOT see the movie. Why? Because the Reel Asian Film Festival is run by........ take a guess? Asians!

If you look at the film industry as a whole, you'll see that it's a fairly white-dominated business. Asians in particular are for the most part entirely absent from large swathes of various departments. Some may say it's institutional racism. I used to somewhat agree to that theory. But now I know it's because Asians are the worst organizers in the world. With all their intellectual ability, not a single evolutionary period was dedicated to their organizational skills and this showed on Tuesday during my visit to the Reel Asian Film Festival.

The screening was at 6:30 PM. I was told to acquire my press ticket by no later than 6:15 PM. I arrived at the theatre at 6 PM. It was absolute mayhem.

- There was a guy standing outside the theatre handing out brochures. I asked him where the media sign-in table was. He had no idea. He simply told me to look around inside.

- I went inside, saw a few white plastic tables with moderately pretty asian girls behind it. They were busy explaining some overly complicated ticket policy (literally took them ~5 minutes to explain it). I asked one girl who wasn't doing anything where the media sign-in table was. I was met with the worst look ever... a blank stare. I asked if she had someone higher up she could ask. I was met again.... with a blank stare. My search continued.

- I walked around the lobby area, found a Media Services table. There were people hanging out around it. A few white people and a mixed guy. I asked the mixed guy. He said he didn't work for the festival. I asked the white people, they said they didn't work for the festival (what a shame). At this time a not-so-pretty asian girl ran to the table. I asked her if this was where I could sign-in for my Press ticket. Again I got a blank stare.

- Meanwhile admist all this, it was absolute chaos in the lobby. In a medium-sized space there were at least 50 people. There were multiple lineups and people standing around in random locations. There was a rush line but different Reel Asian staff had different opinions on where it was. There was one hot asian chick telling people to stand at a certain spot, and then there was one particularly ugly Asian woman with a loud shrilly voice who was yelling at her that that wasn't the right spot. A co-ordinator came around and said it was the right spot.

- I followed the co-ordinator for a while, but he was yelling information/directions non-stop. I left the theatre around 6:10 PM. On my way out I walked by a few asian people setting up a banner for the Film Festival.

Stunningly horrible organization and crowd management. Left an extremely bitter taste in my mouth and now leaves me cautious towards bothering to try to attend any additional screenings. Buyer beware.

Movie review!

2008-11-11T20:11:00.001-05:00

'AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO VOTE BASED ON SKIN-COLOR' SIZED SPOILER WARNING!!!
P.S. Political recap pushed to next week. No free time this week. Any free time dedicated to Reel Asian Film Festival (more on that later). Any further free time dedicated to reviewing what happens at Reel Asian Film Festival (more on that later). Any further free time dedicated to playing Warcraft (black hole for free time).

1) Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Prediction = $35.8 million. Result = $63.1 million.
2) Role Models. Prediction = $21.2 million. Result = $19.2 million.
3) Soul Men. Prediction = $9.1 million. Result = $5.4 million.

Madagascar utterly raped the box office this weekend. The ability of CG flicks to do such damage endlessly fascinate me.

Was pretty close on Role Models (as opposed to Madagascar). Checked this out over the weekend, incredibly excellent film. Great comedy on the surface, but also has a heart of gold. Incredibly polished script. A few steps below Juno, but considering how excellent Juno was, that's a high compliment. I'm sure there's a few Oscar-dreamers out there that'll think this is a near Oscar-calibre script. Incredible amount of character development, great situational gags that push the story forward, and a brilliantly subtle amount of social commentary. Every geek/nerd/loser (note how the latter gets it's own catagory) worldwide should watch this movie. There's one very beautiful scene that all of the above listed social rejects can relate to. If it brought a tough Leo like me to tears, it'll bring a loser like you to Niagara Falls (because everybody loves Marineland!).

Soul Men flopped huge. It's beyond me why they didn't milk Bernie Mac's death ala Heath Ledger. Oh right, becuase they probably have MORALS! Or maybe because the movie sucked. I don't know, i'm avoiding it like the plague (or like sleeping pills!).

Saw Zack and Miri Make A Porno last week. Incredibly excellent film. Really fantastic romance comedy with great social commentary on pornographic and media culture. I was really caught off guard by how beautiful this film is (both figuratively and emotionally... and sexually emotionally). Seth Rogen is really good in this flick, mainly though because I think i've warmed up to his peculiar style of acting. But the real deal goes to Elizabeth Banks who is INCREDIBLE!!! This is an insane year for her. She has fantastic emotional moments showing humanity admist the pornographic madness. What's hilarious is that any close-up of her is shot in this overwhelmingly glamous style of cinematography, think Marilyn Monroe. She's shown her solid comedy abilties, shown some solid dramatic support abilities (W.), extremely looking forward to her taking on some heavy dramatic lead roles. The only shitty thing about this movie is the post-credit scene. This is by far the WORST post-credit scene i've ever scene (get it? haha). Not funny at all, horribly made (and it's even purposely horrible made, which makes it all the more horrible), just lame lame lame. Leave the theatre right after the credits start and you'll have a much better taste in your mouth (hopefully not salty).

So starting today (or sometime earlier) is this year's Reel Asian Film Festival. Dedicated solely (i think) to Asian Cinema (wouldn't make sense to cater to other cultures given the name), this is one of the great local festivals outside of the insanity of TIFF. The beauty of living in a huge city like Toronto is the development of niche cultures that can be self sustained. In film, there's alot of really brilliant festivals (Women's Film Festival for girls, Inside Out for gays, Planet In Focus for commies), so Reel Asian is here to appeal to the gigantic asian-population in Toronto (legitimate or otherwise). It's a well known fact that Asians make the best movies (e.g. porn), so the Reel Asian Festival is a great period to experience the best independent non-pornographic cinema that Asian people worldwide (mostly from Asia) have to offer.

This year I plan to check out two flicks (though I have free access to many more thanks to my PRESS PASS!! BRAP BRAP!):
1) Monday. A guy talkinga bout this film joked: "The film is called Monday and it's screening on Tuesday". I laughed really hard, most people didn't :S. Conceptually this sounds like an awesome film: guy wakes up, has no idea how he got to wehre he is, huge memory lapse, think like an Asian-Memento (minus the kung fu scenes). Great concept eh? Know what's even ebtter? The director's name: "Sabu". Yeah, he goes by a NICKNAME!!!! How awesome is that? All the world's best director's have nicknames: Spike 'Panther' Lee, Clint 'KKK' Eastwood, George 'Honky-Tonk' Lucas, etc...
Reel Asian has another film from this director, The Blessing Bell. Amazing concept again. Basically the main character is walking from left to right for one half of the film. Then he turns aroudn and WALKS BACK!!! Screw the storyline, I just wanna see this happen!!! Too bad they're showing this during the day though, so I won't be able to check it out :-(
2) West 32nd. This is probably the film i'm most hyped up about. Just another drama flick but has one key thing that makes me want to see it: JOHN CHOOOOOOOOOOOO! (his last name is 'Cho', added extra o's for dramatic effect). I read the description, but my mind is too busy focused on the fact that John Cho is in this. Who's John Cho? He's Kumar from the 'Harold & Kumar' trilogy (urban legend: the 3rd was so shitty it got destroyed). The problem with Asians in Western cinema is that so much of Western acting is based on wrinkles. More wrinkles = better acting (look at history of Oscar acting awards, all wrinkly people, Helen Mirren anybody?). Asians have zero wrinkles, almost android-ish in that sense (which may explain our stunning intellect). I LOVEEEEEE John Cho because somehow, someway, he still exudes oodles of emotions through his smooth skin. And plus he's probably the only Asian actor who will be huge in non-martial arts Western flicks (STARR TREKKK!!) (note the 3 k's).
3) Hopefully I'll be able to catch alot more. But this was already a crazy busy week/weekend before this appeared on my hitlist :S, so we'll see how it goes.

Movie prediction!

2008-11-07T20:16:00.000-05:00

So the stupidity of people worldwide was shown earlier in the week. Though it was fully expected, I still find myself quite frustrated and angry and emotional (against Barack) over the whole thing. Hopefully I can do a final election recap/prediction duo sometime next week.

1) Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Prediction = $35.8 million.
2) Role Models. Prediction = $21.2 million.
3) Soul Men. Prediction = $9.1 million.

There's some really great buzz surrounding Madagascar 2. Unlike many animated films, and sequels for that matter, it's actually supposed to be quite fun and be better than the original. Now that leaves me in a tough position of wanting to see this without having seen the former. Allah damn.

Role Models also has great buzz for being a typical manchild comedy on the surface, but to have a heart of delicious Lindt chocolate underneath it all. Any movie with black people in it (REAL black people) is a plus in my books.

Well maybe there's an exception: Soul Men. Just like The Dark Knight, this stars a now-dead actor. Unlike The Dark Knight, there ain't no 3 AM screening, wassup wit dat? Possible proof that white folk only liked Barack because he's got some true blood in him? Haven't heard anything about this flick, which is usually bad sign. It might have a decent weekend, but look for it to crash hard (NOT Cronenberg-style Crash) in subsequent weeks.

Movie results!

2008-11-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

1) The Haunting of Molly Hartley. Prediction = $17.3 million. Result = $6.0 million.
2) Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Prediction = $26.8 million. Result = $10.7 million.

Pretty lacklustre weekend. New rules to follow:
1) Having Halloween on a weekend does NOT guarantee a horror movie will do well
2) Having a raunchy title does NOT guarantee high box office receipts.

#1 spot this weekend went surprisingly (or un-surprisingly?) to High School Musical 3, with a $15.0 million intake. Much like a kid's attention span, this has dropped off huge leaving it highly unlikely to beat The Dark Knight in revenue. Darn.

In more upbeat news, I saw Made In Jamaica over the weekend, and I gotta say, it was the second best time I've had in a theatre this year (first going to Wanted). Using the patent-pending popcorn meter, I finished a large bag about 1/2 way through the movie. To put things into perspective, I ate about 1/3 of a bag by the time Dark Knight finished. And Made In Jamaica is nowhere near as long. That being said, Made In Jamaica may not appeal to you. Possibly a key reason for it's appeal to me is my endless listening to Flow 93.5 since it's founding days. A key part of it's musical platform was to showcase the sounds and artists from Jamaica, many of whom are featured in this movie. So for me, it was an interesting introspective into the music and philosophies of the artists that I grew up listening to. But all is not well with this film. There's a clear lack of any specific message that it's trying to convey, it sort of plays like a series of short films by the same director. While that sounds like a pretty harsh demerit point, hearing the words of wisdom from these amazing musical artists certainly makes up for it.

Movie prediction!

2008-10-31T20:56:00.001-04:00

Lame ass weekend this weekend folks.

1) The Haunting of Molly Hartley. Prediction = $17.3 million.
2) Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Prediction = $26.8 million.

No matter what Molly Hartley makes over the weekend, odds are it'll be recouping it's budget lol. Saw 5 will probably still make more than this piece of dreck.

I hope to god that Zack and Miri flops big. I'm talking like it makes 15 bucks over the weekend kind of flop. Kevin Smith needs to take a break big time. He's one of a growing list of has beens that need to pull a JCVD. This movie has all the makings of a flop. Great actors thrown into a knowingly god awful film, bad script, bad everything really. The only thing going for it is that it has the magic word in it's title: "Porno". If it does poorly, accurate reflection of Kevin Smith's abilities. If it does well, look for many more raunchy titled movies to come in the future. It didn't work for Sex Drive (unfortunately)...

American Election Recappuccino

2008-10-30T20:13:00.000-04:00

So here we are, Thursday evening, with the American election happening on the other T date (Tuesday). From the primaries, to the general election, to this very day, I think everybody can agree that it's been one wild ride for American politics. And that's about where the agreement ends.

Tuesday night is going to be a fascinating night nonetheless. But what's more fascinating will be the days following as no matter what happens, there will be countless amounts of detailed breakdowns as to why 'whatever' happened. I hope to go through such scenarios today.

Unlike my other media competitors, I will be upfront with my bias. I hate Barack, I love Hilary, and i'm a diehard socialist. I prefer black people over white people but that isn't saying much either way. Anything else? Oh right. I'm a huge supporter of woman's rights. I think on a very subtle level, it would be the most important thing to me, though consciously I would spew other socialist words like Environment and Welfare, etc....

So that being said, let us begin.

Wait, before we begin, let's take a step back to the year 2000. It's Election Day, Bush just got elected. I didn't care too much. Eight years of Democrats, some huge errors that got hush hushed by the media, a Republican can't be too bad right?

Fast forward to 2004. Man this Bush guy is rediculous. I want Howard Dean but the Democrats are too stupid to keep him in. They instead borrow the latest ASIMO model from Honda and have it lead instead. In addition to this, the Republicans do an absolutely insane amount of dirty politics ranging from outright lies, to extreme voter fraud. Republicans win the election.

Aside from my outrage at the Democrat's decision to back a robot, i'm very angry at the Republicans for displaying such election tactics. But I wipe my tears, change my soiled panties, and become a very vocal supporter that the Democrats need to fight dirty as well.

Fast forward again to 2008 and i'm a completly different man. I now wear briefs, I've seen Democrats playing dirty like their Republican bretheren since Janurary 2008, and I am absolutely disgusted.

I am immensely ashamed for ever endorsing such actions (regardless of moment in time). Only once 'my' side started to do dirty politics as well, did I realize how soulless one must become to engage in it, which makes me fear for my salvation... and my party of choice.

Barack Hussein Obama. Lovely name, but too bad he's ashamed of it and his heritage. He caught on very early into the political game, riding on the coattails of Hilary Clinton since his early arrival on the scene. Many say he has run a brilliant campaign. In one sense yes, and that is the incredible ability to fight dirtier than a Republican. I have been on Allah's beautiful earth for countless years, and never in my life have I seen this occur.

Republicans are Republicans. They're naturally inclined to lie, cheat, and steal their way to a victory, and nobody would expect anything else of them. Democrats are supposed to be the upholders of the law. To see them sink to and beyond the level of a Republican makes my heart die a little more each day.

Control of the mass media, racial prejudice, voter fraud, are all but a few of the tactics that the Democrats have very masterly played to convince an uneducated populace to vote for them. This reflects extremely poorly on my opinion of Barack. Coupled with the fact that as a Republican, McCain is running a surprisingly low-dirt campaign is absolutely astounding. What kind of Twilight Zone vortex have we stepped into?

Who do I want to win? My ulterior motive is for a Hilary win in 2012 and/or 2016. How to get there is a whole different question. If McCain wins, what will happen to Obama? If people were intelligent, they'd realize he's an absolute black hole of evil and give him the boot. But people are stupid, so they'll support him forever and ever since he's young enough to be around for a while.

Then what if Obama wins? The Republican Party will be put into a state of internal growth as it reconfigures itself into a new monster. Obama will inevitably be a tool for other politicans to poke and prod to their own bidding. But he has a non-white skin color, making him popular with the mindless American populace. America crumbles a little bit more, and Obama gets a 2nd term in 2012. So by the time 2016 rolls around, people will hopefully be smart (key word) enough to support Hillary. Barack, being the grumpy troll that he is, will unlikely back Hillary for some sort of grudge where she didn't give him her Junior Mints. In 2016, America will be a total sham due to the illogicity of Barack, and be overdue for a Republican correction, thus leading to a Republican victory, and my girl getting shut out again.

So the sad shame is that there's an almost impossibility of my girl Hill ever getting elected President. Which makes me hate Barack all the more.

Now let's talk about who's going to win. Admist all of the wild media stories, there's one tiny little fact that is being ignored: that this is the Democrat's election to lose. Bush approval ratings are at a historical low, roughly 25% approve of him. Simple math even my sperm could do would suggest that Democrats automatically get 75% of the vote. But polls are suggesting that it's an extremely close race, with Obama having an advantage of roughly 5%, but with 10% of the population being undecided.

Now let's take McCain. He's a Republican, by the above math he should only be getting 25% of the vote, but it looks like he'll be getting at least 40%! An undecided voter is another word for someone who's going to vote for the 'safe choice'. Would that be the scary evil dark man from an opposing party, or would it be the pedophilic gentlism of a pale white man who is at least from the incumbent party? Pedophiles everywhere rejoice, McCain pushes past 50%.

However, we're forgetting another thing that can change the odds: voter fraud. In previous elections, extreme fraud by the Republicans helped George W. Bush win back-to-back elections. The Democrats have caught on and aren't letting them be the only ones without a soul. In key battleground states there have been incredible amounts of voter fraud taking place, more than enough to skew the vote in highly contentious ridings. Coupled with the fact that Obama has every black person casting their first vote for him, this scenario is enough for Obama to push past 50% as well.

Outside of voter fraud, what other influences do we have of who might win? The most key one is possibly the media. Since the Democratic primaries, the media has been rooting for Obama, right from Day One. Some so-called journalistic organizations even have the gallantry to outright publicly support him as a whole. The unfortunate truth is that the media dictates the will of the people. Fast rewind to 2001 and 9/11. On paper everybody should've been criticizing America for a whole whack of reasons. But instead the media injects some Vicodin into their black hearts and go on a patriotism spending spree. This spreads to the population, and suddenly you got a country full of Muslim hating crackers.

The media has already chosen the winner, thus that winner will unfortunately be Barack Hussein Obama :-(

The News Today!

2008-10-29T19:41:00.000-04:00

Movie Review!

2008-10-28T19:28:00.000-04:00

If Obama can make up his ethnicity, I can make up holidays. So yesterday I was celebrating Turduckengiving, the holiday where everybody must eat and finish they're own Turducken. Being the tiny girl that I am, it took me the entire day to finish. So that brings me to today:

1) High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Prediction = $35.8 million. Result = $42.0 million.
2) Pride and Glory. Prediction = $9.4 million. Result = $6.3 million.
3) Saw V. Prediction = $16.8 million. Result = $30.1 million.
4) Changeling. Prediction = $14.7 million. Result = $489,015.
5) Passengers. Prediction = $5.8 million. Result = $172,544.

Again, like many weekends prior, predictions/results horibly messed up beyond repair by whacky-tabacky staggered release schedules. Changeling was in 15 theatres, Passengers was in 125. Do the math for a sad face = :(. On the upside, the entire weekend was crazily successful. Definietly one of the best weekends this fall.

Rediculously successful weekend of HSM3. Will be interesting to see how it follows up in following weeks. This movie only cost $11 million to make.

Pride and Glory was a glorious flop. Cost $30 million to make, some executive at Warner Bros is already packing their Gucci bags.

Saw V had an incredibly rediculous weekend. What'll be interesting is how well it'll do on Halloween weekend. If it does BETTER than it's opening weekend, that'll be a sight to tell your grandkids about. Cheap horror flicks are easy money. How easy? This cost $10.8 million to make.

Saw W. and Religioulous over the weekend.

W. is surprisingly excellent, extremely caught off guard at how great a flick this is. That being said, I saw it with one guy who wasn't really into politics, he said it was boring. But another friend who was into politics loved it. This film is a very beautiful humanization of who George W. Bush is, breaks down alot of false-personas that the media has created. Huge kudos to Oliver Stone. However the 'representations' of the token black people (Colin Powell and Condominium Rice) are extremely questionable. They are presented more as caricatures of who they really are, with all their unique quirks greatly exaggerated. Colin Powell especially is rediculous. The movie totally makes him out to be this earnest, Joe the Plumber, hero kind of guy. How interesting that the weekend that this movie released is the same weekend that Powell endorses Obama. Though we knew back in Janurary of 2008 that Powell would endorse Obama, he waits until that time to make it public. And they say he isn't crooked as the rest of 'em? Hmm......

Religulous is rediculous. An entertaining movie for sure, it really does fit the scathing reviews that he's picking on easy people. He does provide alot of compelling arguments against religion, but the moments of him being utterly rude and disrespectful to his interview subjects really look bad on him and drag the movie down.

Movie prediction!

2008-10-24T20:28:00.000-04:00

Another messed up weekend full of wide and small releases. I'll try to reference only the big ones, and again hopefully reference the small ones later when they go wide (which i always forget)

1) High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Prediction = $35.8 million.
2) Pride and Glory. Prediction = $9.4 million.
3) Saw V. Prediction = $16.8 million.
4) Changeling. Prediction = $14.7 million.
5) Passengers. Prediction = $5.8 million.

If there's one movie that can shatter The Dark Knight's box office records, it's the movie known as High School Musical 3. Whereas TDK was mainly focused on people teens and adults, HSM3 sucks every single age group into it's happy-ass vortex. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any crazy ass 6 AM screening ala TDK, so no records are likely to be set. Regardless, there are a shitload of kids out there, look for this to do well.

Pride and Glory is this weekend's bomb of the weekend. Top notch cast, so by all means it should do well. But huge void of advertising, and a pretty dumpy trailer, look for this to bomb big. Which is a dire shame, especially for Edward Norton. That guy needs a hit like Whitney needs crack.

Saw V will rake in ungodly amounts of money as usual for it's miniscual production budget. It's best weekend will probably happen over Halloween.

Changeling is one of the top movie's i've been looking forward to for this year. Crappy advertisements, but fucking top notch trailer. The trailer is extremely complicated, but extremely sensible in it's delivery. A hard combination to deliver but it pulls it off magnificently. Just seeing Angelina Jolie do some crying/yelling has Oscar all over it.

Passengers will also do fairly poorly, but guessing that it cost nothing to make. Zero advertising, haven't seen a single poster or trailer for this one. Sounds pretty interesting though, and it has one of my favorite actresses, Anne Hathaway, in it. A subtle bomb for her would be good for her ego.

Bad Initials

2008-10-23T19:45:00.000-04:00

I have singlehandedly discovered why the media doesn't use Barack's first name. As seen on Facebook:

I swear I didn't edit that image.

I'M NOT INSANE!! AHHHHHHH!

2008-10-22T18:52:00.000-04:00

Proof of my sanity (and dare I say intelligence):

http://www.ldsmag.com/ideas/081017light.html

I highly suggest you look up who the author is.

Movie Results!

2008-10-20T20:58:00.000-04:00

1) Max Payne. Prediction = $16.3 million. Result = $18 million.
2) The Secret Life of Bees. Prediction = $15.2 million. Result = $11.1 million.
3) Sex Drive. Prediction = $24.9 million. Result = $3.6 million.
4) W.. Prediction = $8.8 million. Result = $10.6 million.

This weekend Max Payne unfortunately takes the number one slot, and quite unfortunately didn't flop as I had wished. Expect many more horrible computer game movie ripoffs to come in the future.

The Secret Life of Bees didn't do as well as I hoped. The chick flick genre is naturally a tough one for a tough nigga like me to relate to. Regardless, it only cost $11 million to make. Someone at Fox just got a raise.

Sex Drive absolutely bombed. What kind of messed up world do we live in where escapist flicks like Beverly Hills Chihuahua can rake in nearly $70 million after 3 weeks, when higher-end escapist fare like Sex Drive will likely finish off with only $10?

W. had a very strong opening weekend, no doubt due to a secret plan by the Obama campaign to make it a news item. I bet there's at least one guy who bought 70 tickets for himself.

In other news, I caught Appaloosa last week. Shitty flick. Ed Harris should stop making movies. The entire cast is rediculously good in it, but the script sucks major horse cock. Imagine a fantastic western movie script (western as in the era), now take out every other line, and you've got Appaloosa. You get the gist of every scene, but are told shitall about the actual content of it. For a true western flick, check out Beverly Hills Chihuahua (western as in the culture).

Movie prediction!

2008-10-17T20:19:00.000-04:00

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

1) Max Payne. Prediction = $16.3 million.
2) The Secret Life of Bees. Prediction = $15.2 million.
3) Sex Drive. Prediction = $24.9 million.
4) W.. Prediction = $8.8 million.

This weekend's flop of the weekend will be Max Payne. A horrible computer game adaption that one would imagine is from Uwe Boll himself. The trailer would be fantastic for something entirely different, but it retains none of the film noir, comic book origins of the Max Payne series. Buzz is that there's also minimal (if at all) bullet-time effects. Huge lack of promotional posters as well will undoubtedly lead to disappointing results.

I saw The Secret Life of Bees a few days ago, and I was quite surprised. On paper it sounds like quite the barf-worthy movie. Queen Latifah? Barf. Jennifer Hudson? Barf barf. Dakota Fanning undoubtedly doing more wide-eyed bambi looks? Cue Exorcism-style barfing with 720 degree head spin. So that was the mind set I had going in. As the film progressed, the only barfing that went on was through my eyes (I hope to god you don't get that joke). Your eyes will be barfing so much during this, even a roll of Bounty wouldn't be able to keep you dry. This is an incredibly poignant and fascinating film. It has a very strong story and sticks to it like a bee on honey (ha ha!). Despite the abundance of black people, it doesn't fall into the typical black movie traps of the KKK (and also hip-hop and drugs). More surprisingly is Alicia Keys in a decent role, but has one absolutely stunning moment of beautiful acting. Even more surprisingly is the little bitch that I love to hate: Dakota Fanning. Last time I saw her (albeit it was in a trailer) she was some 3 foot midget with big white eyes who always cried or yelled). Now she's a 4 foot teenager with some crazy ass acting abilities. And a much bigger rack (I had to jerkoff with sandpaper afterwards). It's hard to realize that she's only 14 at the time this movie was made, whe she has the acting ability of Helen Mirren (at 12x the age). This is the first, and definietly not the last, time that I hope a Dakota Fanning movie does very well. Unlike that other child star chick (the funny looking thing in E.T. ... and I ain't talkin' 'bout the alien).

I saw Sex Drive a month or so ago and oh my god, this film is gonna do gangbusters. While it has a weak ass trailer, all other promotional materials are very well designed. Clean, simple, just like the movie. This is a typical teen comedy, blatant copies from all it's predecessors, but jacks everything up to a near Oscar-calibre level of quality making this movie an adventure of pure excellence.

Early buzz for W. is teetering on the lower-end of the critical spectrum. Oliver Stone hasn't had a hit in years (too young to know if he ever did). He immediately lost half of a potential movie audience (Republicans). Though you can bet nearly every insane Democrat will be watching this one, possibly buying out all tickets on purpose just to push it into the number one slot. In fact, if Obama had some cracked out plot to make this movie make more money than Dark Knight, I wouldn't be surprised. If he can conjure up 200,000 fake voting names, I'm sure he can throw a couple hundred million at this one.

What is education?

2008-10-16T20:50:00.000-04:00

I saw a pretty disturbing thing today as I was waiting at the bus station. Two geeky schoolgirls were at an ATM machine (GG-A and GG-B). Another geeky girl (GG-C) walks by, crossing into their field of view. She thinks they're giving her a dirty look and starts asking them about it. It pretty quickly escalates into a screaming match. GG-C is going crazy yelling about dirty looks, GG-A/B have no idea what's going on and are trying to deflate the situation. GG-C suddenly grabs GG-A and they get into a short catfight before GG-C walks away.

It's pretty common knowledge nowadays that it's actually girls who can be bigger bullies than guys could ever dream of being. What surprised me is that the aggressive bullying behaviour has seeped into the 'geek' character class. Back when I was a kid (when I walked to school uphill both ways) geeks were usually the ones picked on, and they never fought back. But here I just saw two geeks going at it (and it was NOT a turnon surprisingly). What was more interesting is that all three geeky girls (GG^3) were wearing school uniforms. To see well mannered people in nice uniforms suddenly acting in such low-income behaviour piqued my interest.

Aren't a sub-effect of school uniforms to teach some form of refined civility? What kind of upraising causes a person to: a) assume someone looking at them in a funny way is giving them a 'dirty' look, and b) to verbally call them out on it? Is this a failure of parenting, of the education system, or society as a whole?

Given the amount of time that we spend within an educational system in our early lives, a large part can be pointed back directly, or indirectly, to the educational system. That brings me to today's random collection of thoughts and topics of discussion.

Many people believe that a solid education enhances one's well-being and ability to 'succeed' later in life. That is to say that if someone receives a poor education (or none at all), they are near-doomed to a life of failure and regret. Though this has been proven to be false by a number of studies (success is *majority of the time* deemed by genetics), many people still lean on the education system to raise their children to be the best that they can be.

Over the years our educational methodologies haven't really changed drastically. At the core it's still a system where children are critiqued, ranked, and given direct opportunities based on their ranking. This is how it was during my childhood, during my father's childhood, during my other father's childhood, and so on and so forth. To change this would infringe on 99% of the world's population's understanding of 'what works'. But to really know if it's the right path, we do need to consider the alternatives.

During my high school years, I went to school with a particularly high-acheiving student. He was incredibly intelligent, got great grades, and was very active on the school clubbing scene. However, all is not what it appears to be. To plump his university applications, he created a few fancily-named clubs with names designed to attract the eye of recruiters. These false clubs rarely had meetings other than the initial, thus they often fell by the wayside. However, as club founder he was able to dictate to the 'educational powers that be' of the hours that he committed to the facilitating of such clubs, and list them under his volunteer contributions to the community. Thus come graduation time, not only did he graduate with a rediculously high average, he also acquired a rediculous amount of community awards for his so-called 'volunteerism'.

For some reason (I'll discuss more later), universities love high-scoring pupils with a volunteer spirit, so he also got a ton of scholarship offers. Some had small print that they were essentially cash prizes. He got so many that if he went to one particularly low-end university, they would essentially be *paying* for him to go, as he would be able to pocket the left over scholarship cash money. He got accepted into a higher-end university and still had to make some tuition payments out of his own pockets. But that was of no concern since he came from an extremely well-off family.

So let's look at the above scenario. Though we have someone who is intelligent, he knowingly manipulated the educational system for his benefit and the post-secondary system REWARDED such deceitful behaviour with scholarships. What will become of him in the future? I wonder if the CEOs of A.I.G. have a similar background. And to make matters worse, though he could easily pay the tuition of 20 students, he was awarded scholarship money anyways. Where's the logic in any of this?

As you can see there are small gaps in logic in the most established routines of the educational system. Here are a few other small gaps in logic:

1) http://www.techlearning.com/blog/2008/08/this_is_why_we_have_so_few_lap.php
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D937U9BO1&show_article=1
Back in my younger years, there was a huge push for computer technology. It was the way of the future they said, any kid without computer experience will immediately be an invalid in the workforce and be sentenced to the mining camps they said. What a load of crap. Admist all the focus on getting computer knowledge into kids at an early age, there was zero consideration on what possible side effects there could be. Let's take a step away from this and look at another issue that's affecting today's kids. Childhood obesity. Is there a connection between the two? Admist all the hoopla of childhood obesity, and despite the DIRECT references to computer usage, it's absolutely bewildering that the educational system is still making such a huge push for kids to use computers. Stat from the 2nd article: 97% of kids consider themselves to be 'gamers'. How frightening is that.

2) http://cbs4denver.com/local/palin.essay.denver.2.820285.html
http://www.statesman.com/opinion/content/editorial/stories/09/0918mincher_edit.html
What kids experience in schools DOES have a subtle effect on their adulthood. Lack of financial education is pointed out as a plausible reason for the modern economic crisis. Who knows what else? Could the requirement of the Pledge of Allegiance lead to the maniacal American patriotism after 9/11? How can we ensure that our kids receive a fair and balanced education? How can we spot what problems are present if they've been present for generations?

3) http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/education/stories/082608dnmetsat2010.153ec19e.html
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080923/national/lakehead_free_tuition
What's in a number? With the overwhelming focus of marks within the educational system, are we ignoring other plausible benefits that we could be taking advantage of? What about the focus on simply learning new things? How much learning really goes on? If a child achieves a high average, are they truely being challenge or being given a free ride? Will the popularity of low-achieving schools skyrocket with kids looking to be given a free ride? What effect will that have on future society?

All food for thought. I for one am getting my moon colony ready.

A New Day...

2008-10-15T20:48:00.001-04:00

... just kidding! Today is much like the one prior, in the fact that Harper has successfully given himself another 2 year minority government (before it breaks down for a renewal). Whoever thought that he'd actually get a majority is a bona-fide idiot. Whoever thought that Liberals would get a minority is also a bona-fide idiot (me on an optimistic day).

Why optimistic? Because some days I like to think that people are actually smart. Admist all the regular stupidity that I see on this planet (unlike my home planet of Youranus), I do occasionally see signs and blips of IQ above 5. On an optimistic day I would hope such a blip would occur during this election. On an optimistic day I would hope that left-minded people alike would be of enough collective intelligence to know of strategic voting. On an optimistic day their forces would converge for the greater good to take down a far greater evil. Judging from the election results, I will soon be crawling back into my pessimistic hole.

In the greater GTA alone, a few seats were freely given away to the Conservatives due to the selfish-minded needs of the NDP and Green Party alike. The modern NDP lallygaggers are much like their Democratic brethren to the south, fanatic, single-minded dolts. They talk alot of smack, don't do alot of deliverance (unless it includes a banjo). So it was to be realistically expected that the NDP would be selfish and happily steal away votes from a Liberal victory just so that they can continue to pretend to be the ultimate against-ers of the Conservative Party.

What's more surprising though is how the Green Party has inadvertently led to a Conservative 'win'. It would be direly incorrect to say that the prescene of the Green Party had a DIRECT effect on the loss of the Liberals to the Conservatives. It's a known fact that the Green Party is made up of mainly former NDP voters (the rest being Communist such as yours truely). There's absolutely no way a Liberal would normally vote for Green Party as they would first be voting for NDP. However, the shocking thing is how little assistance the Green Party provided to close votes. Liz May had the brains to foresee a vote split, and the brawn to call it out in all it's drunken glory. Unfortunately, as Green voters are formerly selfish voters also known as 'NDP' (or the Artist), they ignored their leader's direct call to vote Liberal.

Much like elections prior, the ratio of riding victories versus popular vote is non-sensical. And much like elections prior, there will be a huge hoopla about why there isn't any sort of proportional-based voting. Hmm.... sound familiar? Stupid people ftl. The Conservatives are laughing their asses off in their golden thrones.

Is today Monday or Tuesday?

Movie Review!

2008-10-14T20:17:00.001-04:00

SPOILER ALERT!

One day late due to Canadian's odd tradition of having Thanksgiving in October.

1) RocknRolla. Prediction = $21.5 million. Result = $203, 586.
2) Body of Lies. Prediction = $7.2 million. Result = $12.9 million.
3) City of Ember. Prediction = $17.4 million. Result = $3.1 million.
4) The Express. Prediction = $9.3 million. Result = $4.6 million.
5) Quarantine. Prediction = $12.2 million. Result = $14.2 million.

RocknRolla was apparently NOT in wide release. God damn you confusing movie release dates. It opened in 7 theatres where as Quarantine opened in 2000+, so it did quite good on a per theatre basis.

Alot of people are calling Body of Lies a flop, but I think considering the content and the publicity, $12.9 million is outstanding!! Alot of suckers caught this film, kudos for to the studio to pulling that one off. Oh wait, it cost $70 million to make, so it is a flop indeed.

The definite flop is City of Ember. Quite tragic that it took so little in, especially in comparison to it's budget of $38 million. I caught it over the weekend and for a kid's movie, it's surprisingly quite beautifully made (though i'm no expert on kid's movies... yet). The first half especially has gorgeous production design and camerawork. It's no Children of Men, but it's great for a kids flick.

Another flop is The Express. Cost $40 million to make. Hope Obama flops similarly.

Quarantine is this week's only success story. An obs cheap horror flick, cost only $12 million to make, so everything from here on in is pure profit. A very nice position to be in! Plus Halloween's coming up, so horny male teens everywhere will be bringing their significant other to check this out and to cop a free feel.

Most successful of all however is that the god-forsaken film known as Beverly Hills Chihuahua is once again in the #1 slot with !!!!! $17.5 MILLION !!!!!!. w-t-f

I also catched Blindness over the weekend. Overall a great flick. Definietly not excellent, definietly a notch above 'very good'. Julianne Moore delivers the goods here. Do NOT watch this on a whim. This film will challenge you (ya i'm not going into specifics), so be prepared for that.

Movie prediction!

2008-10-10T20:00:00.000-04:00

1) RocknRolla. Prediction = $21.5 million.
2) Body of Lies. Prediction = $7.2 million.
3) City of Ember. Prediction = $17.4 million.
4) The Express. Prediction = $9.3 million.
5) Quarantine. Prediction = $12.2 million.

RocknRolla was actually released on Wednesday, so the weekend haul may not be all that impressive. What is definietly impressive however is the movie itself. I went to an advanced screening a while back, first Guy Ritchie film i've ever seen, and was blown away at how good the movie is, considering that this is the same guy who made Swept Away. A great film, safe bet for this weekend.

Body of Lies will unfortunately be another flop for two great people. One is Ridley Scott. An endlessly talented individual, who possibly needs to reign in his talent and not let it get overboard from reality. He's unfortunately done way more misses than hits, but when he hits it's a true gem. Unfortunately this is unlikely to be a gem according to early buzz. The other unfortunate person is Russell Crowe. This guy is the master of flops and needs a hit bad. Fantastic actor thrown into horrible packages. Notice that I haven't included 'ole faithful Leo. He's had too many hits lately, so a flop will do good to keep him grounded, and he'll be redeeming himself quite shortly. A horribly confusing trailer doesn't help bring crowds into this either. It could be a huge hit, but only because people thought it'd be good.

City of Ember will be a monster this weekend. Mediocre trailer, but it does showcase what a beautiful film it is. And of course it has Bill Murray who, unlike the forementioned individuals, hasn't done a bad role in years. He delivers the goods, and early buzz is that he delivers them again here.

I hope The Express crashes and burns. That'll help bring an end to the stupid inspirational sports genre, and also help out with things in the political arena. Look for the media to endlessly create links between this film and Obama (who is a half white Muslim need I remind you, don't get me started). Now if the film becomes a blockbuster hit..... oh boy. We won't hear the end of it.

I have mixed feelings towards Quarantine. On one hand it seems like a pretty decent flick. Great concept, great trailer, seems good for a little break from reality. On the other hand, it's a dangerous expansion of the 'handycam' film genre. Do we REALLY want more of these movies? How soon before we get the theatrical re-release of the Paris Hilton sex tape? We're walking down a dark alleyway my friends.

Nuit Blanche 2008 Review

2008-10-08T19:35:00.000-04:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. That legendary quote from Clifford Takes a Trip sums up this year's edition of Nuit Blanche, and all for the better. It had highs, it had lows, but in the end it is an improvement over last year's fiasco (not fresco), though this year is not without it's fair share of blights.

Last year was a huge success in terms of attendees, not so much in terms of art. The vast majority of the exhibitions were utter shit, and there were alot of it. This year, Nuit Blanche had more of a concentrated/focused feel. It felt like the number of exhibitions were drastically lowered, and that they were much more spread out. The scuttling of weak exhibitions had a positive effect of raising the overall quality compared to last year's. Though I myself found a few of the exhibitions this year to be of a dubious nature, it was simply because it didn't appeal to my artistic interests, which is totally acceptable in the realms of art. Art SHOULD challenge what you enjoy, unfortunately it's hard to enjoy a challenge to your enjoyment and still enjoy that challenge which most people don't enjoy because it's a challenge.

Much like 2007, I was unable to visit Zone C which I knew had the most gold. And therein lies my key gripe with Nuit Blanche 2008. For something that's so inherently dependent on walking, and for the fact that we live in the technological year of 2008, it's brazenly amazing that Nuit Blanche fails to realize this.

I stuck mainly to Zone A and Zone B because of a simple exhibition time vs. travel time ratio. I was able to devise a primitive 'one-way' course, where zero back tracking would be required and a large swath of exhibits would be reviewed. Judging from the map (more on that later), this would be impossible in Zone C. My limited understanding of Zone C was that it was a derelict/factory type of area. Roads would be cobblestones at best, sideways not invented yet, thus making it a horrid (more on that later) area to be walking in. Though it was beautiful to see all the commissioned (aka: good) exhibitions concentrated along one single strip, the amount of backtracking required to visit them (e.g. walk down / then back up an alleyway) was a severe turn off to my one-track mind (sex).

What I didn't know was that apparently there were alot of alleyways and shortcuts in that area to cut from one exhibit straight into another. This also occured alot in my journeys in Zone A/B. I (I go first) and my niggaz would be visiting an event, then someone would know of an alleyway/shortcut so that we wouldn't have to walk around an entire city block. It would've been extremely nice to see such shortcuts on the map, maybe a dashed line or such to signify it as a shortcut. Planning is of an utmost importance to true success at Nuit Blanche and to not have such information readily at our disposal is of an utmost fail.

Another fail is the socalled 'plan your trip' feature on the Nuit Blanche website. Prior to the event, I had always wanted to use this as it the tool was receiving so much publicity. Every publication was saying shit like 'check the 'plan your trip' tool on the Nuit Blanche website!'. After Nuit Blanche was over, I decided to check it out and was appaled at what I saw. I was envisioning something that was truely buzzword worthy. Something that 'harnessed the power of the internet', used 'efficient consumer data algorithms', and 'Powered by Google Maps'. Saddly the Scotiabank Nuit Blanche handlers live in the bronze age. The hyped up 'plan your trip' tool is simply a shitty list of the events into catagories such as 'scary' or 'family-friendly'. Whoop-dee-doo. How awesome would it have been to have a tool where you can input all the events that you want to see, and have it plot out a course of action for you? Include information on shortcuts and alleyways, the possibilities towards a successful experience at Nuit Blanche are staggering to say the least.

Another gripe is a repeat of last year's problem, which is utterly false advertising in the promotional materials. Many exhibitions were in locations different from the map, I couldn't even find some of them. Directional details for horrid (e.g. the directions for the Horridor were horrible). All promotional images need to have a huge disclaimer attached stating that 'objects are NOT as they appear'. In fact, all exhibition descriptions should be filtered by a third party to ensure that the description does HONESTLY match the description. It's sad that I have to do this, but I'll simply be picking exhibitions in 2009 simply by the title as that's the only thing that's 'honest' in the brochure.

One final gripe (for now) is again a same problem that occured last year, in that exhibitors were packing it in wayyyy too early. Nuit Blanche is advertised as 'until sunrise', so why are you packing up at 3 AM? Sunrises at 3 AM? What the fuck, is this Iceland? It should be mandatory that all exhibitors continue straight up until sunrise. Anything involving scheduled performances should have a mandatory one right at 6 AM (even if the sun is miraculously up at that time). A part of the problem here though is the open definition of the term 'sunrise'. It makes for a great marketing phrase, not so great in terms of real world usage. When the fuck is sunrise? Nobody can see the fucking horizon, so how do we know when sunrise is? A nice thing to have would be giant digital displays at the information booths letting people know exactly what time sunrise is expected to hit, so that we can hold these exhibitors fully accountable for being lazy. Uh oh, sunrise is at 9 AM? You better fucking keep dancing until 9 AM buddy, maybe you'll think twice about participating next year.

TTC service was shitty as usual, but that's a really really tough problem to crack. Anybody who reflexively says 'close downtown to cars!' should be shot, maimed, and THEN killed... and then diced up and marinated with herbs (look that one up).

Alot of negative thoughts, so i'll end this on a positive note. I did see alot of exhibitions, some were mediocre, some I enjoyed, some I hated, and that's exactly how Nuit Blanche should be. If I liked all of them, that's ultimately a problem. If I hated all of them (2007), then that's an even bigger problem. But art is a fickle thing, and like I said before, to be occasionally challenged through art is a further development of ourselves.

Admist all the fantastical installations and burgeoning crowds, my favorite event was possibly one of the simpliest. At the Toronto Public Library there was a high school improve group that was putting on a show. It was a continuous show, one part every hour on the hour, they did 12 short skits, going straight up to a 6 AM show (unlike 95% of other exhibitors). It was cute, it was painful, it was funny, it was beautifully offensive. It interestingly enough summed up my entire emotions about Nuit Blanche and was really what I thought to be the best exhibit of the event. Unfortunately there are alot of dumb people, so obviously something with huge crowds like Blinkenlights will win the People's Choice Award.

It's now Wednesday, and I still find myself recovering from the massive sleep deprivation of Nuit Blanche. It's a beautiful feeling that I wouldn't change for the world.

Movie Results!

2008-10-06T20:28:00.000-04:00

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

1) An American Carol. Prediction = $8.9 million. Result = $3.8 million.
2) Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Prediction = $17.3 million. Result = $29.0 million.
3) Blindness. Prediction = $14.8 million. Result = $2.0 million.
4) Flash of Genius. Prediction = $12.9 million. Result = $2.3 million.
5) How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Prediction = $14.9 million. Result = $1.4 million.
6) Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Prediction = $26.0 million. Result = $12.0 million.
7) Rachel Getting Married. Prediction = $16.3 million. Result = $0.3 million.
8) Religulous. Prediction = $13.8 million. Result = $3.5 million.

So one thing that I realized afterwards is that with ~8 new movies, nearly impossible for each of them to be above $10 million in revenue, people don't watch THAT many movies. Note to self...

An American Carol opened pretty weak, but fits given the lack of advertising. Unlikely to make back it's $20 million budget.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua proves that there are alot of stupid people on this planet (as opposed to my home planet of Xinhua). This is utter rape of all logic.

Blindness did fairly weak, but it's a super duper artsy kinda flick, forgot most people aren't smart enough for it (see prior).

Flash of Genius did pretty weak. Considering the amount of advertising behind it this is a certified flop. No idea how much it cost though, so who knows, Greg Kinnear ain't expensive.

No surprise with How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Zero advertising = zero revenue. Made $801 per theatre, so if you saw it, you were ~1% of that theatre's revenue!

I suppose Nick and Norah performed fairly well. Probably an el-cheapo film to make, $12 million's pretty good for a comedy.

So apparently Rachel Getting Married only opened in 9 theatres (for a rediculous $33,667/theatre revenue, 4x Beverly Hills Chihuahua). God damn you staggered release dates and your ability to endlessly confuse me!!!

Religulous didn't exactly shatter any records, but docs are also an el-cheapo catagory, so a few mill is probably quite good for it.

I was able to catch Flash of Genius over the weekend, and was quite happy with what I saw. Greg Kinnear does quite admirably. The script doesn't require any intense acting abilities, so it's a nice role for Kinnear to showcase himself into. Everything about the movie is very decent, zero disappointments.

My only negative thing would be that there's been alot of hoopla about how 'unlikeable' Kinnear's character is. Unfortunately, this didn't come through to me at all. All possible 'unlikeable' moments came at the same time as he was getting screwed around by a big auto company, so who wouldn't be unlikeable in that situation? One of my nicorette's (change the c to a g to get what I mean...) thought the film was like a TV movie, which is really quite true. It definietly has Hollywood production values and budget (or appearance of it) and such, but it definetly has a 'sensation' or 'feel' that you're watching a TV movie, there's a certain je ne sais quoi about the whole thing. There's also a few totally random moments where the camera will suddenly become handheld/docu-style, and start to whobble, do random zooms/pans/etc... Utterly jarring, and makes absolutely no sense in it's usage. Actually that would be the only negative thing, and which probably creates a beautiful TV movie sensation. Good job director, why you would want to make a TV movie is beyond me.

If you're looking to watch some good trailers, watch this 'fo 'sho, and refund your ticket later if you have zero interest in the actual movie. This is basically a hit list of the top films this awards season. Check 'em out, you'll have zero regrets.

Movie prediction!

2008-10-03T20:17:00.001-04:00

1) An American Carol. Prediction = $8.9 million.
2) Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Prediction = $17.3 million.
3) Blindness. Prediction = $14.8 million.
4) Flash of Genius. Prediction = $12.9 million.
5) How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Prediction = $14.9 million.
6) Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Prediction = $26.0 million.
7) Rachel Getting Married. Prediction = $16.3 million.
8) Religulous. Prediction = $13.8 million.

An incredibly packed weekend we have here folks. The beauty of it all is that there's alot of gems in this one.

An American Carol is quite good in concept, but haven't seen any trailers or posters or anything really about it. Look for it to flop big time.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the proud owner of the most annoying trailer ever and also the recipient of the 'never-ending trailer' award, a rare double feat in these troubled times. But kids love this shit, so they'll go to it in droves.

I really hope Blindness does well. Fantastic script, has my niggerette Julianne Moore, and fellow chink Sandra Oh in the most awkward trailer appearance ever. Alot of great buzz surrounding this, and Jules never disappoints, I definietly hope to catch this one.

Flash of Genius is another huge gem. It has Greg Kinnear who's been slowly developing quite the career for himself. After countless years in great supporting roles, he's finally taking the limelight and doing a great job at it, unlike other people (I'm looking at you Rainn Wilson). Great true story, alot of buzz, but quite unfortunate that I haven't seen the trailer attached to anything. Look for it to not do too well this weekend.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is a bit of an odd one. I haven't seen a trailer, barely saw a glimpse of a poster, yet i'm still fairly intrigued by this... almost enough to make me see it (but not quite). Very funky style of advertising, definietly will appeal to the teen crowd, will probably do gangbusters.

This week's disappointment? Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. When I first heard of this I was over the moon with delight. Great comedic actor, nifty little script concept, an actress that'll do a good job at looking good, what could go wrong? Let's see....
- Ripoff of Juno-style marketing
- Writer is a good friend of Diablo Cody, so at least some implicit inspiration is at play
- after giving it more thought, do we REALLY need to see Michael Cera in his 200th shy/geek role?
So after initially having insurmountable expectations, they've hit near rock bottom, and i'll likely be avoiding this like the plague. Unfortunately, alot of dumb kids love copycat flicks, so this will do great, and then we'll see Michael Cera in ANOTHER shy/geek role soon after :-(

Rachel Getting Married is one flick i've been looking forward to for MONTHS. Much like Greg Kinnear, Anne Hathaway has been doing incredibly well in supporting roles but not really getting the publicity that her talents deserve, unlike other people (I'm looking at you Rainn Wilson). The buzz surrounding her leading performance in this flick is off the charts and i'm eager to see how my wiggerette does in this. Unfortunately haven't seen a trailer, nor any posters, so I can only hope that other audience members are aware of this little gem.

Religulous is a bit of a write off. I don't really like Bill Maher. I liked the overall concept of his television show, but his actual style and personality puts me off a bit. Whenever I look at him I just get that sensation that he's a swarmy guy, who rigs situations / guest appearances to his own personal benefit. My ESP-abilities are confirmed in this movie which is another step down for the Documentary genre at large. The trailer is fairly lame, buzz is that he only chooses situations/guests that he can decimate, where's the real joy in that? But then again there is a greater joy in seeing religious people being taken down a notch. I may find myself watching this one but too ashamed to admit it.

The News Today

2008-10-01T20:13:00.000-04:00

1) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080923/canada/vancouver_bc_julian_west_resigns
Apparently if you're a part of the Marijuana Party, you're not allowed to smoke pot.

2) http://www.reuters.com/article/rbssFinancialServicesAndRealEstateNews/idUSN2340224020080923
Good uses of 'patriotism' on the rise

3) http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20228488,00.html
This isn't news

4) http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/2008/09/the_biden_paradox.html?nav=rss_blog
Great pick Obama! You have the decision making skills of a bush (I mean a vagina).

5) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/19/can-binge-drinking-save-social-security/#more-3095
Exactly why sin taxes are a great thing and why we need more people to take up these horrible addictions.

6) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/24/you-cant-handle-the-truth/
This is why I refrain from arguing with lower-class humans.

7) http://www.johnmccain.com/mccainreport/Read.aspx?guid=74063c9d-7cb5-47c9-acf6-53c0c2d88376
Lies from Liberal media? Ya don't say.

8) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080924/world/obama_effigy
And so it begins...

9) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D93D8TDO0&show_article=1
He beat Obama to it!

10) Look at the video freeze frame from this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26872907/
Now compare it to this: http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/09/mccain-not-comm.html
Media bias from MSNBC? Nahhhhhh

11) http://www.opensecrets.org/news/2008/07/top-senate-recipients-of-fanni.html
Look for Obama. Now look for McCain. Hmmm.....

12) http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0924082obama1.html
Pretty good arguments.

13) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D93CO83G0&show_article=1
Democrats hard at work.

14) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/indepth/id_bloc/s/capress/080924/delection/fedelxn_duceppe_3
Hilarious! Gives a reason to go to jail perhaps?

15) http://www.thestar.com/FederalElection/article/505602
Brown people are a bunch of suckers.

16) http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/83bfe68c-8a8f-11dd-a76a-0000779fd18c.html
Economy in danger? Let's give money to gas guzzling car companies!

17) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080925/ap_on_re_as/as_china_space_article_1
China's the best.

18) http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/09/florida-congres.html
The Race Wars are one step closer.

19) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13888.html
New York Times biased for Obama? NO WAY!

20) http://www.suntimes.com/news/watchdogs/1184049,CST-NWS-watchdog25.article
You will never hear of this again. A Democrat investigating Obama? Gee, I wonder how this will end...

21) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1061791/Could-Clinton-come-Internet-buzzes-rumours-Biden-replaced-Hillary-Obamas-running-mate.html
Verrrry interesting. New joke: Hillary's a heartbeat away from being VP. If Obama continues to ignore the rumor, he'll face the same fate as Kerry.

22) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hlZbpXbUt5CbF3Ra6tEc-6uzzToAD93DPJO84
+1 reason for parent licensing

23) http://www.efluxmedia.com/news_David_Blaine_Not_Dead_Body_Functioning_Normally_25068.html
Very sad news... that he's still alive.

24) http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080924.welxnwomensgroup0924/BNStory/Front
Lol, a Conservative stealing money from a Conservative-funded women's group? Who honestly didn't see that coming.

25) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080925/koddities/oddity_calendar_error
This is HILARIOUS!! It could've been much MUCH worse, look at the keyboard for other possibilities.

26) http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/liberal-pacs-ready-attack-ad-on-mccains-health/?pagemode=print
Hopefully this will finally make race a fair topic.

27) http://washingtontimes.com/news/2008/sep/24/media-chronicles
Everything that's wrong with the media is in this article.

28) http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/09/mccain_kept_head_down_in_meeti.php
Beware of Democrats writing the news.

29) http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/25/iran.israelandthepalestinians1
Bush continues to surprise us with this sudden uptick in intelligence. Why do outgoing leaders always save their best decision making abilities for the end? :-(

30) http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/culturemonster/2008/09/critics-spellbo.html
Critics amazed at the size of Daniel Radcliffe's cock.
Oh you clicked the link? You pervert.

31) http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE48P7IC20080926
How ironic.

32) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/27/sports/27theater.html?ref=sports
One very interesting winner in the economic crisis: the re-selling of naming rights!

33) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/29/business/29bailout.html?bl&ex=1222833600&en=78e47e85adbe5725&ei=5087%0A
New York Times failes to realize that McCain's last minute refusal to agree to the bailout the week prior is what brought about the improvements.

34) http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/expats/expats_news/article1746817.ece
Sculpture of Chairman Mao.

35) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/3099484/Chef-dies-after-eating-superhot-chilli-for-bet.html
This is why I never eat spicy food.

36) http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/29/congress.wallstreet1
Pelosi opens her big fat mouth again and ruins everything. At this time there is no mention of it on MSNBC or New York Times... hmm....

37) http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080930/meltdown_tough_votes.html?.v=1
At what point should elected representatives look beyond their own constituents and make decisions based on the greater good of their country?

38) http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-talk-naked-sarahsep30,0,4944201.story
Perfect snapshot of Americana. What's worse? A painting of a naked politician, or the painter's daughter who was the model?

39) http://www.thestar.com/FederalElection/article/508742
One step closer to American-style politics.

40) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/508638
Drive-thrus should stop being car only.

41) http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/canada/story/4232643p-4874148c.html
Thought Layton was trying to copy Obama's campaign.

42) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080930/sports/cycling_fra_tour_uci_aus_armstrong
Great quote: "We're not asking for any exception, but..."

43) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080930/world/somalia_piracy_us
The pirates are pretty fucked.

44) http://gawker.com/5056966/wamu-changes-stance-on-grey
HILARIOUS!

45) http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/HopeTacos/gG59KJ
Look up who Jeff Zucker is.

46) http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/e9b5c35e-8f1b-11dd-946c-0000779fd18c.html
Mastermind ploy from the Republicans? Wouldn't be the first time.

47) http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=76645
The Vice-presidential debate moderater is a known Obama-supporter. Media bias? NO WAY!

48) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/13/BAT412AG29.DTL
Interesting benefit to police security cameras.

49) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hi4rzBxgMTM92A9p57rUG_iBvQXAD93HM72G4
China wins again.

50) http://www.wftv.com/news/17592463/detail.html
I wish I had a teacher like that. Oh wait, I sorta did...

51) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=081001084306.ipencnwu&show_article=1 \
For once Canada is a trailblazer in something.

52) http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/30/unlike-clinton-biden-gets-pass-saying-shot-iraq/
Sexism never ends.

53) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081001/ap_on_re_us/gang_mom_1
+1 reason for parent licensing

54) http://www.washtimes.com/news/2008/oct/01/pelosis-pac-pays-bills-for-spouses-firm/
Pelosi strikes again. First and last time you'll ever hear of this.

State of the Union Address: Canadian Politics

2008-09-30T20:16:00.000-04:00

My fellow Canadians, we are on the brink of a Brave New World (get it? haha). Tomorrow night is the first of two debates (that is if you consider the French debate to be a debate) in the Canadian Federal Election.

Much has changed in the past few years. People have come and gone, the former pack leaders are now the underdogs, the world itself has even gone through a tremendous amount of change. So it is right here, right now, that I bring the Straight Talk Express north of the border, get onto the podium, and be straight up with y'all.

We. Are. Fucked.

As a die hard Liberal, I bleed red for my country (no coincidence natch). I'm extremely left-minded philosophically, but i'm also very realistic, which flies in the face with the majority of left-wing ideas. I am very pleased with the legacy that Jean Chretien has left us with. Great years of leadership and fantastic development of Canada itself. History will look back on him as a key part of itself (itself being History himself), but therein lies a problem for us hippies. How do you follow-up greatness?

Everybody knows, but is reluctant (or too stupid) to admit that Chretien was a fantastic Prime Minister. Thus it creates a problem within his own political party to fill the gigantic void that he has created upon his departure. Paul Martin was fantastic as an underling, but greedy and jealously (and possibly some homo-eroticism) got the better of him and he was undoubtedly the worst Prime Minister in a long time (at least 8+ years). Thus Liberals look like shit. Next election rolls around, who are people going to vote for? NDP? Wayyyy too hippy. Green party? They're just getting started. That leaves no other options (Bloc doesn't count) other than the Conservatives.

Now the Conservatives are friggin diabolical masterminds (which fits perfectly into their political agenda). If you recall, the now-Conservative party was a merger between the Progressive Conservatives and the Canadian Alliance (also known as the Reform party, taking a page from Prince's notebook). During Chretien's era, they both realized that in the 21-century's hippie-minded population, neither of them would ever be able to win into a minority government, let alone a majority. Nobody really could think of a solution, except one diabolical mastermind (he even looks like it), Stephen Harper.

During this time period he was simply a *member* of the Canadian Alliance. But he knew what needed to be done. Unlike other people, a true mastermind has a well laid out plans to achieve certain goals. Stephen Harper's goal was to become Prime Minister (equivalent to ruler of the world in diabolical terms). How would he get there? Let's go through his steps:
1) Run for leadership of Canadian Alliance
2) Win it under the key provision that he promises never to merge with the Progressive Conservative party.
3) Merge with the Progressive Conservative party, creating the new Conservative Party of Canada
4) Win a minority government through the combination of both voting groups
Harper knew that the right-wing vote was getting split, and that split was what was preventing them from greatness. He kept his eye on the prize, telling a few lies here and there, breaking a promises here and there, but with the full knowledge that all would be forgiven once he landed in the royal throne as Prime Minister.

So the right-wing side of politics got all their dramas settled out. What about the left-wings? Let's go through the list:

Green Party. They are on an ever-increasing upswing. Elizabeth May is an incredibly intelligent and competent leader. She's full of surprisingly realistic ideas, very unique approach to politics. She's really turned hard left-politics into something marketable, and I hope the Green Party is smart enough to keep her around for a much longer time. Very eager to see how she will perform in the debate and I have extremely high hopes she will be quite the prescence.

NDP. Some how, some way, this party is doing extremely well. They have very nicely communistic ideas that I support on paper, unfortunately they don't do so well on the financial side of things of how they're going to pay for all the expensive, grand-standing ideas. But somehow, someway, people are flocking to them in ever-increasing numbers. They have THE best marketing campaign right now. In all their ads it feels like it's an ad for a Liberal campaign, but then you see it's for the NDP! And that leaves an extremely powerful impression, consciously or not. Jack Layton is a mixed bag. Incredibly charismatic, great at riling up a crowd, gives fantastic one-liners to the media, but also incredibly inept. There's no coincidence in his decision to mimic Obama's own campaign style. They both fit the same bill to a T.

Liberals. Oh Liberals. They are exactly where I expected them to be, and I frankly would bother to change it for the world. Another Conservative win? I don't give a shit. Liberals tank and get killed by the media? Boo hoo. JT says cry me a river. This is the only party capable of true, constructive change to Canada, and I am more than willing to wait so that they can do it properly.

After the departure of Chretien, it's understandably difficult to find a man (don't pretend Findlay has any use outside of a kitchen... look at her. Get it? haha) who can surpass his skills. Martin was an over-ambitious bust. The leadership race was a farce. What most people saw as the top-two picks are the WORST imaginable (even Fat Findlay would be better). Ignatieff strikes me in the worst way possible. He has fantastic standing..... in the UK and USA. He comes back to Canada essentially just to run for leadership of the Liberal party? You've GOT to be fucking kidding me. What, a near majority of people support him in that endeavor?!?! People are stupid indeed. This guy has way too many skeletons in his closet, an ex-pat just looking to become a leader, this has Paul Martin-esque levels of failure all over it.

The other man in the 'what stupid people wanted' was Mr. Bob Rae. No, I am not joking, I SWEAR!! Yes, people ACTUALLY considered Bob Rae to be a leader of the Liberal party. No, not in some other dimension/planet, but this one, the one you are living in. I swear i'm not joking, please stop laughing. Other than his questionable political history, this is also a fantastic example of how useless young people are in the capabilities of real politics. Young adults are all too focused on one-liners fed by the media, fake-issues created by various candidates, basically distracted like a suger-loaded ADD child, with a huge inability to focus on the real issues at hand. These are mostly the same young adults who supported Rae, obviously too young to really have any idea of what he did while Premier of Ontario.

Of course, there was also my #1 nigga Gerald Kennedy involved in the whole leadership mess as well. Thankfully as a total fluke he ended up losing in the early rounds. Kennedy (coincidence?) shows an incredible amount of promise and has a stunningly strong history that can do no ill will towards the future of Canada. However, I do desire for him to lay low for a little while longer before he can blast Canada into the 24th century, a few hundred years early.

This leaves us with the winner of the Liberal leadership race, Stephane Dion. The overall perception is that Dion won simply because he was the 'lesser' of the three evils (others being Ignatieff and Rae). People who hated Ignatieff would swing to Dion just to make sure that Ignatieff didn't win. People who hated Rae swung to Dion just to make sure Dion didn't win. During the race nobody really liked Dion, which is a dire shame.

It's quite sad how short people's memories are. It's as if each New Years Day, people's mental hard drives are formatted due to alcohol poisoning. Do you recall that small 'ole Quebec Referendum a decade or so ago? You know, the one where Quebec got the great idea of splitting off, thus turning Canada into two big islands with an ugly step sister inbetween them? A key part of the failure of the seperatist movement was none other than Dion himself under his then duties as Minster of Intergovernmental Affairs (aka Administrator of Bitchslaps to Quebec). If not for his efforts, Quebec would be it's own sovereign country as we speak (or read). Another key moment in Dions history is under Paul Martin's so-called government where Dion was Minister of the Environment. Unfortuantely due to Martin's incompetence, Dion wasn't able to make huge strides. But he DID have incredibly astute intentions and solid plans in progress before the beheading of the Liberal government. Modern day's friendship (romance?) between Elizabeth May and Dion dates back to this period where May vouched for Dion's commitment to the environment.

Another huge plus for Dion is his intellectual abilities and argumental skills. The Liberal leadership was a farce, and Dion's debating skills in it were null and void since he wasn't seriously considered to be a contender. However, as we stand on the eve of the French language debate, and the English debate the day after, get ready to rumble. In political circles Dion's debating skills are off the charts and strike fear into the hearts of many. He can slice and dice your argument, turn it back against yourself, and still do a mean flambe on someone else. Add in the pseudo-alliance between the Greens and the Liberals and we could end up with a debate that may actually be watchable.

And on the note of alliances, let me go back to exactly why we are so fucked. With the right-side of politics now nicely amalgamated, it's easy to forsee that they will forever win either minority or majority governments as long as the left-side of politics is split. But that is not why we are fucked, it's even worse. A merger amongst the left-side parties is inevitable. Once that happens, we will be taking one step closer to American-style two party politics where each party is essentially the same, but packages iteself into a different colored box (e.g. black). The beauty of earlier politics, with multiple parties and multiple ideas will no longer exists, and we will soon be stuck choosing between Captain Crunch or Cheerios. Since I hate either cereal brands, that is why we're fucked.

Movie review!

2008-09-29T20:04:00.000-04:00

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

1) Eagle Eye. Prediction = $30.7 million. Result = $29.2 million.
2) Miracle at St. Anna. Prediction = $14.2 million. Result = $3.5 million.
3) Nights in Rodanthe. Prediction = $19.3 million. Result = $13.5 million.

Finally, after a long streak of horrible predictions, my ass finally pulls out an accurate one! Eagle Eye had a fantastic opening, looks like it'll do well during it's run. The only downside being that it means more Shia LaBeouf.

I was pretty off in predictiong on Nights in Rodanthe. I forgot that chicks don't like paying for movies (guess who ends up footing the bill!). But for a chick flick, i'm pretty sure this is a pretty strong opening, and it grabs the #2 slot, a great thing for a chick flick. Reviews are disappointing, no Oscar nom for Lane :-(.

Miracle at St. Anna bombed as predicted, just much more horribly. $3.5 million is HILARIOUS!!!! Wanna know what's more funny? The movie cost $45 million to make!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FLOP OF THE YEAR!!! I made the gigantic mistake of seeing this over the weekend, and o-m-g, is it ever horrible.

So my expectations were EXTERMELY low. Horrible trailer brought my expectations to a low level. Bad reviews brought it lower. Spike Lee's feud with Nazi Eastwood bumped up my expectations a tiny bit. So in the end, my expectations were a half-step below 'bad movie'. It was 10x worse than that.

I suppose I can't be too critical since this is Spike Lee's first movie. What? You say he's made other movies before? That's impossible. This must be his first movie as it has typical mistakes by first-time directors. A contrived script, huge storyplot holes, convuluted timeline, characters who's behaviours are dictated by a random-number generator, the director's inability to decide between making a war movie or a comedy, and the list goes on and on.

I feel incredibly bad for the poor sap who had to cut the trailer for this movie. The bad trailer is simply a creation from the fact that the movie itself sucks balls. While you can sometimes make gold from nothing (my friend Midas does it), this movie is SO bad that you can't do anything with it, surprised a trailer was even able to be created. Do a Google search on "confused" and "Miracle at St. Anna" and the results (58,800) speak for themselves.

There's alot of characters that we meet in the beginning. They're mostly treated with the 'foreshadowing' sensation, meanign that we'll be seeing them later in the movie, and that they'll each individually be a contributor to a fantastic entertwining ending. Wrong. Like Biggy used to say: 'Dead wrong.' Here's a brief rundown of what's wrong with the movie:

1) The guy who gets shot in the beginning? We have ZERO idea (or maybe 1% chance idea) of who it could possibly be. After all the war-time stuff, there's only one black person still alive (surprisingly). The intro consists of one black person shooting another (naturally). So who could this mystery black person be? I'm guessing it's an investor who stumbled onto set, saw how shitty the movie was going to be, demanded his money back, and Spike Lee killed him.

2) We're showed a scene with my nigger John Leguizamo. I was so happy to see him because I thought that maybe, just maybe, this will end up being a good movie since my boy doesn't pick shit movies to be in. Evidently Spike Lee had alot of money leftover from buying cheap black actors, so he blew it all on his favorite non-White actor that actually costs money. Unlike Righteous Kill, Legume's prescene did NOT help this movie one bit. The scene with Johnny boy is fairly long and very intricate. Alot of subtext going on, signifying to the audience to dedicate a fair bit of brain space to who he is, what he's saying, and what he's doing, because it will all become relevant at the end. Nope, we see him at the beginning, and we NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!

3) The scene after is a shady white guy drinking coffee. Other than the main character, this is the ONLY person we see again later in the movie. But why we saw him this early on makes zero sense. I'm guessing Spike Lee spent too much money on KKK memberships and ran out of cash for an edit suite rental, so he couldn't cut this scene out. The last sentence makes more sense than the entire movie combined.

4) There's a really fat black guy in the movie. All his scenes are done in this extreme comedic style. There's a very stereotypical black guy in the movie, except that he looks mulatto, but his behaviour is taken straight from the KKK textbook that Spike Lee evidently enjoys reading. In fact, with all the brouhaha between Spike and Eastwood over racism this, racism that, Spike Lee essentially just made a recruitment film for the KKK. I was INCREDIBLY aghast at the sheer amount of black stereotypes that are conveyed in a horribly negative manner (even I was caught off guard by it all).

5) The battle scenes are horrible. This is the first war movie I think i've ever seen, and definietly won't be the last since it was so god damn shitty. The first battle scene consists of around 30 American (mostly black) soldiers, most of whom end up dying. Later in the movie we find out that thousands of American soldiers died in that battle. The movie continues, but I spend the next ten minutes wondering how military generals equate one black soldier = ~100 white soldiers. And then I realize, that Spike Lee simply can't make a movie worth shit.

6) There's a small village and it's inhabitants that form a good chunk of the story. They have this folktale about a mysterious force that lives in the nearby mountains, protecting the village. That's pretty much the gist of what we're told.
"What's the legend?"
"Guy in mountains protects us"
"Oh ok"
Yeah, pretty lame. It's constantly referenced to throughout the entire movie, but we have no idea wtf they're talking about. Later on there's a HUGE REVEAL that THE BIG FAT BLACK GUY is the mountain protector that the forefathers have been foreseeing!!! And then nobody cares:
"OMG! FAT BLACK GUY IS THE PROTECTOR!"
"AHHH WE FOUND HIM!"
"Anyways so last night...."

7) The name of the movie signifies that a 'Miracle' happened at a location called 'St. Anna'. Don't get your hopes up. In fact, take them out, crush them with the heel of your shoes, and dump it in the ravine like a dead hooker. Even after all that, you're still in for a huge letdown. St.Anna is simply referrenced to in a flashback where lots of people died, but one kid was able to run away. While this doesn't really fit into our definition of a miracle, it's easy to understand why Spike Lee thinks it's a miracle. It's an allusion to the ghettos, where mostly everybody dies at an early age, so to be able to run away and survive is a miracle unto itself.

8) There's ALOT of random ass flashbacks, utterly serving no purpose except for Spike Lee to showoff how much money he can waste to scare off future investors in his projects. Great job Spike!

9) One of my favorite 'WTF' moments is a scene when it starts to rain, we're showed a few characters somewhere else doing something else (at the same time), it's all bright and sunny, few more scenes all bright and sunny, and then it's suddenly raining when we cut back to the initial scene (NOT A FLASHBACK).

10) Hmmm.... what else was there? I spent so much time trying to purge all memories of the film, it's now hard to recall the horrible moments (no good ones). Oh wait, there was one good thing in the movie. One chick shows her boobs alot. I've never been happier to see a female nipple in my entire life. Each moment was like a breath of fresh air. Though i've seen onscreen nudity before, it's only dawned on me at that very moment that the nipple I was watching on the screen was about the size of my head. Only through such salacious thoughts was I able to survive watching the film.

11) Oohh, if you see the trailer you'll notice there's a babyfaced caucasian reporter-type of character. You'd think that he's an integral part of the storyline. Nope. We more or less follow him for the first few scenes, and the next time we see him is in the end for a few seconds. Zero usefulness.

12) FYI: Other than the start and the ending, the rest is ENTIRELY in the past. There are NO jumps between 'present', past, no jumping back and forth. It's moreorless 'present' (~10 minutes), past (~140 minutes), 'present' (~10 minutes), end of movie.

13) An ungodly amount of time (~1 minute) is dedicated to Germans putting up propoganda posters. It's such a short amount of time, but even then it was incredibly painful to watch. Deep powerful music, extremely dark and sinister lighting, and then we have posters which we can't even make out the imagery of because it has so much wear/tear on them. This gets worse near the end of the film when the soldiers come across the posters (first time they see them after exploring the TINY village endlessly for 48+ hours), and spend another painful minute tearing them down. Cue uplifting music, watch them as they emotionally rip down the posters, THEY EVEN TAKE THEIR KNIVES OUT AND START CUTTING THE POSTERS UP! Put the knife through my eyes plox.

14) The said village is supposedly totally surrounded by Germans, they have soliders in all the forests and blockades on all the roads. So at the end an American convoy suddenly appears to save the black soldiers, and they arrive miraculously in two jeeps, obviously from travelling on the forementioned roads. How nice of the Germans to let them by.

15) I think one of the black characters is supposed to be mentally retarded, except that Spike Lee probably found it utterly offensive to have a black mentally handicapped soldier. The KKK would have a field day! So he made the wise-choice of making him an able-minded individual. Too bad he was too lazy to take out all the mentally-handicapped references in the script though.

I'm really only scraping the surface of how bad this movie is. But fortunately for you, you now know HOW bad it could possible be, thus turning it into an enjoyable experience for yourself (ala 88 Minutes). Enjoy!

Movie prediction!

2008-09-26T20:47:00.000-04:00

Summer goes out with a bang this weekend folks.

1) Eagle Eye. Prediction = $30.7 million.
2) Miracle at St. Anna. Prediction = $14.2 million.
3) Nights in Rodanthe. Prediction = $19.3 million.

NOTE: Choke is in limited release this weekend. I will definietly forget to predict it when it goes wide.

Eagle Eye's def gonna do gangbusters. Crazy amounts of promotion, and not only is it getting the Imax treatment, it's the first film to be shown in DIGITAL IMAX!!!!!! Unfortunately, for us living in THE SAME PROVINCE AS IMAX HEADQUARTERS, there are no digital Imax projectors in all of Ontario. Yeah, makes perfect sense eh? We invent this fucking technology and don't show love. Need to send a few drivebys up in their hood. Anyways, I don't know about you, but I absolutely abhor Shia LeBeouf. Guy looks like an idiot, I wish they'd stop making movies with him, but for some reason I guess similar-looking people really love him (and I know all about how many stupid people there are on this planet). Trailer looks pretty hype though.

What trailer doesn't look hype? Let's take a look behind door number two. It's a frightening sight. Miracle at St. Anna will be this week's big flop. Absolutely horrible trailer. It had a nice middle part, but the beginning/end segments are absolutely barf inducing. And the white 'cop' guy looks like he's acting against a wall. There's also been alot of drama behind the scenes, about how Spike Lee is trying to bring black power to war flicks, against the Nazi powers of other wartime directors like Clint Eastwood. This movie needs Denzel Washionton bad.

Nights in Rodanthe will def do gangbusters too, gangbusters for a chick flick that is. Got a chick's fav leading man (Richard Gere), got a fantastic actress to play his lover (Diane Lane), save money by not hiring a writer and just let them improve and make love for 2 hours, and then let the money roll in. But they did hire a writer, which only makes the movie better. I actually sort of wanna see this, don't tell anybody or i'll kill you.

Movie Review: Righteous Kill

2008-09-25T22:54:00.000-04:00

SPOILER WARNING!!!

So I found myself at a movie theatre last night. Lots of options available, well respected films by fantastic filmmakers like Burn After Reading, and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. So what did I decide to see? Righteous Kill! Yeah, I got to the theatre a bit late, and that was the only movie where I wouldn't have missed a huge chunk.

So when I got into the actual screening room, I had missed a bit. Even though the movie was only ~3 minutes in, it felt like it was at the midpoint of the story, and i'm quite sure I missed some important information at the start.

So i'm previously on the record for thinking Righteous Kill is the type of movie that never should've been made, thus I went into the theatre with incredibly low expectations, moreorless expecting 88 Minutes: The Sequel (176 Minutes?). Wow, was I floored.

This movie is actually surprisingly quite good! Maybe 'quite good' isn't the actual level of quality that it is on. Considering how shitty I was expecting it to be, add 'quite good', it equals out to around 'decent' in the end. But yeah, who knew this movie would've been event DECENT?!??!

There's nothing really spectacular in this film. Pacino and De Niro are definietly washed up and showing it, they're more or less just in it for the money, going through their paces, but at least putting some effort into it to make it worth our while. John Leguizamo is in this movie and I swear the moment I saw him, I knew this movie wasn't going to be a piece of shit. I love Legumes!!

So the beginning (or was that the middle?) and the middle parts of the movie are 'good'. Nothing 'amazing', but again nothing exceptionally shitty, which was surprising. And oh boy do I love being surprised. It's a very solid crime/thriller kinda storyline, everything is very realistic unto it's world, nothing too different, sticks to the script and does it well.

The real gold comes at the ending. It was pretty convoluted and over-written at times, which is quite unfortunate as if it was cleaned up a bit with a few adjustments, it would've actually propelled this movie into 'very good' territory. But nonetheless, it finishes off the movie very nicely, which is a hard find nowadays.

Given that I initially thought this would be 3 thumbs down, I'm delighted to give it 1 thumb up. If you're looking to blow some money, this will be a pleasant surprise.

The News Today!

2008-09-23T20:03:00.000-04:00

1) http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/09/15/obamas-teleprompter-hits-the-trail/
Obama's best friend.

2) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hkiMxbHNH0BqgpWA2ZG6VD6wVTmAD937RO2G0
Sweet.

3) http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlDC/television/mccain_accuses_mika_of_being_in_the_tank_for_obama_94583.asp MSNBC biased?!?!? NO WAY!

4) http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1692637.ece
I read this article after eating lunch, I suggest you do the same.

5) http://www.nypost.com/seven/09162008/news/regionalnews/your_flys_unzipped_129316.htm
Great way to join the Mile High Club.

6) http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=capress-games_paralympics_basketball&prov=capress&type=lgns
The link to this artcle was "Canada trampled in basketball." But I thought they couldn't walk?

7) http://media.newsbusters.org/stories/cnns-crowley-obama-team-wanted-horrific-wall-street-headlines.html
People are stupid. To show how grounded and unbiased I am, I present to you this link. The writer has absolutely no understanding of intonation at all.

8) http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/pelosi-dems-bear-no-responsibility-for-economic-crisis-2008-09-16.html
When does Pelosi ever know what she's talking about?

9) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080916/D937OJC00.html
A highly unfortunate accident. People never value safety until it's too late.

10) http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/09/16/fiorina_palin_lacks_experience.html
Time for my favorite game again! Let's play DETECT THE BIAS!

11) http://timesonline.typepad.com/uselections/2008/09/palin-linked-el.html
Pastor-gate all over again.

12) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jVDdTXyizJSZq-zJ6D2Az16gjBiQD9387F000
In all honesty, this shows how stupid Jews are.

13) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080917/national/fedelxn_dion_plane
Green plan + old airplane = Contradiction.

14) http://www.boston.com/news/politics/politicalintelligence/2008/09/democrats_say_m_2.html
Why bother speaking to a biased media?

15) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080917/national/oddity_woman_survives_subway
I was at Finch as this was being 'wrapped up.' So glad I wasn't part of the 'hours' long delay.

16) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/500521
Stupid Adam Jabroni still caught up on using directional transfers rather than time based. Go back to the medieval ages when 16 year olds were kings.

17) http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/article/500532
Brilliant partnership between private and public. This is really how it should be done.

18) http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/09/barbra-streisan.html
Wrong. Apparently women are that stupid and you just proved it. She lists many fantastic reasons why Obama isn't fit for president. Claims to support Clinton but never bothered to raise as much money as she did for Obama.

19) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080917/canada/canada_vote_narcotics_law
She's the fucking best.

20) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080918/world/britain_politics
Fascinating that Conservatives are polling well all over the world except in America.

21) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080918/national/fedelxn_ritz_listeria_jokes
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

22) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080917/D938PL2G1.html
I'm extremely on the fence about this. If incriminating evidence is found, then that's good. But if nothing is found then it's an extreme lowpoint for the media. Tactics are extremely controversial nonetheless.

23) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/nphotos/He-Pingping-from-Inner-Mongolia-Chinas-autonomous-region-the-worlds-smallest-man-sits-underneath-Svetlana-Pankratova-from-Russia-the-Queen-of-Lon/photo/16092008/2/photo/koddities-pingping-inner-mongolia-china-s-autonomous-region-world-s.html
Cloudy skies ahead.

24) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/09/17/politics/p185733D40.DTL&type=politics
Obama's fans are already idiotically fanatical. This only makes it much harder to take them seriously. Love how the article points out incorrect statements from Republicans but not from Democrats. I sure bet THEY claim to be unbiased! Read the end comments to get a true glimpse into how amazingly stupid Obama fans are.

25) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080918/ap_on_el_pr/biden_taxes
Brilliant statement. Very ballsy, but speaks the ultimate truth.

26) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13559.html
McCain mask? HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Hope he wins now 'fo 'sho.

27) http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=washingtonstory&sid=aVPBaUbYV_qQ
And somehow, someway, the Democrats still blame the Republicans.

28) http://voices.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/09/17/obama_invokes_rush_limbaugh_in.html
How stupid is Obama? He dares to insult the most popular radio talk show host in the country.

29) http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/0908/Limbaugh_hitting_back_over_usage_in_ad_says_Obama_stoking_racism.html
...and here's the rebuttle. Rush Limbaugh calls out Obama for what he is.

30) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13558.html
Score one for Hillary!

31) http://www.wnbc.com/news/17502005/detail.html
This is how stupid consumers are.

32) http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/news/20080917/a_japan17.art.htm
Fuck Obama mania, let's talk HILLARY MANIA!

33) http://www.dcexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/YeasandNays/Homeland_Security_Sesame_Style.html
This is the scariest thing you'll see in your entire life! Dim the lights and turn up the sound!

34) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,424464,00.html
Obama gets owned by the most repulsive of all peoples.

35) http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1730890720080917
Wow people are stupid. You don't wanna fix your fucked up kids? Then I say it should be alright to kill them to save everybody time and money.

36) http://consumerist.com/5051725/cant-afford-a-soda-get-a-circuit-city-credit-card
Note that the brochure holder seems to be missing a few...

37) http://health.lifestyle.yahoo.ca/channel_health_news_details.asp?news_id=16213&news_channel_id=131&channel_id=131
People are stupid. Ontario ranks the best in Canada in terms of healthcare, and people still want to take away the health tax?

38) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/15/trolling-on-mccains-blog-is-apparently-okay/#more-3080
More tactics from the Obama camp.

39) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/16/competing-tax-plans-two-perspectives/#more-3083
The only good thing about Obama is his sensible approach to taxation. I love how on average it's still a tax cut, but he probably has the balls to adjust it to turn it into a tax increase.

40) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D939A0EG9&show_article=1
Michelle Obama just bitter (and clinging) to the fact that another chick is on the scene.

41) http://cbs13.com/local/budget.deal.reached.2.821060.html
Simply amazing what an amazing job Ah-nold is doing.

42) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122178554189155003.html
Let's hope Rush pushes this further into revealing Obama's true nature (5 headed muslim!).

43) http://www.wytv.com/news/local/28423644.html
Obama's new political spin: he's not black, so it's ok to vote for him!

44) http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/pets/dogs/articles/e/behaviour-training/dogsincanada/65/dance-with-your-dog-absolutely/1
How NOT to write an article. The incorrect usage of the term 'freestyling' is mind-boggingly confusing.

45) http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/32b85c72-859b-11dd-a1ac-0000779fd18c.html
We are now beginning to see the true damage of the Greenspan era. His placement in the history books becomes more and more questionable.

46) http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aSKSoiNbnQY0
One more thing you'll never hear of. It was Obama's decision that led to America's currect economic problems. McCain tried to avert it.

47) http://www.rollcall.com/features/Guide-to-Congress_2008/guide/28506-1.html?type=printer_friendly
Who's out of touch now?

48) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080922/entertainment/music_rock_hall_nominees
Which rappers would qualify for Rock Hall of Fame? What song would they qualify for? If you know the answer to both, let's go on a date.

49) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080916/n_technology_reuters/net_internet_book_life_dc_1
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

50) http://www.myfoxprovidence.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7486265&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.3.1
I'm gonna be rich!!!

51) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080923/D93C985O0.html
Goes to show what a great decision maker Obama will be.

52) http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/obama-on-bidens.html
This gets better and better.

53) http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0908/Biden_No_coal_plants_here_in_America.html?showall
Which side is Biden on?

54) http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view/2008_09_23_UMass_chaplain_fails_in_effort_to_boost_Barack_Obama_s_chances/
Religion and education all in the same bed.

55) http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/09/22/national/w131939D34.DTL&type=politics
Watch for the Democrats to be spending taxpayer's money like mad for their own interests this election season.

56) http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/1178184,obamarally092208.article
Oba-mania slowing down?

57) http://www.washtimes.com/news/2008/sep/23/an-electoral-college-doomsday/
Great read! If Pelosi DOES become the acting president, previous history has shown that she's entirely willing to cheat to get her candidate elected.

58) http://www.thestar.com/Sports/Hockey/article/504079
Only Toronto would be lame enough to call a win a strong start. Look for them to lose as usual later.

59) http://www.thestar.com/article/501838
Unite the left you say? Hmm.... where have we heard this before? (Answer: from me)

Movie results!

2008-09-22T20:54:00.000-04:00

Pretty fucked up weekend. And not for my stunningly accurate predictions.

1) Ghost Town. Prediction = $15.8 million. Result = $5.2 million.
2) Igor. Prediction = $21.4 million. Result = $8.0 million.
3) Lakeview Terrace. Prediction = $24.7 million. Result = $15.6 million.
4) My Best Friend's Girl. Prediction = $19.2 million. Result = $8.3 million.
5) The Duchess. Prediction = $14.2 million. Result = $203,000.

So yeah, The Duchess DID get a limited release, so it'll be pretty exciting to see how it does in it's wide release since it had a stunning $29,000/theatre intake. That's alot. In comparison, this weekend's box office leader, Lakeview Terrance, had an intake of $6,331/theatre. Keira Knightley 5x more money making power vs. Whacko Jacko? Time will tell.

In general this was another fantastically lacklustre weekend. My brain is still somewhat unable to process why people don't like seeing movies this season. Yeah alot of dreck is out there, but more or less people love dreck!

Ghost Town did fairly poorly. Looks like it'll flop and unable to recoup it's $20 million budget.

Igor did surprisingly badly as well. Very interesting concept, I actually am very interested in seeing it. But most people are not as smart as me, and seems like they stayed away from it in droves. Unlikely to recoup it's $30 million budget.

Lakeview Terrance is apparently much better than I originally thought. It's getting surprisingly decent reviews, especially for it's social commentary which sounds intriguing to say the least. I'm actually now looking forward to seeing this.

My Best Friend's Girl I think did mediocrely. Low intake, but it's a cheap $20 million movie, it'll do fine, with the unfortunate side effect of making Dane Cook a reasonable safe bet as a movie star :(

Movie prediction!

2008-09-19T19:47:00.003-04:00

To help kick off the awards season, we have the potentially best movie of the year coming out today.

1) Ghost Town. Prediction = $15.8 million.
2) Igor. Prediction = $21.4 million.
3) Lakeview Terrace. Prediction = $24.7 million.
4) My Best Friend's Girl. Prediction = $19.2 million.
5) The Duchess. Prediction = $14.2 million.

NOTE: Appaloosa is in limited release here in Toronto, goes into wide release Oct.3. Hopefully I'll remember to predict it's intake (probs not).

Ghost Town looks like a decent little flick. Nothing spectacular, nothing exceptionally horrible. Will bring in a meagre haul for a comedy.

Igor will likely do gangbusters. Fantastic concept, looks like a great movie for kids and adults alike. I really hope this one does well.

So now we come to the most critically acclaimed release this year: LAKEVIEW TERRACE!!! You've been seeing horrible trailer in theatres for half a year now, now you can see this monstrosity of itself! Horribly stupid concept, can't believe Whacko Jacko agreed to be in this. Despite all it's stupidity, it's unfortunately bound to do well simply due to Jack Bauer himself. Hopefully it'll die fast though so studios don't get any more stupid ideas like this one.

My Best Friend's Girl is another comedy with the 'how the fuck is he so popular' Dane Cook. Apparently girls DO like ugly, non-funny guys, so they'll be swarming the theatres for this one. Unfortunately it'll do very well, and unfortunately we'll be stuck with more Dane Cook movies in the future.

The Duchess has a really messed up release schedule. Seems like it'll only get a limited release, no idea whether a wide release will happen on a later date. Anyways, I saw this movie last night, very interesting film, still pretty mixed about it. My recommendations for the weekend would be either this or Igor.

The News Today

2008-09-18T21:53:00.000-04:00

1) http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/03/us-weekly-cover-blasts-sarah-palin-but-for-the-obamas-its-a-cake-walk
Media bias? NO WAY, NO SUCH THING!! +1 example that the media is stupid. Duh no sex ed leads to preggy teens!

2) http://canadianpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5jOjnzLpeTFY4fkCLDlir84JWi93A
Jonny boy's got the balls to speak the truth. Prediction = critics wildly pan his next flick.

3) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080904/usa/us_vote
An impressive, balanced piece of reporting for once. Love how Obama's campaign complains about the focus on character attacks over platform ideas. The only platform Obama has is one with big ass pillars up his ass.

4) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13143.html
Nice to see at least one reporter 'fessing up.

5) http://wcbstv.com/campaign08/rudy.giuliani.rnc.2.809396.html
Sums up Obama's fallacies nicely.

6) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13129.html
Women worldwide should be outraged. Josephine Baker is turning in her grave.

7) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080904/D92VIUS02.html
How stupid are people? How about a $350 MILLION high school for 3000 students?? Check the article for yearly maintenance costs.

8) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080904/D92VVV4G1.html
More lies from the Democrat laugh factory. Biden himself claims all sexist Palin remarks are from the Right-wing news media. Gee, that makes sense right? Obama's a heartbeat away from losing a VP.

9) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/23/AR2008082302200.html
Guaranteed this will be the first and last time you ever hear of this.

10) http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=28334
Awesome read. Scroll down for a comment by King Diddy himself.

11) http://timeswatch.org/articles/2008/20080828124906.aspx
Why is Obama ashamed of his middle name? Oh right, BECAUSE HE'S MUSLIM!

12) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080904/national/fedelxn_ndp
So he's going to berade May based on her gender and make blatant lies to secure votes? Contrary to what he thinks, NDP is in the worst position this election.

13) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080904/world/jackson_hospitalized
Definietly poisoned by Obama.......'s LIES

14) http://drudgereport.com/flash3os.htm
Proof that Oprah's an idiot, not to say anything about the millions of stupid women who follow her religulously. Check out this juicy quote: "I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates." Who the FUCK does she think she's fooling?

15) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080905164053.kt1koqqw&show_article=1
Obama is obs being used as a token and people are stupid enoguh to fall for it.

16) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080904/n_odds_reuters/odd_train_dc
We need to do the same to TTC drivers.

17) http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=5736716&page=1
Is Oprah biased? Is Obama white? Incase you're an idiot, the answer is yes to both. Need to realize the truth that Obama would be nothing if he never showed up on Oprah's shitshow.

18) http://washingtontimes.com/news/2008/sep/07/obama-verbal-slip-fuels-his-critics
THE TRUTH REVEALED!

19) http://www.thestar.com/FederalElection/article/494100
McGuinty's implicit thanks to Harper for infrastructure funding. The fact that he can openly defy Dion shows his sheer power within the provincial Liberals.

20) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080908/national/fedelxn_debate_greens
Hilarious. If parties want to drop from the debate then fuck 'em.

21) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080909/sports/paralympics2008
Prediction = China has normal athletes competing.

22) http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/09/09/2360240.htm?section=world
Hmm...... why was Kenya included in this poll? Hmm.....

23) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080910/usa/us_vote
Sexist-bama at it again.

24) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080910/koddities/odd_us23
My role model.

25) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080910/sports/sktg_buttle_retires
WTF?!?!? Way to let Canada down you fucking loser. How much sport funding money did you rob from the Vancouver Games? We should really fucking stone him.

26) http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0908/CBS_takes_down_McCain_webad_suggests_its_misleading.html?showall
Apparently CBS doesn't endorse Obama. Who knew?

27)
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0908/Obama_knocks_press_on_madeup_controversy.html
Contradic-bama at it again. Talks about how the media needs to focus on the issues and debates, meanwhile he turns down McCain's offer at additional debates.

28) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D933CKDG1&show_article=1
Holla! Black people need to wake up.

29) http://wcbstv.com/politics/paterson.mccain.palin.2.813646.html
Fake black people need to open their eyes and realize they ain't black!

30) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080910061509.g9godas8&show_article=1
How magical was the Olympics? The stadium had a baby!

31) http://www.salon.com/opinion/paglia/2008/09/10/palin/index.html
Fantastic read. I fucking love Paglia, fantastic author, another fantastic piece of writing from her. Women should be ashamed of the years of progress they are squandering.

32) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080910/business/interior_oil_trysts
Lol, awesome.

33) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7609872.stm
Obama doesn't send his OWN MOTHER money!!
And apparently everybody in Kenya can afford solar panels.

34) http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/09/biden-hillary-a.html
Democrats realizing their mistake.

35) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080912/D9352EAG0.html
OJ is fucked. All-white jury, and they think he's guilty of his wife's murder, but apparently that's a null issue. Coughbiasedjudgecough.

36) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/497874
As much as I believe in journalistic freedom, I agree with this judgement. Wong definietly crossed the line.

37)
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/09/12/2008-09-12_robert_de_niro_al_pacino_mum_on_francis_.html
Washed up indeed.

38) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080912/national/sask_fire
Stupid smokers.

39)
http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN1145982120080912?feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=22&sp=true
Because models are man enough to admit they're mixed, unlike other people...

40) http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/09/12/0912salazar.html
Finally the wheels on population control start to turn.

41) http://www.nypost.com/seven/09152008/postopinion/opedcolumnists/obama_tried_to_stall_gis_iraq_withdrawal_129150.htm Two face-bama at it again. Bet you won't hear of this anywhere else.

42) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080916/n_entertain_reuters/entertainment_simpson_col Definietly paid off.

43) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080915/entertainment/film_megan_fox
Sweet

Movie review: TIFF EDITION!!!!!!

2008-09-17T20:10:00.000-04:00

Like many bygone years, TIFF has come and gone. Unlike those bygone years, I've decided to take the big leap and participate in the festivities. And in doing so, I got a vague hazy look at what the film festival is like versus from what I've always imagined it to be... and it's an ugly thing. What used to arguably be the prime film festival in the entire world has somehow degraded into a blatant also-ran.

To be frank, I didn't actually go and see any of the films. Or moreso, maybe this is the first bone for me to pick on, they were too rediculously expensive. Alot of the media are commenting on preferential treatment that donors are getting versus the normal public. To them I give a big 'fuck you'. I applaud TIFF's treatment of donors (from my limited understanding). Anything that convinces more people to donate to TIFF so that it can complete it's Lightbox building is commendable. I'd bet $40 bucks that the same media complaining about the treatment would also be complaining about how embarassing a construction delay would be. How about them apples? Look at the bigger fucking picture for once.

Why would I be $40? 'Cause that's what the high-end tickets cost. To what you may ask? To a film that will be in theatres the week after (as in the case of Burn After Reading). Yes, the series of unfortunate events that is this year's TIFF is that it has a shocking lack of key premieres and celebrity appearances. I grew up reading the Toronto Star, and everyday of the festival there'd be entire pages upon pages devoted to glitzy/glamorous photos and commentary on riveting world premieres. This year we got simple text paragraphs of people who showed up, photographs of the people who weren't even here, and all movie commentary usually included the phrase "premiered elsewhere at the".

T.I.F.F. used to be T.H.E. film festival in the world, so what happened? It's undoubtedly that E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y. will be showing up once the Lightbox is complete, so maybe they're just spreading their wings elsewhere in the meantime? Or perhaps is it something more sinister?

Though I have been on Allah's green earth for only a short amount of time (came here three years ago from Jupiter), this is the first year that corporate sponsorship was front and centre with TIFF. There were corporate ads gallore at every TIFF office, Yonge/Dundas square was essentially Bell Square, the only credit card they accepted was Visa (don't get me started), and they sold naming rights to the People's Choice Award (don't get me started).

Screw that, i'll get started.

Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE supporter of corporate sponsorships, but I believe that they all have their proper time and place. Naming rights for a public school is a bad thing. To subtly brainwash young people is horrible. But inevitably they'll be buying brand name products for lunch or at the vending machine, even 'No Name' is a brand name, so it's inescapable. So we might as well make a dime off it if we can and take in bids for food sources. I'm very a-ok with TIFF selling off naming rights to their Lightbox building. Yeah, it'd of course be better without, but 'Bell Lightbox' does have a reasonable amount of zing still to it, and given the amount of money that they are frontin', it's a win-win situation.

But oh my god, selling naming rights to the FUCKING AWARDS?!?! That's like the top movie prize being called the Oscar Meyer Awards. Fucking rediculous. And only accepting Visa? That does absolutely nothing to help break down the elitist reputation of the festival.

I'll try to swing back to topic.

So yeah, TIFF (in years goneby) had a great reputation for nicely balancing the top elite films of the world with the wonderfully folksy indie Canadian simple low budget independent fare, and giving them both equal footing. Lately it's elitist reputation has slowly been creeping up, but people have more or less been accepting of it since it was also increasingly stomping all over Cannes as the top festival in the world.

This year, possibly to combat that elitist reputation, TIFF opened it's arms for a week plus long festival in the heart of Yonge/Dundas Square. While it had some great hits and great intentions, the misses are huge embarassments for an allegedly world class city like Toronto. The public/free celebrations consisted of mostly live music and documentaries, and one sham of a spectacle.

Let me deal with the sham first. It was a dunk off with an appearance by LeBron James. The event started an HOUR late. People had no idea where the event was. They had an official NBA net in a truck, but they had no idea how to get it out of the truck. I grimaced as I watched a ton of TIFF staff, and even the Public Events Director himself, try to lift the net out of the truck to no avail. In lieu of that, they used this kiddy basketball net. The MCs were local, they were pretty cool. They picked people from the crowd to be judges, that was cool. Not cool was the wigger that they picked out, as I grimaced more as he pretended to be black for another hour, with all of the world's audience at his feet. The dunk off was alright. LeBron James was obviously late, so they obviously were trying to fill in time. Apparently NOBODY realized that the documentary LeBron was appearing in was premiering at the same time as the dunk off, thus the initial delay, and thus his lateness. So LeBron eventually shows up, and he's the angriest motherfucker ever, his grimace is ten times more worse than mine. The crowds are gigantic, he can barely move with all the media and horrible crowd management in place. He says a few words, makes a donation to a charity, then dons this amazing fake smile for a photograph with some under-priveleged children. What a fucking travesty.

The documentaries that screened were absolutely excellent. Fantastic range of subject matter, and each doc was a top pick in it's field. One problem is that the first doc had a horrible sound mix, S's and C's were ear piercingly loud... for the entire program. Second problem is that one of the docs was in anamorphic format. So when you watch an anamorphic video, you're supposed to put on letterboxing when viewing on a 4:3 monitor. Apparently NOBODY at TIFF has basic fundamental knowledge of video, and the entire doc was screened with a vertical stretch. Incredibly distracting for such a great documentary. Needless to say, also incredibly embarassing when a film festival doesn't even understand film.

The live music acts were equally fantastic. Great variety. I only didn't enjoy one act, but that's simply because they really were not my thing, which is alright since the crowd still loved them. But variety is the spice of life, so i'm glad they were chosen. What i'm not happy about is again the horrible sound mix. Every single performance had the performers signalling to the sound crew to fix various sound issues. The biggest travesty was in the final performance from The Midway State. Now of course I could be wrong, maybe that's HOW they wanted to sound... but I doubt it. They was singlehandedly THE best act i've ever seen on Yonge/Dundas Square Stage, and i've seen a few much more famous/popular acts. Too bad their sound mix was set to random. The guitar was excrutiatingly loud and vocals were non-existent. It was easily apparent that they weren't lip synching since you could hear them screaming into their mics, but nothing coming out of the speakers. Utterly embarassing for a final act. The crowd management was utter shit as well. The final day was only musical performances, so it naturally made no sense to have chairs, but it made sense of have crowd barriers. Of course, TIFF in their third-world way of thinking didn't setup any chairs, but they also didn't have any crowd barriers. So as the Stage has steps leading up to it at the front, people were standing on the steps, thus blocking the view of everybody behind them (essentially people at front row were on the steps). Yes, people are stupid, so we need barriers to save them from themselves.

But probably the most embarassing thing of all was the stage itself. As we were unfortuantely receiving heavy rainfall during the festival, it was nice that the stage had an overhanging canvas to protect it from the rain. But due to the heavy rain, TIFF poorly predicted low turnout and cancelled a few events at last minute (more on this later). Poorly predicted because huge amounts of people still came out for other rainy performances. The reasoning is probably moreso due to the fact that the fucking overhanging canvas is leaky. Anytime it rained, you could plainly see from 30+ feet away huge drops coming down from it and landing on the stage. The performers who did perform during the rain were often wiping down their equipment, using rags that got VISIBLY (from 30+ feet away) soaking wet. So not only do visitors now think shit of TIFF, the performers themselves know how crappy the Yonge/Dundas stage is, defineitly reducing their chances of a repeat performance (albeit in the rain). Utterly embarassing all around.

So in reference to my earlier point about event cancellations, you'd think that if an event was cancelled the staff would know. Nope. As an event time neared and the stage laid empty, all the volunteers/staff knew was "I dunno", "maybe", "I don't think so". "probably not", or my fucking favorite "check the pamphlet". Yes, they had a little pamphlet with all the events listed. Very nice thoughtful quick reference guide. Too bad it didn't sync up with the webpage.

The TIFF webpage is a travestical embarassment all unto itself. Go to it now and you can probably still see how horrible it is. It's didn't become truely operational until a day before the festival started, once the festival did start many pages still said "come back once the festival starts for more information!". Utterly embarassing and half-assed. The webpage for the Yonge/Dundas events looked like it was organized by someone with ADD. Information sprawled all over the page with minimal design or accessibility considerations taken into play. And for one event, the start time differed from what was on the pamphlet, which leads me into my next concern (fine: complaint)..

...the customer service... was horrible. I only called into the TIFF customer service line once, and it was such a bad experience that I never did it again despite my many questions. So I call in, and someone picks up surprisingly fast! I'm delighted to reach a rep so quickly. So the rep picked up.... and that's it. At least I think the rep picked up, I heard taht 'pick up' noise. I wait to hear something. I hear nothing. About 5 seconds has elapsed (seems much longer when you're reading). So I say "Hello?"
REP: "How can I help you?" (in that most-hated bitchy gay voice. Top companies really need to not hire bitchy gay people. Fun gay people are a-ok, not the bitchy ones.
ME: "Oh hi, I..."
REP: (interrupting me) "Hello!" (bitchy snarky tone)
ME: "Yeah hi. I had a question about the performance this afternoon" (pause, waiting for ya know, that natural thing that humans do, where they give intermittent feedback that they're listening)
(insert 5 second long pause. I don't even hear breathing)
ME: "Hello?"
REP: "Well!?" (very bitchy snarky tone)
ME: "Oh, didn't know you were there (ya I actually said that). The pamphlet says the concert is at 6 PM, but the website says it's at 5:30 PM, do you know which time it is?
REP: "Well check on the website"
ME: "Yeah I did, the website says 5:30 PM, but the pamphlet says 6 PM"
REP: "Oh, well the website is always right"
ME: "Are you sure? Can you confirm this with your manager or something?"
REP: "What does the pamphlet say?"
ME: "6 PM" (is this fag paying attention? his bitchy tone is making my ears bleed)
REP: "Oh, well go by what the pamphlet says"
ME: "Are you sure?"
REP: "Yes, is there anything else I can help you with?"
ME: "Nope, thanks" (Hang up. Then I yelled FUCK YOU!)
That's a customer experience i'd expect from Dell on trying to replace a keyboard, NOT from a world class film festival from a world class city. Fucking Zimbabwe probably provides better customer service during election season.

Unlike many of my other ramblings, I've ran into quite a few out of country visitors who think the same (Canadians are too nice to publicly voice their opinions). One girl was astonished at the prices for movies that were coming out very shortly. Another had a similar horrible experience trying to buy tickets, only in the end to not being able to due to the Visa-only credit card restriction (she had to go get cash from the ATM).

Hopefully this all was just a blip in TIFF's long standing history in film. Given next year's prescene of the Bell Lightbox, i'm more than happy if all the bad stuff happened this year rather than next year. TIFF has alot of ground to recover and alot of corporate sponsors riding on it's back. Hopefully it can improve where it can (a.k.a. customer service) and continue it's progress in breaking new ground (a.k.a. free events). We shall see in one year whether this was all for naught.

Movie results!

2008-09-16T21:41:00.000-04:00

People are frustratingly stupid.

1) Burn After Reading. Prediction = $23.8 million. Result = $19.1 million.
2) Righteous Kill. Prediction = $9.2 million. Result = $16.3 million.
3) Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys. Prediction = $11.3 million. Result = $17.4 million.
4) The Women. Prediction = $15.8 million. $10.1 million.

Burn After Reading had a seemingly low intake, but remember this is an arthouse / indie flick. People under 60 are really into these sorta films, and people over 60 are dying off quick these days, so it did stunningly well for such a film, especially in these desperate times. Considering it's meagre budget of $37 million, it will do fantastically well during it's run (not to say anything about the Oscars though).

So why are people so stupid? Apparently stupid enough to give a P.O.S. film like Righteous Kill $16.3 million of their hard earned money. Blatant attempt at a cash grab, and people fell for it hook-line-and-sinker. I've read tons of message board posts and conversations elsewhere that all went like:
"Oh, have you heard of that new movie with De Niro and Alpa Chino?"
"No, but weren't they in some other movie before? Heat?"
"Yeah, I think it was Heat. Did you see it?"
"No, did you?"
"No, but I heard it was awesome."
"Yeah, me too, therefor this new movie must be awesome as well!"
"LET'S GO SPEND $16.3 MILLION AND SEE IT!"
Un-fucking-believable. Congraduations people. We just gave a huge one more reason for the Hollywood system to be pumping out more shit like this. Next up: Martin Scorsese, Carrot Top, and Chris Tucker.

Tyler Perry did very well, as I should've realized. No surprises here.

The Women did extremely well. Yeah, $10 million is peanuts, but the movie only cost $16 million to make, so anything after next week is pure profit, and chicks ain't going no where fast.

Still can't believe how many people saw Righteous Kill.

Movie prediction!

2008-09-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

Awards season officially begins now. Hopefully Hollywood's horrible box office haul stops now as well.

1) Burn After Reading. Prediction = $23.8 million.
2) Righteous Kill. Prediction = $9.2 million.
3) Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys. Prediction = $11.3 million.
4) The Women. Prediction = $15.8 million.

Burn After Reading is going to be very interesting. Extremely mixed reviews, some heralding it as the next generation of comedy, others calling it a bad Tarantino-style homage. But it has an AAA-list cast, especially for Brad Pitt.

Righteous Kill is the most blatant attempt at a cash grab I have ever seen. Take two of the most washed-up actors in film history, put them together in a blatant attempt at creating another cinematic historical event ala Heat, and hope you recoup your production budget in the first week 'cause that'll all the time you'll be getting. Horrible trailer, horrible buzz, and frankly actors who really should go and retire. Oh Pacino/De Niro, how far you've fallen :(

Tyler Perry's new flick is guaranteed to do gangbusters. This is his yearly release. Probably won't make alot over a weekend, but likely to be very consistent in it's revenue. Guaranteed money maker here folks.

The Women is another oddball. Total chick flick, feels like a great time to release a chick flick (Fall and all), and an interesting B-list cast lineup. Looking forward to seeing how well this does too.

Comic of the day

2008-09-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

Who's really at fault?

2008-09-09T20:02:00.000-04:00

So I was at Union Station a couple days ago. Over in the U.S. it's completely plastered with ads highlighting the A Channel's new television lineup (big kudos btw). There were two ancient (read: old) caucasian (somehow feel that's important) grannies walking through and looking at the ads.

ANCIENT GRANNIE #1: What is the A Channel?

ANCIENT GRANNIE #2: I don't know.

ANCIENT GRANNIE #1: Is it a porn channel?

ANCIENT GRANNIE #2: Don't go there! Don't go there!

I swear, verbatim, that's exactly what they said. I was very close to bursting out laughing, so I ran off to the arcade and played some House of the Dead 2. But then it got me thinking (dangerous I know), how stupid do these ancient people have to be? Like, I sometimes wished that America's Next Top Model was a porno (not now though 'cause of the tranny.... or do I?), but these ads weren't even graphic at all. So how does an ancient person connect a stylistic advertisement with pornography? I geniuinely have no idea (and trust me, I know my porn). Other than perhaps... connecting broadcast media to the younger generation? And of course, all old people think young people are evil. What else is evil? PORNOGRAPHY! (to them). Therefor, broadcast media IS pornography. Old people logic at best (and wishful thinking).

Now I started taking my thinking a step further. If these two old grannies automatically assumed a conventional television broadcast station contains pornography, what else might they think? What other assumptions would they make? Lemme make a list for you. They'd be the type to:

- over-react to any crime story they hear about in the news (no bingo tonight! there's a shooting in a nearby town)

- refuse to live in perceived crime-ridden areas like Jane/Finch (oh wait, it IS crime-ridden)

- fall for financial scams (as they rightfully deserve)

Now on the surface it all seems irrelevant. If some old people want to be scared or something, or be more gullible, so be it. But we need to remind ourselves one of simple fact. Who runs this fucking world? OLD PEOPLE!

So yes, the same people who are crime-news-story-obsessed, the same people that are OCD about their real estate value, and the same people that get scammed on a regular basis, are the same people who are our mayors, premiers, prime ministers, presidents, and world leaders.

It's fascinating how the ever-lasting urban mythological logic is that the younger generation is always this 'horrible scourge that makes ebola jealous'. Every single ancient generation thinks this, and it's been occuring since the dawn of time. But let's turn this on it's head for a moment. With this logic, then every successive generation is worse than the one before. So using incorrect religious logic as our constant, the human race began approximately in 4000 BC when God crapped out Adam and Eve. There for 4000 BC + 2008 AD = 6008 human years that have gone by. The conventional logic is that a generation if 30 years (realistically much much lower since people died like rabies back in the early days). Therefor: 6008 / 30 = ~200 generations. So by old people's logic, we are 200 steps BELOW what our initial fore-parents (Adam/Eve) used to be.

Now in the religious context, this is entirely true. The latest fictional stories say that God created Adam in the likeness of himself. Thus Adam would've been God's illegitimate twin brother. Now in 2008, take a look around you. Do we look like twins? No! There are currently 200 different varieties of the homosapien walking on this planet. Thus, old people's logic holds up, we are successively getting worser as a society.

Thank god religion's a piece of crap.

So throwing the above theory aside, we'll take a different perspective. Each generation is a successive IMPROVEMENT of the last. As an example, in the mid 1950's, everybody predicted there'd be flying cars by the year 2000. Of course that never happened and thank goodness for that. Do you really trust the guy next door in a flying car? Do you really think everybody would stay in their own dedicated 3-dimensional airspace? Hell's no. If we had flying cars, we'd all be dead. Now let's examine this. In the 1950's, who was predicting that we'd have flying cars? Old people writing science fiction novels. Now, the children of that year knew how pompous an idea flying cars were. So while the old people set out to realize a future of flying cars, the young people plotted to do otherwise. The young people started to create extremely inefficient vehicles, makes more roads than existed people, and eliminate all funding for public transportation. Thus we now have the magnificent life we have today. No airborne collisions, no bodies (or wreckage) randomly hitting you from the sky, just wonderful peace and quiet within our smog congested cities. But now the younger generation sees to *IMPROVE* on this, by fighting for hydrogen fuel technologies, green land over asphalt, and scores of funding for public transportation.

You see? It's a cylical generational improvement over the last. Old people in fact should be thanking us for all the fixes we'll be making to their horrible mistakes. Too bad they're too busy fantasizing about television pornography to do so.

Movie review!

2008-09-08T20:06:00.000-04:00

Much like this year's TIFF, this weekend's box office is pretty lacklustre.

1) Bangkok Dangerous. I predicted $21.7 million. It had a piss poor haul of $7.8 million.

Nicholas Cage really needs to stop doing action movies... unless they're backed by Disney. With a budget of $45 million, one may think this is be an extravagant flop. That is until you look at last week's Babylon A.D. This week it had a stunning haul of $4.0 million, bringing it's total to a fantastic $17.2 million... on a $70 million budget. Oh to have the free spending ways of Hollywood.

Confession of the day

2008-09-07T01:37:00.002-04:00

I just had the most amazing day.

I've always promised myself I wouldn't use this blog as those stupid "new post: i ate chicken for lunch, [/end post]" things, but today was so endlessly fascinating. At this very moment I have copious amounts of adrenaline pounding through my veins. It's incredibly late, I should be in bed. My body is telling me thati 'm tired, my veins are speaking otherwise (finally they speak up, I was starting to think they were dead). One way or another I know i'll be sleeping like a baby.

So this fantastic day kicked off mid morning. I attended a taping of 'The Hour', who's guest host was the king of the world himself: James Cameron. I was quite surprised at Strombo's interviewing skills. He's endlessly charming and happily knocks down any awkward walls in his way. James seemed a bit canned, but whatevs, it's James mother-fucking Cameron. Spoke a bit on Avatar, nothing new, but to hear it from the real Jesus' mouth (as opposed to the mixed-wannabe-Jesus) was incredible.

Day continued to Yonge/Dundas Square where the real fun start to happen. All throughout my life, i'm very able to predict how things will end up happening. One such thing is through coincidences or key moments. Example: if something horrible happens in the morning, then that freaks me the shit out because it means i'll usually end up having a bad day (whether the egg laid the chicken is a whole nother debate).

So I arrived at Yonge/Dundas, and I was friggin starving. About to settle for a hotdog, I saw a bunch of random people eating pizza. 'Lo and behold, Pizza Nova (TM) was handing out free slices in YDS! SCORE! Limit of one, I blissfully ignored that and ended up with 4 in my belly ~20 minutes later. But then I started to get thirsty. About to settle for a drink from a hotdog cart, I saw a bunch of random people drinking pop cans. 'Lo and behold, Dole (TM) was handing out free pop cans of their carbonated fruit juice. Limit of one, I blissfully ignore that and ended up with 3. Two went into my shirt pocket, one went straight into my belly.

The main attraction at YDS was a slam dunk competition being put on by TIFF. Mediocre event, but the real interesting thing was a random encounter with my two most hated type of people.
A) Smart ass huge ego nerd. This guy was in front of me, had a passive-type of girlfriend. He kept rambling random utterly innane/incorrect comments like... god I can't remember any, but I knew he had one of my most hated personality-types. And then there was...
B) Over-assertive cocky father. And what type of kids do these fathers have? Nerdy insecure ones. Case in point. Over-assertive cocky father was here, typically married to a passive mother (who was also in attendance), and had a nerdy insecure son with them (glasses, pale skin, high pitch voice, the entire package). Again, the father said random stupid shit like "you should wave your hand so that they'll give you a prize".... when the kid is already waving their hand. Or creating impossibly false scenarios such as "i'll get the celebrities to play basketball with you later". Or my favorite: incessant yelling at people who are blocking his view, which is impossible to avoid in any crowd regardless of size. If someone's blocking your view, too fucking bad.

As much as I hate these personality types, I find them endlessly fascinating to watch and observe. The dynamic between ego boyfriend and passive girlfriend was fascinating. The dynamic between cocky father and insecure son was fist-clenching, but interesting nonetheless. Not only are people stupid, they can atleast amuse me while they're still alive.

After the YDS event, I went uptown a bit to kill time at the library. Naturally I started to get hungry again, and went to a nearby Manchu Wok. I love Manchu Wok, and I also have a SPC card which is a double bonus. But again, a wonderful coincidence happens. As I get there, I see them packing up. Sadness kicks in. I approach, and start reading the menu for kicks. So then the cashier randomly asks "hey buddy, are you hungry?". Immediately my spider-deal-sense kicks in. DING DING DING! Feigning nonchalance I suavely reply "I don't know, why?", "I'll cut you a deal". DING DING DING! So I basically end up with the most expensive combos at half the price. I happily eat my meal. I get thirsty, so I consume one of the sodas I had in my jacket pocket (happy coincidence again!).

There's an excellent ice cream store on College, and I have alot of time to kill. So I head back downtown, and swing by the store. Grab my delcious ice cream, and since I have time to kill, I decide to keep taking the College streetcar westbound to High Park station. So I get onto it, start eating my ice cream, finish, and watch the scenery passby. What's that? Bus driver calls out last stop. Turns out the streetcar *STOPS* in High Park, doesn't go into High Park station. Bad news? Not at all! I've been wanting to check out High Park for the longest time, and sine I had time to kill, this is just another happy coincidence. So I stroll through High Park, and eventually make it to my original intended destination for the evening: The Junction Arts Festival.

This Festival is absolutely amazing. It's sort of really what the Kensington Pedestrian Sundays 'want' to be, but are too politicized to actually 'be it'. It's just pure street market, with a huge dash of art. Randomness seems to be the key theme, where at any moment a street performance can strike up. Walking down the street you may thing everything's dead. Come back later, and a performance is in full swing. Random is awesome. But all this walking is making me thirsty. Thus I drink the 3rd and final soda in my jacket pocket, perfectly setting me up for the main attraction of the entire day.

David Usher.

He had a free concert at the Festival that evening. My 3rd time seeing him, but better yet my 3rd time seeing him free (for those that can't do math, I thus saw him 3 times where each time it was for free). Great performance, great audience interaction, great encore (4 songs!). Only downside is the fucking bastard still doesn't do 'Alone in the Universe'. He did it the first time I saw him, and it's incredible to hear 99% of audience sing-a-long word for word. Sure you can do songs that your hardcore fans know, but only a fool would turn down a song that everyday can follow along to. Or maybe a magnificent fool at that. Nonetheless t'was a fantastic performance, D.U. now swinging 3 for 3.

Now another big part of this day was something sociological. I immensely enjoy analyzing people, their traits, flaws, personalities, patterns, endlessly fascinate me. Professional career in philosophy and/or psychology was an extremely close second. I also immensely enjoy social experiments, whether it be in real life or on paper. So today I decided to do an experiment on myself. I spent the entire day alone! I do have a usual cast of characters I could've called out for any moment of the day, but decided to spend it alone instead to see how it would turn out. I was quite caught off guard by how enjoyable it was and the freedom that being able to make my own decisions and follow through on them was. Incredibly empowering.

However, it also reminded me that I do not know of one single individual who would've enjoyed spending the day with me through all the events, with no other obligations to follow through on. It serves as another reminder of how truly lonely I am.

Movie prediction!

2008-09-05T20:09:00.000-04:00

The glut of movies in recent weeks has obviously had an effect on this week's batch of movies:

1) Bangkok Dangerous. Predicion = $21.7 million.

Yeah, slow weekend 'fo 'sho. More love for Nicky-boy! This flick has some pretty bad buzz, someone close to the production really started to hate what it was becoming, probs the writer or something. Seeing that it's the only new flick, it should therefor amass all of the weekend box office revenues unto itself! Ya ya... wishful thinking...

Spot The Bias!

2008-09-04T20:01:00.000-04:00

We're going to play a little game today kiddies, I call it Spot The Bias! On today's show we have one infamous guest and two case studies. The guest is none other than Time Magazine. Once a solid source of news information, in recent years it has become the laughing stock of crediblity, employed as the mouthpiece for whatever the current political climate is.

Back in the good 'ole 9/11 days, it became the mouthpiece of the American government, brimming chock full of heart-melting (aka: warming) stories to instill pride in white America (and fear into the chocolate brownies) while keeping civil dissent to an absolute minimum. Now in these chaotic times, it's shifted gears in tune to the political climate to become a mouthpiece of the Democratic Party. As a green-hearted liberal, i'm as left wing as you get, but they're coverage is absolutely rediculous. A case study in the media's bias for Obama? Take a look at these two images:

Exhibit A:

Ok, now let's move onto Exhibit B:

Yes, two photos of the presidential candidates in the American election. Obama's photo is from the Sept.1 cover while McCain's is from the Sept.8 cover (like most magazines, they come from the future). On their own, they're both absolutely beautiful photos, but when put side by side, some differences can't help but be noticed, and therein lies the problem.

Let's look at the Obama photo. It's publicized first, so all of Time Magazine's readers will see this photo first. The lighting style is a bit reminiscent of the glow of a candle, the way it softly envelops the face but quickly fades out towards the back. The lighting is plainly done from the front, which helps prevent the prescence of stark shadows on his face. This is extremely flattering as shadows are naturally connotated with evil. There's the slightest twinkle of eye light in his eyes, a very nice touch used to convey wisdom and subtley allude to gentle power. Does this photography style look similar to you? No? Lemme jog your memory a bit:

Does that fellow look familiar to you? That's Obama's distant grandfather Jesus O. Nazareth. Mr. Nazareth's portraits (similar to vampires he never showed up in photographs) often had that soft frontal lighting style similar to Mr. Barack's Time Magazine cover photo.

Now let's skip over to McCain! For some unknown reason, Time decided to employ a totally different lighting style for McCain. Why? Because of media bias? No, it cannot be! Oh wait, Time does it for the money, so I guess it CAN be! Let's take a look. In contrast to Hussein's soft frontal lighting, McCain is lit extremely harshly from the side. As previously alluded to, this creates stark shadows on the opposite side of the face. It's almost as if Time Magazine is somehow alluding to the popular Democratic idea of Republicans being Two... Faced. Does this picture look familiar to you? No? Well let me jog your memory:

Yes, that is none other than the Joker from The Dark Knight! Now why oh why would Time Magazine want to make such an allusion? Could it be because so many people have evidently seen the movie? No way. Could it be because Time Magazine and The Dark Knight were created by the same corporation? Impossible. Could it be because Time Warner wants to remind people that The Dark Knight is still in theatres in a lame attempt to beat Titanic's domestic record of $600 million? Possibly, but we'll ignore it for now. Could it be because Time Magazine is BIASED?? Ding ding ding! Every single photographer worth his money is completely aware of what certain lighting styles mean and what message they convey to the viewer. I'm a chump that works in an oil factory and even I know this! So to create such a high contrast between the two sides of McCain's face strikes me as a blatant, implicit, sub-conscious message towards Time Magazine reader's that Mr. Hussein Barack is the better choice.

Even McCain's eyelight is quite horrible. It's a big giant dot, obviously an attempt to symbolize either:

a) a cataract

b) a super-sized Anime-style eye (Americans still hate Japs over Pearl Harbour). or

c) the glint in the eye of people with Down Syndrome

Down Syndrome? Does that sound familiar? McCain's VP Pick, Sarah Palin, has a son with Down Syndrome. And of course the popular democrat conspiracy is that the son is actually from Palin's young daughter. Circle of Life? More like Circle of LIES!

The News Today

2008-09-03T21:54:00.000-04:00

1) http://drudgereport.com/otf.jpg
The stage of Obama's acceptance speech. Cocky much? His strategy all along is to assume that he's already won. We'll see if his affirmations pay off.

2) http://cbs2chicago.com/sports/jay.mariotti.quits.2.803995.html
Sad day for traditional media. Oh these are different times indeed.

3) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080827/D92QJ8GO0.html
Indirect conscription finds a new niche market.

4) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/26/AR2008082601548_pf.html
Victory for crooks everywhere! Americans should be ashamed of themselves.

5) http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008140846_fair27m0.html
Part of Obama's original platform was the introduction of a $3 bill. They had a small test market which failed miserably, now they're blaming it on the Republicans.

6) http://library.creativecow.net/articles/wilson_tim/rocketcar.php
Reminder that it's sometimes the most unsuspecting things that are preventing us from greatness. Do note that it's McCain who's fighting for what's right. Where's Obama?

7) http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/Conventions/story?id=5668622&page=1
Ooooooh, looks like ABC's starting to smarten up. Nice to see the liberal MSM report on Obama's love-in with lobbyists.

8) http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-mortgagefraud25-2008aug25,1,4792318.story?page=1
A conspiracy so huge, not even the FBI can stop it.

9) http://www.usnews.com/usnews/politics/bulletin/bulletin_080828.htm
Media Oba-masturbation in full effect here, love how they act as if they didn't know he was going to get nominated.

10) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12900.html
Whoa! Liberal MSM set to come clean!!

11) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D92R51LG0&show_article=1
Obs Pelosi's lying about her love for her religion, SHE'S A FUCKING DEMOCRAT!

12) http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/28/report-britney-spears-set-designer-built-obamas-invesco-stage/
Doubt you'll find this news on many liberal MSM websites.

13) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080828/entertainment/tv_david_duchovny
I ask for a moment of silence and prayers for his improvement.

14) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080829/entertainment/olympics_mimed_performancecode4
Wtf is the world coming to. Is Sydney TRYING to prove that they're better at staging a fake Olympics?

15) http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10028448-38.html
More hypocrisy from the Obama camp.

16) http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/1134374,CST-NWS-edwards29.article
How to make money from cheating on your dying wife.

17) http://www.slate.com/id/2198535/?gt1=38001
I saw a link to this article on the MSN homepage.

18) http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/29/opinion/main4395802.shtml
The No-bama wagon gains some steam.

19) http://www.studiodaily.com/blog/?p=626
Awesome! NBC's Olympic Broadcast Centre had it's own fucking Starbucks.

20) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080902/n_canada_reuters/canada_politics_col
Conservatives were genius for going towards American-style one-party politics. Liberals need to do the same. Very soon we will be one step closer to being the same as USA.

21) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080831/n_world_reuters/international_russia_putin_tiger_dc_1
Putin rules!

22) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/indepth/extremeweather/s/afp/080901/top_news/us_weather_storm_16
Once again, Obama subtley politicizes something totally inappropriate and the liberal MSM fawns upon him.

23) http://www.cnsnews.com/public/content/article.aspx?RsrcID=34921
Hilarious that Palin has more experience than Obama. Watch for the liberal MSM to pounce on something like "Palin's PTA experience makes her a good pick for VP"

24) http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0908/Obama_on_Palin.html?showall
Obama doing another fakeout.

25) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/488803
And meanwhile there's still no fucking community hockey rink downtown.

26) http://www.thestar.com/Sports/article/488843
Proof how stupid UofT students are.

27) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/488936
I was affected by 3 of the delays. Heard two more during my trip. One person on my train fainted. And I did smell something funny at Finch station...

28) http://www.newsweek.com/id/155641?GT1=43002
Finally America's involvement in terrorism is revealed!... oh wait, the Americans built this...

29) http://cache.trafficmp.com/adv/m0/22/2008-07-16/0716_gfb_chillisgc_survey_young_obama_300x250_15sec.gif
Nice picture of Jesse Jackson.

30) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080902/sports/nfl_jags_collier_shot
The term 'players' takes on a whole new meaning.

31) http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/09/lets-see-if-we.html
All you LiLo haters better check up on it.

32) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122032950614389923.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
DUH!!! People are stupid. Who the fuck goes to their pharmacist demanding a specific medication? Everybody knows that big pharma bribes the doctors directly to use their medications. Their extravagant ad money is only used as a coverup. Hopefully this brings people one step closer to realizing the truth.

33) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080903/n_technology_reuters/tech_hp_walmart_packaging_col
This is why Walmart rocks! Go Walmart! Fuck unions!

34) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080903/world/mexico_us_crime_drugs
Now if only they did such a good job on my lawn... :-(

35) http://www.nypost.com/seven/09032008/postopinion/opedcolumnists/a_time_warped_sexist_assault_127183.htm
Good point (as convulted as the writer is). Palin is facing the master chauvinist Obama and his woman-hating campaign machine.

36) http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13111.html
Once again the media isn't focusing on the issues and the Democrats are loving it. Attacking Palin's experience but not Obama's.

37) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/02/AR2008090202730_pf.html
Obama demanding nice coverage in return for a television interview.

38) http://wcbstv.com/campaign08/joe.lieberman.republican.2.808783.html
Democrats want Republicans to convert to their side, but it's NOT allowed to be the other way around!

39) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122039919493892941.html?mod=opinion_main_commentaries
Holy fuck, WSJ is all over the fucking political spectrum, make up your fucking mind!

40) http://www.thestar.com/Sports/Hockey/article/489529
Genius move to get rid of McCabe at any cost. Keep on losing, keep on raking in cash from stupid fans, and do it all with higher profit margins!

41) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/489509
This is how fucked up urban-sprawl-based towns are. Everybody on council except for Linda is a crook and literally deserves to die.

42) http://www.thestar.com/News/Canada/article/489765
Look to see the Conservatives push the CRTC into allowing the Greens into the television debate, thus causing a huge split in the left-wing voting spectrum, leading to an easy Conservative majority. You heard it here first folks!

Movie review!

2008-09-02T22:27:00.000-04:00

A stunning weekend haul in comparison to last weekend's whimpering intake.

1) Traitor. Prediction = $19.3 million. Result = $7.8 million.
2) Babylon A.D.. Predicion = $15.2 million. Result = $9.7 million.
3) College. Predicion = $26.9 million. Result = $2.1 million.
4) Disaster Movie. Predicion = $28.1 million. Result = $5.8 million.

FOOLED YOU! HAHA. Another extremely shitty week. Humans are odd. They'll spend hundreds of millions in late spring but only a couple bucks in early Fall. Odd race indeed (another reason to vote McCain).

Given these tough times, Traitor did fairly respectable. While it seems pitiful, the movie only cost $22 million to make, so it'll do fine justifiably. Don Cheadle's still got it!

Vin Diesel does not. Babylon A.D. is a certified flop, a flop that cost $70 million to make. Apparently it's common knowledge that this time of year movies do shit. Apparently it wasn't common knowledge over at Fox. Should've been released during the summer, even competing against Dark Knight would've done better than this pussy take. Vin Diesel is definietly over, Jean Claude Van Damme compressed into a few short years. His next movie looks to be even worserest (more on that later).

College did incredibly poorly, but for different reasons than conventional. It was released in a bit more theatres than Traitor, but raked in about 1/4 the cash. Thus it did poorly. But considering that it cost $7 million to make, that's chump change.

Disaster Movie did alright. It'll probably make back it's budget during it's run, guaranteed to do well in DVD sales.

So I also saw two movies over the weekend: Death Race and Pineapple Express. And I also saw one of the worst trailers ever. I also saw a really bad car commercial. SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT!

CAR COMMERCIAL REVIEW:
It's a pretty mundane looking car commercial. Couple people fighting/grappling/climbing/doing random action moves on the back of a truck. For a car commercial, it's pretty lame. Mazda and Toyota have been tearing up the movie car commercials pretty well as of late, so in comparison, this particular commercial sucked major old man balls. It was incredibly slow paced. Guy would do an action move, do a grunt, then do another move, do a grunt, ad nauseum. And it went on for like 90 seconds. Yes, normal car commercial length of shitty-ass action choreography. Horrible.

TRAILER REVIEW:
One really good reason to see Death Race is to see the trailer for 'Fast & Furious' (no typo). Definitivly (sp?) the worst trailer ever, and another magnificent flop for the former up-and-coming action star. It includes such Razzie-award-winning dialogue such as:
Guy: "You two know each other?"
Vin Diesel: "He dated my sister."
BARF BARF BARF BARF BARF. I pissed my pants from laughing at the hilarity of the crappiness of the line, and barfed at the lame attempt at subtle humor. Needless to say, the person infront of me was covered in barf piss. Oh, I also forgot to mention that the car commercial and the Fast & Furious trailer WERE THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!! A car action movie with CRAPPY CAR ACTION! The ticket price to see Death Race is worthwhile considering the money (and barf piss) you'll be saving from knowing how bad Fast & Furious is going to be. VD needs to lay low for a decade and pull a JCVD. The similarities between the two are startling.

DEATH RACE REVIEW:
All in all a great little action movie. I had low expectations as the director has a bit of a questionable history, but this was great! Had some flaws, cheesy dialogue (likely a good thing though) and overly ADD camera work (there's a single shot mini-monologue with over-caffeinated zoom control). But it's mostly balls-to-the-wall non-stop-mother-fucking action. Judging by the popcorn meter, I plowed through half my bag within the first 30 minutes or so before I started feeling acid reflux. Fantastic movie to just sit back and enjoy before going back to the cruel, cruel world. And this particular film may have it's own particular place in film history ;-).

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS REVIEW:
I wasn't high when I saw this, questionnable as to whether I would've preferred so. It's no doubt a pot film about pot for pot smokers. And it caters to that market perfectly. But even though I wasn't high, i thought the movie was 'good'. Not average, not excellent, somewhere a step above average. One key thing is that i'm not sure whether I like Seth Rogen as an actor. He's an extremely real actor. Not like "i'ma do some method acting and get an Oscar" real, but more like "i'm some chump doing a whacky role so I think I need to take some acting classes" real. 'Fo Reals! This guy.... is interesting. Imagine some average joe being taken off the street and asked to act in a movie with a certain demeanour, they'd typically inadvertently over-exaggerate their movements and acting, but especially they'd do what I like to call actor-talk, where they add a completely odd and inappropriate tone/depth/etc... to their voice, making for a completely jarring performance. And that is Seth Rogen. In this movie he talks like a caucasian retard. It's a completely jarring voice, irritating as heck, which unfortunately was often a distraction from the overall film experience. However, in a way it also fits in, as he's playing an average Joe in a whacky situation, so i'm still on the fence about this one (compared to being completely on one side of the fence about Dark Knight).

What was utterly fantastic about Pineapple Express were a few things. One, it's definietly a very real movie just in a very whacky situation. There's one particular scene that makes a total mockery of all the great action car chases to great benefit. Another excellent scene is the ending. Perfect writing, perfect editing, perfect acting, a beautiful trifecta to experience even when I wasn't high. The sheer high point of the movie is watching James Franco as a pot dealer. He is absolutely incredible in this movie. If you thought (or didn't think) that he was a good (or bad) actor judging from previous movies like the Spider-Man franchise, this role in Pineapple Express seals the deal as an actor to keep an eye on in the future. And the future may arive in December with the release of Milk, sure to skyrocket his profile depending on the invovlement of his character.

All in all it's a fantastic Hollywood freshman release from director David Gordon Green, another person to keep an eye on (and he's cute!).

Movie prediction!

2008-08-29T20:54:00.000-04:00

Coming off of last week's quickly slow weekend, makes me wonder what this weekend will bring. Oh this is what it'll bring!

1) Traitor. Prediction = $19.3 million.
2) Babylon A.D. = $15.2 million.
3) College = $26.9 million.
4) Disaster Movie = $28.1 million.

Traitor I think will surprise everybody. It looks like total shit, like a movie that was shit in the 80's, used Photoshop 3.0 to spruce up frame by frame. It has Jeff Daniels in what I assume is a serious role, expect Jim Carrey to jump out of nowhere and hilarious hijinx to ensue. It has Don Cheadle doing blackface, looks so African Obama must be jealous. And top it all off with an incredible boring ass trailer (who knew I could fall asleep so fast?). But something with so low expectations usually does do surprisingly well. Don Cheadle ain't no lightweight, so this movie is probably respectably good.

Babylon A.D. is the puzzle case of the week. Definitely will be an exceptionally horrible film. The director himself has gone on the record for saying how horribly mangled the studio made it to be. Decent concept, by oh my god there's zero excitement surrounding this piece of shit. Like previous puzzles, this is a huge test for whether it's main star can bring in cash while headlining a piece of shit. Of course i'm talking about Michelle Yeoh. Everybody knows Vin Diesel is done.

College could do surprisingly well as well. It's a movie that looks like a Apatow comedy, has Apatow-like jokes, and I say all of this without ever seeing an Apatow movie (though I AM one of the dozens to see Freaks and Geeks). Trailer looks good, inevitably going to be a nice heartwarming ending, probably a great pick for those trucking off to post-secondary schools.

Disaster Movie is undoubtedly going to suck, it's also undoubtedly going to do exceptionally well this weekend. How these guys are allowed to still make movies is beyond me. Why people still keep seeing them is absolutely beyond me. Of course having said that, i have a higher likelyhood of seeing this movie over all other new releases. Look for it to do great, then disappear off the charts next week.

The News Today

2008-08-27T20:44:00.000-04:00

1) http://www.nationalenquirer.com/john_edwards_blockbuster_new_expose/celebrity/65316
Since the liberal MSM is getting lazy, need to turn to tabloids to get some real news. Men In Black was right.

2) http://www.kcbs.com/Gov--May-Have-to-Skip-Convention/2822091
How awesome is Ah-nold as governor? This awesome. Man knows his priorities, thus putting everybody else to shame.

3) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/indepth/olympics/s/cbc/080820/sports/olympics_olympics_bolt_phelps
Dumbest question ever? Answer is obviously Obama.

4) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iGV_VjFnAW81p_hQF1REokO6iNfQD92M7P0O1
Holy fuck. $126 billion later and it's still a shit hole?

5) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080820/technology/technology_dancing_baby_video
Huge implications for Youtube and free speech.

6) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080820/entertainment/music_ricky_martin
+1 for the 'Ricky Martin's a fag' position. Only gays use surrogate mothers. Look at MJ!

7) In other news, liberal MSM bias continues. Obama is once again gracing his white mug on the cover of Time Magazine for the 7th time this year. McCain's cover shots? Two.

8) In other other news, anybody else find Bell's new advertising campaign ungodly horribad? 'Er' is the sound that retards make, thus telling me that Bell is a retarded company. It's Instinct ads make me want to get an iPod. And it's revised logo is ungodly awfully designed. Coincidentally enough, it looks like it was designed by a retard. How about a little space between the letters? Oh right, retards have no sense of personal space.

9) http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/227185,senior-citizens-angered-over-age-discrimination-by-banks.html
Blessing in disguise. People are too stupid to realize what a smart move this is. The elderly is a huge target market for scammers, changes like this are required for their own good. By fighting it, it just goes to show how stupid they really are.

10) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/22/sports/olympics/22longman.html
Grumpy, frumpy Americans.

11) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26254878/
Read the second section. Grumpy, frumpy Americans.

12) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D92MQLDG0&show_article=1
It took them 3 years to make an excuse that my ass could've made the day after.

13) http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/stumper/archive/2008/08/21/would-clinton-be-crushing-mccain.aspx
We interrupt our daily scheduled Obama fawning for some more unnecessary Clinton bashing. Love how liberal MSM is trying to cover up the fact that they've been supporting the wrong candidate.

14) http://parentcentral.ca/parent/article/483075
Greedy fucking unions strike again.

15) http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4583174.ece
Only after they lose do they really make a fuss.

16) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/483477
Better solution: kill the union!

17) http://www.cjr.org/the_kicker/rumors_of_tubbs_jones_demise_e.php
In a lame attempt to recover from the non-reporting on John Edwards, liberal MSM trip overthemselves... twice.

18) http://gawker.com/5040166/top-5-best-contradictory-statements-about-barack-obamas-economic-ideas-of-all-time
Classic Obama.

19) http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/082508dnpolskyboxenvy.4271884.html
Obama <3 lobbyists.

20) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080825/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_democrats_faith
Baby Allah turning in his grave.

21) http://www.politico.com/blogs/michaelcalderone/0808/Rendell_Obama_coverage_was_embarrassing.html
Tom Brokaw wants to make sure people know that he's biased towards Obama too.

22) http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/olympics/2008/08/23/taekwondo.ban.ap/
LOL

23) http://www.iht.com/images/mpromo/2008/08/22/sport_olympics-7.jpg
This picture sums up the Olympics perfectly.

24) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409864,00.html
You laugh, but Fox is the only news website that posted the entire dancer lineup of the show.

25) http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D92PEFBG0&show_article=1
Democrats create a 'Freedom Cage'. What a joke.

26) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/25/the-100-year-gap-in-understanding/
Holla.

27) http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSPAT56944620080825
And people laugh at me when I say incense smells like cancer.

28) http://media.newsbusters.org/stories/scarborough-mocks-shuster-msnbc-for-no-bias-claims.html
Liberal MSM comes clean!

29) http://www.nypost.com/seven/08262008/gossip/pagesix/anti_obama_stand_riles_gays_126081.htm
Gays are as stupid as blacks. Settling for second best.

30) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1049021/Pictured-The-dramatic-moment-15-year-old-Iraqi-suicide-bomber-gave-up.html
Most blatant propoganda operation ever! Girl so ugly, she's obviously some 40-50 yo professional actress. Is this where Cybill Sheppard has been all this time?

31) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1049036/Chinese-media-attacks-Boris-Johnson-rude-arrogant-disrespectful-Olympic-ceremony.html
Hilarious. Make sure you read the David Beckham part.

32) http://www.wmctv.com/global/story.asp?s=8898891
Double hilarious. Scared Americans endlessly amuse me.

33) http://www.crn.com/software/210200878
FINALLY!

34) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5i4kT7pJlnuzY_vpKdTACcQYIPcvQD92Q4FFO0
For someone who claims to want to improve Zimbabewe, he's doing a piss poor job of looking better than the current man in charge.

35) http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-toogoodtopitch&prov=ap&type=lgns
Frightening on all sorts of levels. Bringing white-collar crime down to a younger age group. Parents are so stupid and overly paranoid, read some of their frightened comments near the end. Great thinking for punishing someone who's exceptionally good.

36) http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2008/08/zhang_yimous_gold_medal.html#more
Brilliant commentary. Everybody else is fucked.

37) http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/08/26/source-bill-clinton-will-not-attend-obamas-invesco-speech/
Why MSM should never support blog reporting.

38) http://io9.com/5038966/death-race-director-comes-clean-about-how-many-cameras-were-smashed-during-filming
Despite a questionable film repoirtoire, this is one director i'm going to be keeping an eye on.

Olympics 2008 Review

2008-08-26T20:01:00.000-04:00

To be honest (as opposed to my usual self), I abhor sporting events. The vast majority I have no interest in watching, bore the heck out of me, and I consider a gigantic waste of time. That being said, I found this year's Olympics to be completely spellbinding, though maybe not for the right reasons.

In my younger years (so long ago), I would always watch the Olympics. In particular, I have very clear memories of watching endless back to back coverage of the Summer Olympics as I'd be on summer break at that time. My schedule was: wake up, go to swimming classes, come home by noon, make Pizza Pockets for lunch (or other pizza-related meal), and turn on the telly to CBC to watch Olympics. If coverage switched to something unrelated (e.g. Simpsons), switch to YTV, watch cartoons, but keep checking back for any Olympics updates / resumption of Olympic coverage.

Though my swimming+childhood combination only lasted two Summer Olympics, they oddily enough take up the vast majority of my childhood memories. Back then it was an exciting time. Canada was dominating various events, we were bringing home medals on a steady pace, and it was in general just a very exciting time to live!

Not so much in recent years. Olympics would come and go. I'd know of them, but make zero effort to catch anything. I'd keep my ear to the ground if any 'breakthrough' stories or events came up, but nothing really got my heart racing. My only Olympic memory of recent years is simply watching the swimming events for non-athletic purposes. That all it was really useful for.

But this year was simply astounding. Not for Michael Phelps, and not for any Canadians who were 'expected to win', but instead it was technology that made it fascinating for me. NBC spent a ginormous amount of money to obtain the broadcast rights to the 2008 Olympics. Naturally, they needed a way to recuperate. And oh boy did they ever. So outside of the $1 billion it raked in in advertising fees, regardless of the fact that it drew the biggest crowds in the history of broadcasting, it was NBC's implementation of technology that fascinated me the most.

In addition to the typical white man broadcasting television pony show, NBC took the leap of faith and decided to broadcast EVERY SINGLE EVENT LIVE on the Internet. That adds up to 3800 live streams (though of course not all at the same time), but also archived and instantly accessible by any internet user. As any natural American broadcast station is out to do, they set out to make it accessible by Americans only. Normally USA broadcasters use a fancy webpage that auto detects whether you're actually an American or not (webcam retinal scan I swear), making it extremely difficult to bypass. But as either an idiotic move, or a masterful powerplay to milk advertiser's money, NBC required you to simply input your postal code and your cable provider. Now in theory, this is arguably still quite secure. But all I had to do was google up Comcast's address and put in their postal code and assumably Comcast uses their own ISP service (which they surprisingly do considering how shitty it is), and BAM, an ice cold eskimo Canadian like me had full complete access to NBC's around the clock Olympic coverage.

And boy was it beautiful.

NBC had a beautifully laid out interface, and everything was LIGHTNING quick! Zero lag in between switching pages, beautiful video quality, and of course, the ability to watch an event live as it was happening (which I wasn't interested in). I was more astounded by the speed of which everything operated. Check out these two links as to how they brought it all together:
1) http://blogs.zdnet.com/perlow/?p=9221
2) http://blogs.zdnet.com/perlow/?p=9226

So if you thought that was awesome, wait until you hear this. We all heard for years how useless Vista is and how nobody is going to use it. Well NBC made another stunning technological advance by giving every sport fan a huge reason to get Vista. Automatic Downloading Of Olympic Events In HD. You didn't get that? Lemme say it again. AUTOMATIC DOWNLOADING OF OLYMPIC EVENTS IN HD!!! Maybe I forgot to mention a keyword. LEGAL automatic downloading of olympic events in HD. Yes, how friggin awesome is that? After a long hard day at work, nobody wants to sit around at home and talk to their wife while waiting for Olympic coverage to start. You'd rather get home, lock yourself in the computer room, and watch some Olympics right? Well NBC made it all possible. With it's service, it would (as advertised) automatically download compressed HD Olympic events to your computer as they happen, so you can watch it all in beautiful quality without your wife nagging in your ear about Phelp's nipples. Even more awesome? Not only was it a huge plus for Visa, it was also a huge plus for Microsoft's Silverlight, which not only is a big middle finger to Adobe, but has potential to be a Flash killer if Microsoft doesn't mind a few more antitrust lawsuits.

So outside of NBC, more fancy technological stuff included a live display of 'where the athlete needs to be' to beat the World record. This was displayed as a green line live on the screen (often during Phelps' events). It made watching an event much more exciting as usually we'd only know at the end how well an athlete is doing in comparison to the world record holder. But now we have a live *visual* reference of where the athlete needs to be to beat the record.

To go back to design for a moment, NBC's overall branding of the Olympics was very nice. Nothing too groundbreaking, felt pretty safe, but safe is good! And it was pretty, so it's all good there. In contrast, CBC's branding was absolutely horrendous. It featured some weird ass female human krishna multiarmed non-elephant thing, was full of red and flames and more fiery red colors. I remember when I was watching it the first few days how often it reminded me of the CBC series Dragon's Den. I couldn't get out of my mind how friggin similar it was, thus a horrendous design decision within CBC. To make matter's worse, they had Dragon's Den commercials running during the Olympics! So while watching that ad, so many times I thought Olympics coverage had resumed, only to find out it was the stupid ad (thus switching back to Food Network for a moment). But when it comes to CBC, that can be the only bad thing that can be said about it.

This link hear sums it up nicely: http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2008/08/if-olympics-cov.html
With this Olympics, I started off watching the CBC coverage, being the true-cold-blooded eskimo that I am. I thoguht it was nifty, but more so for the technological glitz (green line!) rather than the actual reporting coverage. So one day I was watching with a few friends, and they switched over to NBC (television's equivalent of double-fisting). Oh my god NBC's coverage was HORRENDOUS!!!

The main reason we switched to NBC at that moment was to watch an American indoor court volleyball match. At that time it was 'just' discovered that the coach had been stabbed to death. Tragic 'fo 'sho. But I guess Americans being what they are, innately love tragedies, so this bit of information was repeated every... fucking... minute. "He's going for the spike, his fury indicates that he knows his coach died. They got the point! The team isn't happy because their coach died. Look at the spike. Dedicated to the dead coach." On and on and mother-fucking on. Never fucking ended. And it continued with every other event. There was always some sap angle or sap story about the athlete that they pounded to death. On the flipside, CBC's coverage was much more astute, almost hilariously mentioning that shit as a byline. "The American volleyball team won their preliminary match, they must be happy since their coach died. In other news....". Now that's real fucking reporting!

NBC also had alot of crap ass filler special segments. I saw this special piece on how the American gymnasts are 'so not used to the publicity' and 'not used to seeing their face on products'. BARF BARF BARF! I think it went on for like 2 minutes, but god it felt like 5. To be fair, CBC had it's own fair share of utterly innane filler segments. They had a bunch of 'hip' Canadian hosts doing them too which made it even more painful to watch them make utter fools of themselves to zero laughs. There was one clip of the hot korean host walking around Beijing, and convicing other chinks to walk with her. I just pissed myself... from boredom. There was another one of her doing some weird ass Mongolian ritual in the desert. That one was actually kinda cool. But that was counter acted by the one with the young Muslim (Shawn Muslim?) guy dressing up as some retard geeky asian and utterly sucking at ping pong, while being yelled at by some angry chinese guy. I just pissed myself... from barfing. But oddily enough the CBC did have some absolutely killer (coach killer) fascinating segments. I did catch the drug doping one forementioned in the above URL. It was short, endlessly fascinating, well-balanced, perfect reporting in general.

The one other thing that made this Olympics so endlessly interesting was the fact that it was hosted by China. Normally I would say 'Enough Said', but evidently people have some sorta misconception as a magical land that makes televisions and bubble tea. No. China is a mean, angry, governmental monster that gets what it wants one way or another. People are surprised that it may have cheated or did some blatant lies in it's hosting duties? Well duh. If you expected any less, you are absolutely an idiot who deserved to lose or be fooled in the first place. Your entire training regimine should've revolved around competeing against growth hormone fed, underage Chinese wolf+human hybrids. Oh you thought otherwise? You're an idiot, get off the podium. Steroids only may step up.

And finally i'd like to close off with how absolutely fucked Vancouver and London are for the next Winter and Summer Olympics respectively. There's absolutely zero chance of them being able to even match China's crazy spectacle, human rights be damned. My fellow Eskimos, prepare to be the laughing stock from 2010 - 2012, before the poor toothed Britains take over that responsibility.

Movie review!

2008-08-25T23:07:00.000-04:00

Ho ho ho, this week is quite the doozy.

1) The Rocker. My prediction = $18.9 million. Result = $2.8 million.
2) Death Race. My prediction = $34.5 million. Result = $12.3 million.
3) The House Bunny. My prediction = $21.4 million. Result = $15.1 million.
4) The Longshots. My prediction = $23.6 million. Result = $4.3 million.

The House Bunny came in at #2. #1 spot went surprisingly to Tropic Thunder with a gigantic haul of $16.1 million. The Dark Knight came in with a respectable $10.3 million, for a total domestic haul of $489.2 million. It should just barely eek past $500 million and die (like Heath Ledger). Overall this was an abyssmally bad weekend for movies. Summer is definietly over, time to unleash any leftover movies it seems before gearing up for Oscar season.

The Rocker is a certified flop. How bad did it do? Eddie Murphy's latest movie did almost double on it's opening weekend. Quite surprising as Rainn Wilson has a solid fanbase from his The Office character: Dwight. But then again, an actor like him would be wayyyyy too over the top to play a leading role. Hope this sends him back down to earth.

I'm quite surprised at how bad Death Race did. However, given that it is an extremely violent, and very stylized film, I guess modern North America isn't quite ready for it yet.

The House Bunny did reasonably well for a quick comedy. Anna Faris strikes again, certified star power 'fo 'sho.

The Longshots were a long shot. Looks like Ice Cube needs to stick to movies where he's a father and has comedic adventures with his family.

And to top it all off, I catched Tropic Thunder over the weekend (POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING!). An incredibly surprisingly extremely enjoyable movie. I went in with high hopes (who doesn't love black face retard jokes?), left very impressed. The fact that Stiller directed this impressed me even more. All the black retards have every reason to be offended by this film, which impresses me even more for Stiller having to balls to offend them. Good thing black retards can't shoot straight! I definietly hope to see it again.

Movie prediction!

2008-08-22T20:52:00.001-04:00

1) The Rocker = $18.9 million.
2) Death Race = $34.5 million.
3) The House Bunny = $21.4 million
4) The Longshots = $23.6 million.

Note: Hamlet 2 is not on this list. It's in limited release (Toronto included for once), it goes wide next week. Hopefully i'll remember to throw in a prediction then.

The Rocker will be a moderate flop. It stars Rainn Wilson. Who? Yeah. Worst name ever, way too similar to the suicidal Wilson. He's Dwight from The Office, oohhhhh, NOW you know who he is. For a while now he's been trying REALLY really hard in landing leading roles in movies. A little too hard as he leads this dud of a movie. Unfortunately the distribution company was confusing it with 'School of Rock', and gave it a Wednesday release date, which i'm sure resulted in one of the worst advance release box office takes ever. Hopefully this guy will realize that he shines best in secondary roles.

Death Race is sure to do well. Great and safe action actor who has a knack for choosing very good flicks. The director's a fraud, but his lack of skill is no match of Statham's talent.

The House Bunny will do alright. Very oddball in concept, zero premise on paper, again something very similar to Hancock. Given a horrible film, can the lead actor/actress still rake in the cash? Anna Faris is an extremely safe bet, being the saving grace for a slew of otherwise trashy flicks.

The Longshots is a longshot indeed. Ice Cube has done very well since giving up his crime rep and his HIV in turn for becoming a family-safe actor. His previous movies were extremely successful. However this movie is a little too Ladybugs for me :S. Given that Eddie Murphy will soon stop making films (thank god), it feels like Ice Cube felt that he had to step in and provide otherwise shitty movies. This movie will probably be reasonably successful, but it could be the first step in Cube's descent into Murphy's Law.

And though Dark Knight will likely get under $20 million this weekend, it's Imax screenings will probably still be sold out completely :-(. Aiming to see it in September me thinks.

The News Today!

2008-08-20T20:08:00.001-04:00

1) http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=303952351194789
Truth on Obama revealed, liberal mainstream media (MSM) ignores it as usual.

2) http://voices.kansascity.com/node/1870
Science has clearly shown that lowering legal ages for all sorts of weird and wonderful things is always for the better. Good to know there's always stupid people who fail to accept it. Typically stupid American media.

3) http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2008/08/if-olympics-cov.html
From the same (formerly) stupid media source comes this stunningly fascinating post. I hope to do an Olympics recap 'in the future' (before 2012), so let this just be food for thought.

4) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,406187,00.html
More from the Whine-bama camp. McCain utterly raped him at the Warren Forum, so liberal MSM focuses on a rediculous conspiracy theory that McCain cheated. Everybody knows that politicians never cheat (only half-black ones!).

5) http://www.newsweek.com/id/154155
More lies from the Obama laugh factory.

6) http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/b24434_casting_couch_cruise_wants_sleeper_hit.html
Anyone else chuckle at the title of this window?

7) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080819/canada/consumer_london_bottledwater
A bottled water ban is inevitable, finally somebody gets the balls to get the ball rolling on it. Love how Nestle is all anti-pollution, except when it comes to it's own business.

8) http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b24284_tr_knight_no_wedding_in_works.html
Most barf-worthy article ever. Gay couple celebrating only an 8 month anniversary? BARF! Gay couples have possibility of marraige after 8 months of dating? BARF BARF!

9) http://www.thestar.com/fplarge/video/481988
Alot of cities have chess boards in public parks. Beijing has ping pong tables. Fascinating.

10) http://www.thestar.com/News/Canada/article/481837
+1 people are stupid. +2 people on Facebook are especially stupid.

11) http://olympics.thestar.com/2008/article/481950
China 'strikes' again. Get it?

12) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/481903
People are really stupid. Montreal better than Toronto? BARF! Montreal best place in the world? BARF BARF!

13) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/barackobama/2590614/Barack-Obamas-lost-brother-found-in-Kenya.html
'Nuff said. Let's get Whitey in the House (and I don't mean Obama, he's only half-Whitey).

14) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080820/D92LUR4G0.html
This...

15) http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/middle_east/article4573599.ece
... VS THIS!!!!!

16) http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080820/D92LN0D00.html
Further proof that Obama will reveal on election day that he was just black-facing all along leading him to win by a landslide.

17) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080820/ap_on_re_us/sc_party_shooting
Hurray for no gun control!

18) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080820/ap_on_fe_st/japan_wild_monkey_chase
Awesome.

19) http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/2008olympics/2008/08/19/2008-08-19_breakfast_of_a_champion_frosted_flakes_p.html
People are stupid. Yell at the cereal, not the celebrity.

20) http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?id=226
Hope Obama has balls to do it (means he won't).

21) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080820/business/nl_hebron_deal
Tick tock. So when does Ontario start getting Federal funds?

22) http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/08/rainn-wilson-is-no-jack-black-the-rocker.php
Hilarious. Wilson's trying way too hard for leading roles.

23) http://radaronline.com/features/2008/07/will_smith_scientology_hancock_01.php
Hilarious info on 2nd page.

24) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080820/entertainment/entertainment_us_nzealand_film_hobbit
Will Peter Jackson's english be strong enough to battle off Del Toro's spanglish?

25) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080820/national/ont_criminal_charges
Canadians are stupid. Common knowledge that an increase of police officers has zero net effect as crime simply moves elsewhere.

26) http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080820i.php
I'm pretty sure Potter fans are smart enough to know that the next-next film will be delayed too.

The News Today

2008-08-19T22:46:00.001-04:00

1) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/olympics/2545387/Beijing-Olympics-Faking-scandal-over-girl-who-sang-in-opening-ceremony.html
So surely by now you've heard of the whole scandal about the girl singing the song during the opening ceremony. Naturally, as stupid people, you probably went into a Hulk rage at the rediculous idea of having a girl lip-sync during a renowned celebration such as the Olympics. But you obviously aren't looking at the big picture. Have you even SEEN what the original singing girl looked like? Well folks here is a picture of the real singer. Warning, do not eat one hour prior to clicking this link. China should be thanked for saving the lives of the billion plus viewers in preventing their death from ugly shock.

2) http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/1318360/1998590
China's ingenuity continues. Brilliant plan to derail the American team.

3) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080813/business/thailand_us_auto_company_invest
That oughta teach the outrageous unions a lesson.

4) http://www.usatoday.com/sports/olympics/beijing/gymnastics/2008-08-13-karolyi-charges_N.htm
The mastermind plan by the Chinese to dominate the Olympics continues.

5) http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-trailleach13-2008aug13,0,515257.story
Hurray for political flip-floppers looking to make a quick buck. Lucky for them, people are too stupid to realize their personal aims. How fitting this is for Flop-bama though.

6) http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/08/13/earlyshow/main4347059.shtml
New word of the day: 'Untruth'!

7) http://news.ninemsn.com.au/olympics/article.aspx?id=613554
Funniest thing ever!!!! How can his Toronto friends NOT be from China?

8) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080813/sports/oly2008
Silly people, everybody knows double wrapping increases the chances of tearing. Check out the awesome Russian trash talking at the end.

9) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hgUKfJcz1PuY0OyNFBcFfAuwGq6wD92I1L480
For an article about the Olympics, you'd think it'd be smart to state the guy's country early on.

10) http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article4531025.ece
Cocktail party in Zimbabwe continues. Now the official opposition is whining about getting no power, when the deal he wanted would give zero power to the current President.

11) http://www.techlearning.com/blog/2008/08/this_is_why_we_have_so_few_lap.php
Fascinating perspective. Could education's push for computers inadvertently caused the current childhood obesity crisis?

12) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gDNLWfQWKrQc48pITBUg9KT_6oVwD92I46782
The fact that Georgia's beach volleyball team utterly raped Russia is hilarious.

13) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,403386,00.html
Fantastic reporting from Fox. Build up Young's character, make him seem like the perfect American, and then berade him with lame criminal charges.

14) http://voices.washingtonpost.com/washingtonpostinvestigations/2008/08/in_light_of_edwards_journos_fa.html
Liberal media now in excuse mode.

15)
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08072008/news/nationalnews/beyonce_the_pale_123393.htm
She loaned her darkness to White-bama.

16) http://teaspotnyc.blogspot.com/2008/08/why-price-of-tea-in-china-matters.html
Fantastic out of the box thinking, though analyzing numbers and NOT percentages is woefully incorrect.

17) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,404586,00.html
Hahahahahaha suckers. All of you who put it on your body daily are DEAD!

18) http://idea-sandbox.com/blog/2008/07/what-is-burger-king-thinking/
This is why Germans are the best.

19) http://consumerist.com/consumer/danger-will-robinson/the-worlds-worst-credit-card-296994.php
Wow.

20) http://olympics.thestar.com/2008/article/479428
Goes to show how stupid American MSM is.

21) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080815/national/sask_west_nile
Canada wins!

22) http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2008/08/massive_cheating_by_china_at_t.html
China's propoganda machine at it's best. Check out 'Spock's comment.

23) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080818/n_world_reuters/international_india_rats_dc
Novel approach, two birds with one stone!

24) And to top it all off, I recently got a Blockbuster e-newletter in my inbox. The title? "Never trust a cop - get "Street Kings" this Tuesday!".... wow.

Movie results!

2008-08-18T20:58:00.000-04:00

Hurray for self-cannibalization!

1) Tropic Thunder. Prediction = $28.6 million. Results = $26.0 million.
2) Fly Me to the Moon. Prediction = $16.9 million. Results = $2.0 million.
3) Mirrors. Prediction = $22.2 million. Results = $11.1 million.
4) Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Prediction = $43.4 million. Results = $15.5 million.
5) Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Prediction = $17.9 million. $3.7 million.

Tropic Thunder did pretty good (and I was pretty close for once). It will make back it's budget and a tiny bit of profit, no disappointments here.

On paper it looks like Fly Me to the Moon did horrible. But it was only showing in 452 theatres, versus Tropic Thunder's 3319. Plus it was supposed to be an Imax release, but guess what movie Imax theatres are still showing... Utterly horrible timing.

I like how Mirrors did exactly half of what I predicted. Hopefully they didn't have to pay Keifer Sutherland too much to appear in the movie, which is supposed to suck balls.

SWTCW is a huge disappointment. Pretty sure this movie cost alot to make. Gonna flop big time. Horrible reviews, I still might see it, hahaha.

VCB seems pretty disappointing, but again, it was only showing in 692 theatres, giving it the 2nd highest per theatre average for the weekend. Pretty sure this didn't cost much to make, but nonetheless, don't think it's going to make a profit. Sad because this is apparently a return to his classic form and his best movie in recent years.

The Dark Knight is now defineitly NOT over-taking Titantic for the all-time box office record, barring any catastrophic armageddon where seeing the movie helps with procreation. It took in $16.8 million, definietly dropping fast week by week. But there will undoubtedly be a turning point where the Imax sales (still going very strong) will beat out the normal ticket sales, which would be one for the history books.

Movie Prediction

2008-08-15T23:19:00.000-04:00

This will 'fo 'sho be the weekend that Dark Knight doesn't take #1. If it does, then it's definietly sinking Titanic (zing!).

1) Tropic Thunder. Prediction = $28.6 million.
2) Fly Me to the Moon. Prediction = $16.9 million.
3) Mirrors. Prediction = $22.2 million.
4) Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Prediction = $43.4 million.
5) Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Prediction = $17.9 million.

Actually, that's ALOT of fucking movies being released this weekend. This is the most i've seen in a long time, even outside of spring/summer. Maybe Dark Knight could take top spot again with all 5 of these flicks cannibalizing each other.

Tropic Thunder will have a weak weekend take for what it is. It had a typical Wednesday release so that'd eat into what could've been a Dark Knight killing weekend haul.

Fly Me to the Moon has an Imax version. Good luck watching in an Imax theatre though as owners know they'd get way more buck for their bang by keeping Dark Knight in it's Imax theatre.

Mirrors will do alright. Kiefer's slowly weening back into Hollywood form with a solid fan base.

Clone Wars is an interesting anomaly. It's the more blockbuster type of CG film, so they usually do well. It's Star Wars, which always does well on a weekend (not necessarily the entire run). But man oh man is there like zero buzz for this thing. No insane week-long lineups, Georgie Lucas is getting terrible as a director (he didn't want aliens in Indiana Jones!!!), and while the Clone Wars trailer had moments of genius, it also had a slew of wooden acting moments reminscent of Christensen + Portman's bromance. Much like the recent Star Wars flicks, it'll prob do gangbusters on the weekend, but disappear into the void.

Vicky, much like Allen's other movies prior, will flop and disappear before you know it. Dire shame.

We need the health tax

2008-08-14T22:54:00.000-04:00

http://www.thestar.com/News/Ontario/article/472962
Exhibit #928349827 that people are stupid. People want their governments to provide a fantastical amount of services, to care for the unfortunate, and essentially to be all that they can be. At the same time, they intend to do so by paying zero taxes with the full knowledge that the government can obtain money from the Money Tree (TM) at any desired time.

Rrrrrrrrrright.

I immensely enjoy how people look towards Europe as the ideal way of life. The way their government provides fantastic services and funding to it's civilians and the way that everybody over there gets along. On the Western side of the hemisphere we constantly moan and groan about how need to strive for such a European lifestyle. It's quite unfortunate that the vast majority of people are simply unable to comprehend the direct linkage between tax rate and government services. In Europe, the tax rate often tops out at the 50% level. Here in the wild wild West (wiki wiki), it hovers around 25%..... and dropping fast.

People somehow determined that a lower tax rate is good for the country. It falls into two immensely incorrect catagories of thinking:
1) The Idiotic: if the government gets less money, then they can provide more services! If someone can actually prove this scientifically, the universe will implode, so please don't.
2) The Inability To See Beyond The First Page: lower tax rate means more people will work in this country! Therefor more people means more money for the government! The end! ....... except that each of those additional peoples increases the burden on government, thus defeating the purpose. Again, if someone can prove this mathematically, then we just solved all our environmental problems (if we increase gas usage, we get more gas!).

A huge problem in our foreign (aka Western) lifestyle is that we utterly fail to see, recognize, and comprehend all that the government is doing for us. An incredible amount of services are either subsidized or paid entirely by the government with notsomuch as a blink of an eye from the peasantry. We have absolutely no idea what the true cost of services are, thus raising us in a lifestyle where we take everything for granted. And like little spoiled brats (visit your local Chuck-E-Cheese for an example), we are thus never happy with what we're given.

This leads to a viscious cycle of illogical demands on the government. Politicans are all too happy to use uneducated voters to their own advantage, thus they happily abide by the will of the people without a care about our Armageddon-life future (similar to the movie but without Bruce Willis). But admist a fog of darkness, there's always a ray of light (unless it's a black hole). The current Ontario Liberal government is the best i've seen in years.

How great are they? Prior to being initially elected, the signed a pledge (which had no legal significance) that they wouldn't raise taxes. Cue their election win and first thing they do? INTRODUCE A HEALTH TAX!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! I was probably one of the very few laughing their ass off when they did this, at the sheer joy of their testicular fortitude. Healthcare was a huge concern for everybody and everybody kept demanding increased service (and of course lower taxes). So the Liberals took the ballsy step of giving a big 'FU' (and double middle finger) to everybody and took it upon themselves to re-educate the voters, in majority of cases breaking an 80-year streak of false education.

Unfortunately, ~5 years later, their lessons seem to have fallen on deaf ears. While healthcare services have improved, and the decline in overall services has stopped directly due to the lack of tax cuts, people are still griping about the health tax itself. Opposition politicions (rhymes! sorta) see it as just another 'tax cut' that they can make and thus ensure some votes. With ~3 years left in the Liberal mandate, I can only hope that this does not become a significant issue come election time. Because if it doesn't, then hopefully the Liberals will start increasing the actual tax rates so that we may one day live like our European brethren (and I don't mean white ppl in Ontario).

The News Today

2008-08-12T21:25:00.000-04:00

1) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/09/sports/olympics/09pollution.html?hp#
Worst Olympics ever. Everybody dies 2-3 years later, ahahhaaha.

2) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080807/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_press_corps_plane
Glad someone has the balls to treat USA just like everybody else.

3) http://www.usatoday.com/printedition/news/20080808/1a_bottomstrip08_dom.art.htm
Big pharma wins again.

4) http://www.mcclatchydc.com/227/story/46637.html
Democrats should really consider themselves lucky. If this had happened later in the election season, it'd be all over. Love how the Liberal media is avoiding this like anthrax (was that too soon?)

5) http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/08/07/obama-says-reports-of-party-friction-are-media-creation/
White-bama's an expert on media creations...

6) http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-mayor0807,0,4563211.story
Cops are stupid.

7) http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_10132731
24 hours is an eternity of the land of ticket sales.

8) http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2008/08/eight-people-bo.html
Only 8 sales? People are much less stupid than I thought.

9) http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/08/08/2008-08-08_clay_aikens_a_dad_singer_pal_welcome_bab-1.html
+1 Evidence for the Gay Aiken Theory.

10) http://www.betanews.com/article/Reporters_booted_from_Black_Hat_Conference_for_hacking/1218213196
Dunno who's stupidier. Reporters for their general stupidity as an industry, or having an unsecure wi-fi access point at a hacker conference.

11) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5j-8g-0SMVRbSScyiKVhLBMgyYVAQD92G7CG82
White-bama's appealing to his own special interest groups

12) http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/08/11/navarrette.edwards/
Wow, Obama fanboy massively contradicts himself.

13) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,401321,00.html
More surprisingly well done reporting from the least-expected of sources.

14) http://blogs.nypost.com/tv/archives/2008/08/toris_new_story.html
Another brouhaha over acting rates. Media is going to decimate Tori when she realistically deserves much more than her co-stars. Makes ZERO sense to offer different rates to essentially the same people.

15) http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080811f.php
It's confirmed, retards are stupid. Who knew that black people were smart? (not me!)

16) http://www.networkworld.com/community/node/30940
Conspiracy of the century.

17) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080812/national/afghan_cda_mercenaries
And north-americans STILL want a pull out from Afghanistan? People are stupid

18) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080812/world/oly2008_china_ceremony_song_fake
People really are stupid. Every single other Olympics host has done tons of fake civic posturing. So have 99% of concert performers.

19) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080812/sports/oly_canadian_rdp
Check out our water polo score. So much fresh water and we still suck.

Movie results!

2008-08-11T19:27:00.000-04:00

Another shocking weekend. And not for the reason you thought it'd be. Or maybe it is. We shall see.

1) Pineapple Express. Prediction = $39.3 million. Results = $22.4 million.
2) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 = $18.2 million. Results = $10.8 million.

So ya, another week, another hugely off prediction... or was it? These two movies actually launched on WEDNESDAY of last week (the typical Hollywood 'lets release it early 'cause we'll make more money or something' logic). If you look at it's total gross up to today:

1) Pineapple Express. Total gross = $40.5 million.
2) Sister Act 2 = $19.7 million.

Not too shabby eh? Crystal ball(s) is still a little foggy so it gave my improper results. But for a weekend haul, the numbers are still pretty weak. Guessing the stoners were too high to make their way down to the theatres, cueing the low intake for Pineapple. For TSOTTP2, guessing girls were too busy with their own 'travelling pants' (travelled to the floor!) to check it out either.

But the real shocker (or not if your last name is Cleo) is that the #1 spot once again went to The Dark Knight with a weekend haul of $26.0 million, bringing it's total take to an awesome $441.5 million. Now on the surface it seems that maybe there's no way it can break the $600 million threshold. But again, the Imax debacle makes this a complicated scenario.

Yesterday I figured that it's been in theaters long enough that the crowd at an Imax showing for Dark Knight wouldn't be too crowded. Result? After lining up behind an army of insanely slow people (I could've switched lines half-way through and STILL get my ticket faster), the 7:00PM screening was sold out... by 6:20 PM. About 40 minutes later (possibly happened sooner but I didn't notice), the 10:00 PM screening sold out as well. So from here I can guesstimate that the Imax screenings have been more or less packed/sold out every single weekend since it's release, and will at LEAST be 'very crowded' for the next two weeks minimum. As people are quite stupid, upon receiving notice that the Imax is sold out, they'll likely be dejected and view the normal 35mm showtime (which is cleverly 30 minutes after an Imax showtime).

So though week by week Dark Knight's weekend haul has been dropping ~40% (compared to Titanic's week by week drop of ~5%), it seems like TDK will crash and burn pretty fast. But what if it's approaching a plateau? The initial buzz has died down, causing a huge drop from $100+ million intakes. But Imax screenings are still doing exceptionally well, inadvertently (or possibly connivingly advertently) keeping the 35mm intakes at a respectable level as well. If TDK can start to plateau around the $20-25 million mark, then it could very well beat Titanic's domestic record of $600 million.

As lady luck would have it, the next 'big' Hollywood Imax release is the questionable 'Fly Me To The Moon' on August 22. So the question becomes whether Imax theatres will be switching to show this guaranteed non-ticket seller, or stick with the money making Dark Knight. If theatres skip over the Fly, then the soonest next Hollywood Imax release is Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, releasing in NOVEMBER! So this could very well be another ~3 months of Dark Knight Imax! 3 months = ~12 weeks. ~12 weeks x $20 million (very optimistic plateau point) = $240 million. Verrrry interesting indeed how the next few weeks will pan out.

But ultimately my prediction will be that it just barely does NOT beat Titanic's record.

Movie prediction!

2008-08-08T20:08:00.000-04:00

The latest fad in Hollywood seems to be releasing movies on random days such as a Wednesday. These two movies were both released on the same day, thus null and voiding any point to such an early release.

1) Pineapple Express. Prediction = $39.3 million
2) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 = $18.2 million

Pineapple will do gangbusters. It's an Apatow comedy, none of which i've seen, but ppl seem to love his work. It's a stoner comedy, an ever-growing market segment. And people tend to forget things when they're high, so they'll hafta watch this movie again! Award winning formula here folks.

Sisterhood 2 will also likely be gangbusters. Chick flick based off a chick book. Zero appeal to me, but apprantly chicks are all over chick-book adaptions. Plus this film seems like a good way to cap off the summer holidays.

The dark horse of this week would be The Dark Knight. I'm thinking it could take number 1 again. If not, it'll definietly be close to it.

The News Today

2008-08-07T20:23:00.000-04:00

1) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/470879 = Small town with small excuses. They claim a case of 'mistaken identity', but the supposed identity doesn't even exist! Worst cover up ever.

2) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080801/us/usreport_usa_anthrax_dc = I stand corrected. THIS is the worst cover up ever. Government obviously coordinated the anthrax scare to push it's agenda, then they scrapegoat some poor scientist fellow.

3) http://www.reuters.com/article/vcCandidateFeed2/idUSN0142528820080801 = Reason #248 to not vote Democrat. Unions are already far out of control, don't need another one.

4) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080805/canada/consumer_greyhound_rage_ad = Why are you laughing? Whoops, there I go talking to myself again...

5) http://consumerist.com/5032890/will-the-mcd-double-cheeseburger-lose-its-cheese-or-go-off-the-dollar-menu-completely = PLEASE VOTE FOR MORE EXPENSIVE! This serves two purposes. 1) Screw over the Americans and their overly cheap fast food. 1a) They get more expensive pricing leading to lower obesity. 1b) Our prices seem philosophically 'cheaper' in comparison thus giving me another wonderful reason to get fast food. 2) A no cheese double burger will surely trickle up here sending everybody into a panic.

6) http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/472994 = People are vastly missing the core problems with this case. If a child adoption is done outside of the legal circle, yelling for more legalities is quite aimless. One more point for parent licensing and population control!

7) http://www.mercurynews.com/celebrities/ci_10116153 = I've always said that she's much smarter than she appears.

8) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080807/national/bus_beheading_peta = Proof that PETA has lost it's way.

9) http://ca.yahoo.com/ = Likely outdated by now, but Yahoo's main page has list of hot news stories. They just repeated a Paris Hilton story that was showcased a few days ago. Must be a slow news day in Yahoo-land.

10) http://drudgereport.com/flashnpb.htm = So glad. This bitch deserves to go bankrupt and die.

11) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/07/nyregion/07body.html?bl&ex=1218254400&en=13a813839a5b8c72&ei=5087%0A = Back to jail for Lil' Kim! Make sure you read the last part of the article, another stunning example of how stupid Americans are. The top photo speaks volumes.

Dilemma (I ain't talkin' 'bout Kelly Rowland)

2008-08-06T19:19:00.002-04:00

http://www.thestar.com/News/Ontario/article/466404

So a few days/weeks ago (too lazy to check) the Conservatives announced a multi-billion dollar funding deal for Ontario. This.... is.... groundbreaking. For decades Ontario has been paying out huge amounts of tax dollars to support weaker provinces within Canada. That was reasonable. What isn't reasonable is a recent series of events where so-called 'poor' provinces suddenly found themselves awash in cash, yet still received so-called 'equaliazation' payments from so-called 'have' provinces like Ontario.

So for the past few years Ontario's been fighting tooth and nail to reign back the amount of tax dollars it spews out federally. The then-ruling federal Liberals surprisingly have turned a blind eye to our plight as we've been voting for them regardless. The then-non-ruling Conservatives essentially promised to screw us more knowing full well that Ontario would never vote for them regardless.

But here we are, and my the tables have turned.

The current non-ruling Liberals are promising funding. The current-ruling Conservatives have actually manned up and PROVIDED funding, going far above and beyond what anybody would have ever expected them too.

So here we arrive at a dilemma (cue Nelly).

We love the Liberals. We need the Liberals. But no matter what we do, they only moderately love us back. Check it. The Conservatives move in right up the block. They already cater hardcore to the West. So it's like aight, we ain't gonna break up a happy home, i'ma stick with the Liberals. And now suddenly the Conservatives are all like "you don't know what you mean to me" and provide funding that previous federal Liberal governments did not. Now that's gangsta-ah-ahh, but do we have a special way of saying thank yah-ah-ahh?

So how do we go about thanking the Conservatives? A nicely worded letter and box of cookies may warm up our souls, but ultimately means nothing in the mean, cruel world of politics. The Conservatives want votes. And so far they're far more deserving to it than the Paul Martin Liberal government (albeit I do have high hopes for a Dion/May coalition government as well). This basically boils down to a masterful move by the Conservative government. For them it's a win-win, for Ontario it's a lose-lose. We have two scenarios to choose from:

1) We stick with what's best for our souls and vote Liberal. This proves the underlying point to the Liberal party that they don't need to overly cater to Ontario. Ontario continues to get screwed over while the Liberals bend over backwards for the other provinces. If the Conservatives end up winning the election however, this proves to them that Ontario is absolutely useless to them. Funding will be retracted, martial law and mandatory conscription takes full effect, and all non-Aryans are forced to work in concentration camps.

2) We join the dark side and vote Conservatives. They easily win another 4-year term and continue in their master plan to summon the Ogdru Jahad. They continue their pillaging of Canada knowing full well all they have to do is give Ontario a few bucks each election season to seal the win.

Scary isn't it? That's why you should vote Green!

Movie Results!

2008-08-05T20:26:00.000-04:00

We have a surprise number 1 this week!

2) The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (TM:TDE). My prediction = $61.8 million. Result = $40.5 million.
3) Swing Vote. Prediction = $30.7 million. Result = $6.2 million.

#1 of course goes to The Dark Knight (TDK) holding at $42.7 million. Barely beating Mummy, but still a very respectable take nonetheless. The battle to overtake Titanic's $600 million now gets very interesting at this point. TDK is still showing in a gigantic number of theatres, 4266 versus Mummy's 3760. However, TDK's weekly grosses have been dropping fast, ~40% week by week. Breaking $500 million is a guarantee at this point. $550? Doubtful. $600? We'll find out more over the next two weeks!

Mummy had a pretty respectable take. Guess I was wayyy over-eager on Brandon Fraser (<3). Utterly forgot the horrible director attached to this film. Judging from real critics' reviews, it had none of the kitsch from classic 60's adventure movies, which the Mummy 1 and 2 had in wonderful droves.

Wayyyyyyy off for Swing Vote. I hate predicting comedies, wayy too unpredictable. But I guess there's no real A-list star attached to really make people go. I forgot this isn't 1990. But considering it only had a budget of $21 million (no money to put the 'make Al Gore interesting' FX on Kevin Costner), it looks to do well over it's run. Why it wasn't released during the election month is beyond me. This goes to show that studios aren't making films for the money!

Movie Prediction!

2008-08-01T20:43:00.000-04:00

Yay August! Final month of summer, and looks like it'll end off nicely. Two movies out today:

1) The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (TM:TDE). Prediction = $61.8 million.
2) Swing Vote. Prediction = $30.7 million.

TM:TDE is the first real challenger to knocking Batman off it's totem pole. Brandan Fraser is a good box office draw. The Mummy franchise is a box office killer. Throw in some token asians and you got a pretty good action movie (on paper).

Swing Vote is a bit of an odd one. On paper it looks and feels so incredibly lame, the kind of movie nobody really wants to see but they may see it only because all the Batman Imax tickets were sold out, kind of movie. But it has a really solid cast, all of whom are decent box office draws, so it'll be interesting to see how this one in particular does.

More fascinating as of late is Batman's continuing domination of utterly destroying box office records. The big record everybody is concerned about is Titanic's domestic haul of $600+ million and whether Batman could break it. This is very interesting for a few reasons. Let's anaylze exactly why Titanic did so well.

Titanic did great because it utterly milked one key demographic: teeny boppers with money (or their parent's money) to blow. Chicks saw this movie like mad. Guys gladly took their dates to this movie 'cause it was instant booty afterwards. I personally know of a few people (all girls) that saw this movie 10+ times. If you look at the week-by-week charts for Titanic, there's a gigantic stretch where it was making ~$25 million week after week after week. Growing up I would often check the box office listings in my newspaper, and I remember being fascinated by how Titanic was *STILL* in the listings, even after 5, 10, 15, etc... weeks, and still making killer amounts!

Now let's look at Batman. One thing that it has which Titanic didn't, is Imax projection. If Titanic re-released in Imax, it would blow everything away. Batman's Imax release is a huge help in it's box office take for two reasons:
1) Imax tickets are more expensive. Depending on the area it can be a buck or two more (lucky for us in Toronto), or almost double the cost of a normal ticket.
2) Imax theatres are few and far between. Every showtime is generally sold out or extremely crowded. Thus, suckers... I mean individuals are watching the normal 35mm screening, only to end up wanting to see it again in Imax, thus getting double dipped.

So now we have an interesting scenario. For Titanic, the 10+ repeat views of chicks helped to create it's box office dominance. For Batman, the 2x repeat viewings of *EVERYBODY* is helping to create it's own box office dominance. Which cuisine will reign supreme? We may find out in September!

The News Today

2008-07-31T20:11:00.001-04:00

1) http://www.crn.com/software/209800418
We know that people are stupid. But this goes to show how astonishingly stupid they can be. Someone decides to make a blatant copy of a game that is incredibly popular, everybody uses it because it's based off a great game, copyright holders ask them to stop, dude tells them to 'chill out'. Dude thus deserves his balls cut off. Everybody goes ape shit over the blatant copyright infringement. Thus everybody deserves their balls cut off. Unfortunately this is going to be a fine example for the DRM movement on how kids nowadays have ZERO understanding of copyright.

2) http://www.newsweek.com/id/149366
No cameras? No Obama!

3) http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/0,1518,568876,00.html
Similarities between Hitler and Obama are frightening. Both were incredibly charismatic. Both had feverently idiotic followers. And both were ashamed of their heritage and sought to smite it down.

4) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080728/world/world_bush_execution
Example #3124 of Bush's sudden spike in IQ and Democrat's sudden drop. This also serves as a fine example of the banality of the modern day justice system. We have tons of people who have blatantly committed slews of heinous crimes, yet we allow them to suck on the government nipple and continue their existence on Allah's green earth. Thus countless amounts of publicly raised dollars are spent on these innane life support systems while many good-intention folks on hard times are left to fight for their own survival.

5) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080729/us/usreport_usa_crime_stevens_dc
... and oil drilling Alaska quietly continues.

6) http://voanews.com/english/Africa/Zimbabwe/2008-07-29-voa62.cfm
Africans in particular are stupid as well. Whereas I thoguht only African-Americans were stupid for following a dark skinned white person, seems that their stupidity stems from their ancestors over in native Africa. A guy who's been a powerful dictator for decades is suddenly outvoted by a weak politician. Weak politician wants former dictator to have a position that technically gives no power to the loser. Do you think the former dictator will accept such a slot? No? Congratulations, you're smarter than a 5th grader!... I mean an African.

7) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/080730/n_entertain_reuters/entertainment_olympics_col
Holla! China's right. A reporter is given an assignment, they need to stick to it. Any reporters unable to do so should be exported for espionage.

8)
http://tech.msn.com/products/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=8769870&imageindex=3
Wow, gaming critics are STILL panning Nintendo for not catering to the hardcore gaming crowd. Let's see.... Nintendo is #1. Microsoft/Sony distant #2's/3's. Hmm.... I wonder if Nintendo's strategy is working...

9) http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080729j.php
Originally I thoguht this was J.Lo, but apparently it's Obama-style half-black Alicia Keys. She lent Obama her pigment for the election.

10) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5g2LVaLShumcn9MZJrHLDVPf_bGOwD928749G5
Wow.... dare I say this... people are SMART!!! Finally somebody gets the balls to standup to the fast food corporations and say 'hell naw!'. I give them a standing ovation. However such a decision is not without it's pitfalls. There's a huge danger in having a city with minimal amounts of fast food style restaurants. People naturally want cheap food, and they WILL get it one way or another. Healthy fast food is one of the most expensive things out there. Supermarkets are great, but they tend to be in distant locations compared to fast food restaurants. Dangerous pitfalls include a huge spike in vehicular transportation (and it's related evils) due to increased distance to a fast food restaurant, higher overall food costs due to natural rise in demand, and food shortages at current supermarkets also due to higher demand. Akon told me this is dangerous.

11)
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/07/30/2008-07-30_depressed_during_holidays_clark_rockefel.html
Time for the men's rights movement to begin! Chicks have been sliently milking us (in a bad way) for way too long.

12)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/specials/chandra/ch10_1.html
Fascinating article. The Chandra Levy case was insanely interesting. Condit blatantly pulled an OJ, and much like the Juice, the Freak got away with it. Let the conspiracy theories about Condit's involvement in 9/11 begin.

13)
http://english.aljazeera.net/focus/imperium/2008/07/200872734710618668.html
I'm defineitly ramping up my anti-Obama machine again. Obama's hometown newspaper chimes in with it's own 2-cents.

Financial Management Needs a Rethink

2008-07-30T20:00:00.000-04:00

In lieu of the housing crisis happening down in the States, people are pointing back to the falsehood of subprime mortgages and further back to people's lack of financial management skills. As a lesson learned, people are preaching for mandatory financial management classes for children in school.

Once again they are totally missing the point.

To be loquacious, that's like saying the city you live in has a cat infestation. So to cope with that problem, they developed GMed plant life full of delicious toxins. Bugs eat the plants thus getting infected. Birds eat the bugs, and then the cats eat the birds. So thus the cats die, but unfortunately so does basically everything else in the world as collateral damage.

While yes, the concept of financial management in school is good, there's much more simpler, much more critical things that can happen. One of which? Tell parents to stop fucking kicking their kids out of their homes.

It's understandable the whole 'go out and be independent' thing and it's theoretical importance on adulthood development. But at the same time, that's probably the one single instance where financial management skills utterly disappear. Majority of young adults are told to get their own place upon graduation from post-secondary education. What does this mean? They're saddled with a $20,000+ debt, and told to go find housing. Likelyhood of them getting a mortage? Same chance that Obama's black = 0%. So what do these saddled souls do? They rent. And by renting, they get trapped into a deadly spiral of interest payments, rent payments, meals, etc... which leaves very little (if any at all) to go into actual savings for a better future.

Now imagine a society where parents were accepting their adult children back into their household with wide open arm fat arms. The child can live nearly expense free, be saving up extreme amounts of hard-earned cash, and be paying down their student debts in no time.

How much better off is either person?

There's another big misconception in the world of financial management. The golden retirement rule of needing one million dollars for a comfortable retirement. Yeah that sounds nice, looks nice on paper, but there's one huge problem with it. Still to this day I still see so-called 'financial management experts' touting this rule. So what's wrong? This year is 2008. When did I first hear of this rule? Somewhere around the late 90's, let's say 1998. So ten years have passed. Maybe not a whole lot has changed, still no flying cars, government still lying about Roswell, but there's one tinyyyyyy little detail that people forget as they age. Our gay uncle: inflation. To avoid complicated mathematics, i'll use a vending machine chocolate bar as a simplified example.

Back in 1998, a vending machine sold a chocolate bar for $1. Now in 2008, it's $1.25 (sometimes higher). So non-technically, the chocolate bar costs 25% more. Now if you were following the 'one million dollar' retirement rule while saving from 1998 to present day, your retirement is going to be roughly 25% shittier than you thought it would be. That's a big difference. That's like living in Hawaii for 9 months and then being in the Bronx for 3.

Financial management is not a simple topic, so to apply flat numbers as goals is simply asking for future trouble. Also, creating endless cycles of debts and payments goes directly against the notion of saving for the future and foreign concepts such as retirement. People need to see that financial management really starts at home and in the lives that we live in the present day. Ignoring that fact dooms us to a future in the Bronx.

The News Today

2008-07-29T21:39:00.000-04:00

1) http://news.cnet.com/8301-13579_3-9998577-37.html
This guy is a gigantic supporter of anything Apple and writes often for a gigantic media audience through various publications. So it's quite a statement to see him pan Apple's MobileMe service. Downfall of Apple begins now. Hope the stock price rises so I can unload and get Microsoft.

2) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iaKPOdTQnHVB4WqdVRWYKXDQIwdwD9270VEG0
Downfall of Google begins now. One of Cuil's founders long time ago created a searching method that Google bought out.

3) http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/22/what-is-the-most-racist-city-in-america/#comments
Show some Toronto love y'all.

4) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080723/science/science_soy_spermstudy
Another reason why women should sleep with me.

5) http://www.mlive.com/newsflash/international/index.ssf?/base/international-29/121699194350330.xml&storylist=international&thispage=2
In lieu of USA's media incredible media bias on Obama (there goes my 'no-Bama' talk streak), it's heartwarming to see the Chinese media fight for fair and balanced reporting.

6) http://news.cnet.com/8301-13526_3-9999388-27.html
One flop wasn't enough for Microsoft, they're looking to outdo themselves! (In terms of 'floppy'-ness, hahaha)

7) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/24/health/24tobacco.html?em&ex=1217044800&en=89d0f28d41f286f6&ei=5087%0A
Aaaaaaaaand guess who indirectly gets alot of anti-smoking money... smoking companies!

8)
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/24/prominent-cancer-doctor-warns-about-cellphones/
One way or another, this guy is dead within a year.

9)
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080725122409.2lc0wu5y&show_article=1&image=large
Yao 'Motha-Fuckin' Ming giving props to the homeland.

10) http://www.worldpoliticsreview.com/article.aspx?id=2463
What's the big deal that Obama's from Kenya? I got tons of Nigerian relatives.

11) http://www.maltron.com/maltron-advantage-single.html
Right hand layout, 3rd row. What do you see?

12) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080728/national/afghan_cda_children
Unfortunately the father didn't die as well. Seriously. All the hoopla over this simply shows how stupid people are on both sides of the Pacific ocean. Big army truck with machine guns, let's drive towards it, then when we'll get close we will *SPEED UP*!!!! Oh, they're yelling at us in a foreign language? I think i'll drive EVEN FASTER so I can get closer and possibly communicate using hand gestures. WTF?!? Why are they shooting at us? Case #059287 for the 'People are Stupid' folder.

13) http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1006139.html
Jews especially may be the stupidiest of them all. They just got amazingly bamboozled by the master deceiver Obama himself. He uses a Holy Site for a blatantly political gain, has his prayer note 'leaked' to the media, and scores himself an ungodly amount of religious-group votes in USA. God truly knows one thing: how much gold he gave all the Jews to turn a blind eye.

Box Office results

2008-07-28T20:15:00.000-04:00

1) Step Brothers. I predicted $66.2 million. Results = $30 million
2) The X-Files: I Want to Believe. I predicted $28.4 million. Results = $10.2 million.

Top spot actually went to The Dark Knight with $75.6 million. And it still likely still stay up there with me intending to see it in Imax over the next few days or so.

Step Brothers had a wee bit disappointing return. Don't think it compares too well to Farrell's other movies, so the blame may be put onto Reilly's lack of being a box office draw. Look for it to disappear pretty quickly.

X-Files is a bit of a surprise. Has a decent fan base, but more importantly that fan base has money to spend (or their parent's money to spend). Flop on the grandest of scales, this will unfortunately be a dark blemish on Duchovny's and Anderson's otherwise highly successful post X-Files careers.

Movie Prediction!

2008-07-25T20:15:00.000-04:00

Hot on the heels of my stunning accuracy in Batman's under-whelming box office take comes these sizzling future-visions:

1) Step Brothers: $66.2 million
2) The X-Files: I Want to Believe: $28.4 million.

Step Brothers is guaranteed to go gangbusters on the box office. Will Farrell has been quite the box office draw despite his questionable taste in movies. On the flip side John C. Reilly has been a bit of a flop despite his fantastic acting talent. Any success will be attributed to Farrell's star attraction.

X-Files will almost definietly be a flop. Cult shows turned into cult movies usually don't do cult box office takes. The hardcore X-Files fans won't want to see it knowing that it must be dumbed down for a generation that has no idea what X-Files is. Casual movie goers won't see it because it looks too much like an obscure cult television show they never watched. It'll get a mediocre take this weekend, but disappear off the charts by next week.

Be prepared for Batman to take the number #1 spot again...

The News Today

2008-07-23T19:21:00.001-04:00

Collection of random news stories over the past few weeks (all Today in Allah's eyes)

1) http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2325772,00.asp
Very un-Apple-like launch of their new MobileMe service. Some users have been without e-mail access for four days!! Coupled with the lengthy activation process for the 3G iPhone (up to 45 minutes), and the lack of a clear distinction between the old vs. new iPhone, perhaps we are on the cusp of the downfall of Apple.

2) http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/article/462735
Of all people, he has the best police mugshot ever

3) http://www.suntimes.com/news/douglas/1062377,CST-EDT-douglas18.article
Holla

4) http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20213900,00.html
This clearly explains the crap fist fighting scenes in The Dark Knight. If he fighted good, that could clearly be used as evidence. A pansy who fights like Batman couldn't possibly have lived up to the allegations.

5) http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080722/entertainment/savage_autism
Quote of the day: "I'll tell you, I wish I had a brat." Somebody REALLY hates their kid.

6) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/18/us/politics/18gorecnd.html?em&ex=1216440000&en=7435327e3529ad72&ei=5087%0A
Al Gore just lost all credibility. If anything, oil industry going to kill him in 10 years.

7) http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/07/14/obama-camp-slams-satirical-new-yorker-magazine-cover/
BREAKING NEWS!!! The Obama family threw a Halloween party in October 2007. They had a painter on-site to draw people's costumes as they came in. The painting for Obama's costume got leaked to the media. Check it out for the truth!!

8) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5i23gT19o6C2I8dWDUfq6V5lES61QD91PM79G1
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! x 2

Neighbourhood Ghettofication?

2008-07-22T20:57:00.000-04:00

I've lived in my current neighbourhood for somewhere around 10 years now. Looking back on those 10 years, it's very surprising how much is still the same. Plazas are the same, only around 10-20% of the stores inside have changed. Zero new buildings. Light amount of housing reconstruction, but that's about it. What I have noticed recently though is signs of possible early ghettofication.

Bums and homeless people are typically in the downtown area as that's the most profitable spot for panhandling. You may see a smattering elsewhere in Toronto, but they're mainly located in high income / high volume intersections. A few years ago I saw the first bum in my neighbourhood. He definietly must've been lost. Sat in a low foot-traffic area, zero change in his blanket, definietly not an efficient use of time. I guess this bum must've been the first sign my neighbourhood was becoming a ghetto.

Recently a significant signal arose which got me thinking. A nearby shopping mall contains a Loblaws. Loblaws is a supermarket chain that sort of caters to the middle class folk. Decent stores, moderately clean, nicely dressed staff. Very ho-hum, status quo kind of grocery shopping. It recently closed down. To be replaced by a No Frills (opening soon!). If Loblaws catered to middle-class, No Frills DEFINIETLY caters to the lower class. The stores are pretty grimy, staff sometimes wear a uniform, the shipping boxes/containers are put on the shelves to be grabbed at by customers, very 'no frills' indeed. Definietly not a store that bodes well for a neighbourhood. Case in point, there's a No Frills near a high-crime, drug ridden intersection in downtown Toronto.

Is that what my neighbourhood will soon become? Bums are one thing, but a supermarket is a key hub within a neighbourhood. If there's one spot you can bet everybody in the area goes to, it'll naturally be the supermarket 'cause niggaz gotta eat (i'm turning ghetto already!). So instead of going to a nicely presented Loblaws for a shopping experience, people will instead be forced to go to a grimy No Frills and wade through shipping containers for their groceries. So all the anger and dismay at the newly disgusting grocery store will be brought back into people's homes, where they will inevitably turn to drugs. Houses and apartments will become crack dens and police stations will sprout up on every street corner like weeds.

Or maybe perhaps this will be a high-class No Frills? 'No frill' shopping for the high-class consumer! A boy can dream...

Box office results

2008-07-21T21:36:00.000-04:00

SPOILER WARNINGS!!!

Absolutely stunning weekend. Very predictable, but stunning none the less.

1) The Dark Knight. I predicted $89.5 million. Box office = $155.3 million.
2) Mamma Mia!. I predicted $35.2 million. Box office = $27.6 million.
3) Space Chimps. I predicted $17.9 million. Box offce = $7.4 million.

My crystal ball's LCD screen is a bit broken, it has a flashing decimal point for the Space Chimps prediction so I read it incorrectly. Space Chimps did very well regardless. It's a kids movie, studios pump them out like candy.

Mamma Mia I think still came out pretty strong. Very risky move to come out beside The Dark Knight and it paid off reasonably well. It should make a decent amount during it's run, DVDs will sell well too.

No surprise from the gigantic bounty the Dark Knight dragged in. Unlike other movie releases, this was playing in almost every single local theatre. But the main thing that definietly helped break all box office records was the marketing campaign. Hands down this had the absolutely best marketing campaign I have EVER seen. It had fantastic viral marketing, traditional medium marketing, and a dead actor it milked beyond recognition. Let's examine these shall we?

1) Dead actor. An actor dying during production sucks balls. A talented actor dying during production? Even worse. A dead actor can't help promote the movie.... or can they? Evidently they definietly can, possibly even moreso than if they were alive. Prediction: actors dying during production will become in-style. Warner Brothers very slickly dodged any comment on Heath Ledger's death, so as to appear to not to take advantage of it. Concurrently, it began screening short footage to industry insiders to create buzz on his performance of the Joker. Word-of-mouth buzz spread like chlamydia and soon everybody was itching to see the movie.

2) The traditional mediums of advertising (posters and trailers) were incredibly well made and set the tone nicely. They were a bit mis-leading as to the actual content of the movie, but they served well in setting the emotional tone, which is far more important.

3) The real gem of the marketing campaign was it's online component and related mediums. The 'Why So Serious' campaign was a fantastic introduction into the insanity of the Joker character. The beauty of a comic book movie is that an entirely rich and developed world is already created and ready to be taken advantage of. Thus it's utterly shocking that nobody has done it so far as to the extent that WB takes advantage of DC's mythical Gotham City. Let me give you an example of the synergy that they used.
Back in Fall 2007, I attended an Imax preview screening for the Dark Knight. Afterwards I got probably the best marketing advertisement ever. T-shirt? Nope, even better than that! It was a newspaper 'directly' from Gotham City. How fucking genius is that? You'd think the Spiderman movies or fucking Superman would've done that, but nope, it was fucking Batman who doesn't even work for a newspaper company. What's even better is that the newspaper was 'seemingly' printed during the timeframe depicted in the movie. So it had alot of 'articles' about the chaos, an article on Harvey Dent, article on Wayne Industries, etc..., FUCKING GENIUS!! The affiliated websites take it a step further. By surfing around the sites, they had the standard viral thing going on: fake numbers to call, 'company websites' to discover, etc.. etc..., but like everything else, they jacked it to the next level. They brought it all back to the real-world, so visiting certain addresses would yield rewards like a gift from the Joker, or attendence to advanced screenings. One notable event was a small screening held where the location was gleaned through the normal viral clues. But the kicker was that one person would go home with the ACTUAL FILM PRINT of what was screened (just a few scenes/trailer). So what does a true fanboy do? He starts going through the film frame-by-frame. And here's where it got really crazy. The Joker had 'vandalized' the film print, so EVERY SINGLE FILM FRAME was doodled on by 'The Joker', absolutely insane in the drawings, but again ties back perfectly to the world of Gotham City.
This is only one example of the dozen or so geniusly-laid out plans created by the marketing gurus at Warner Brothers. Screw an Oscar for Heath Ledger, WB deserves to take any advertising adward categories that it fits into.

What'll be really interesting now is whether it can break the record of worldwide gross set by Titanic. I'm thinking fo' sho'. Unlike Titanic, I'll be seeing TDK again but this time in Imax. They should re-release Titanic in Imax.

Movie prediction!

2008-07-18T19:12:00.000-04:00

This weekend's gonna put the 'ER' in blockbustER. Check it out:

1) The Dark Knight. I'm not sure what to put here. I was thinking somewhere around $100 million, but the chatter and blabber surrounding it, esp. the overrated Joker, is key. Also take into the fact the insane amount of sold out screenings and potential revenue from Imax. I doubt it'll break the Spider-Man 3 record of $151 million. I'm gonna guess-timate around $89.5 million. Every guy will be seeing this. Girls? Questionable...
2) Mammia Mia!. Fare for all the chicks flocking away from the testosterone filled Batman. I'm sure this will do quite well as well. $35.2 million.
3) Space Chimps. Another CG kids movie. They're popping these out like popcorn these days. Fare for the rest of us. $17.9 million.

The Dark Knight's Rusty

2008-07-17T19:45:00.001-04:00

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!

So Allah blessed me and gave me the opportunity to attend an advanced screening for The Dark Knight (a.k.a. Batman 2: The Sequel) last night. All in all, it's an alright film. You've heard months of crazy buzz beforehand, and now you'll be subject to a few weeks more until it dies down... until Oscar season arrives.

I will proudly say that I thought the first one was only 'good', not 'excellent' as many others believe to think. Yes, compared to the abomination known as Batman & Robin it was incredible, but on it's own it was simply mediocre. But the action choreography was wooden, an out of place ending, and a Batman voice that sounded like a lesbian. Unfortunately, it's more of the same in the sequel. For those who enjoyed the first one, they will without a doubt absolutely enjoy the second and throw around words like "Oscar-worthy" as if they were spare change.

The action choreography is improved over the original, but still has very block moments. The fist fights are mostly horrible, with the bad guys doing the 1990's 'let's line up and fight one by one' routine, and Batman fighting as if he was an 8-bit character from a Nintendo game. Insert 'punch animation' here, proceed to 'kick animation', now do 'throw animation'. The brakes in each action are jarringly horribad. Luckily the ingenuity of Christopher Nolan allows for some stunning action scenes. I'll leave it at that.

The last 20 minutes or so of the movie are also pretty poorly done. There's brief moments of pure genius, but they get bogged down by the dreck surrounding them. Much like how the original movie had a 'rushed' ending, TDK feels like a rushed ending as well, coupled with the fact that they couldn't do any reshootings of a certain character...

A key stickler for the original was the horribad lesbian-impersonation of Batman's voice. Many people think it was slightly improved in TDK. I think not. In TDK, Batman sounds like a 50 year old chain-smoking drag queen. Check this picture: http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/thetraciest/C62-10-WhitT-B-01edit.jpg, now imagine him (her?) talking, and that's what Batman sounds like. Where I can understand the argument that the voice itself is improved, the problem lies in that the Batman character has alot of dialogue in this movie, and alot of it delivering key information or during critical moments. To get caught up in the emotional turmoil of a hero vs. a vigilante, and then to here a drag queen whisper in your ear is a hard crash back to the reality that you're in a movie theatre, not in Gotham City.

Admist all these problems, there are many things that are vastly improved. The dramatic aspect of the film is absolutely stunning. The characters are for the most part incredibly development and have brilliant chemistry amongst one another. The concurrent storylines and plot twists are executed with spot-on accuracy and depth. And leaves a brilliant smoky aftertaste.

The casting of Maggie Gyllenhaal was a coup. Fantastic actress, so it's no surprise that she delivers the goods here. Her ability to hold her own with an all-male cast makes feminists (lesbians) everywhere very proud.

Aaron Eckhart is also equally brilliant in his role as Harvey Dent. Also a fantastic actor, he hasn't really been given the best of roles as of late. Admist all the hoopla over Ledger's Joker, I secretly hoped that Eckhart's characterization of Dent would blow it away. On the Dent side of things, Eckhart surpasses all expectations. That part of his role alone will open the doors to future humous Oscar nominations (as opposed to post-humous). Unfortunately the Two-Face character feels like an afterthought. If Nolan was trying to get away from the campiness of Batman & Robin, he brought it all back with Two-Face's makeup job. The deformed part of his face feels like a mix between 1990 CG and Terminator's Terminators. It looks out of place, and much like the wooden action choreography, the deformed eyeball feels wooden as well, lagging a tiny bit behind the 'normal' eye, and their eyelines often don't match up. The script begins to tumble once Two-Face is created which is a dire shame as up to that point it had alot of dramatic potential.

With the exception of Heath Ledger, all of the other guys (whities and the lone blackie) meet expectations, which is to be fantastic and they are.

Heath Ledger is my main stickling point about the movie. There's been hoopla for decades that his performance was incredible and surebet to take home an Oscar, let-alone only the nomination. The biggest problem with that statement is that up to this point, there's been no real Oscar-worthy films (othe than the obligatory summer catagory known as Visual Effects). Every year prior, there's been a smattering of films worthy of that adjective (though they usually get killed by year end), but this year has oddily been the driest spell in years. So that makes critics and fangirls like in a dire need of saying that magic O-word (ORGASM!). I do agree, the first *real* opportunity in a long time is Heath Ledger's Joker. But that's not to say it was a perfect performance. He does beautifully fit in to the world that Nolan has created, and then he takes it a quantum leap further into the darkness and psychosis that is the Joker (which definietly ended up killing him). However, I think that leap was a tad too far. Ledger's Joker eats up all the scenery and attention of the camera to the point of being a bit over the top. Is this called 'The Dark Knight' or 'The Purple Clown'? The Joker overshadow's Bale's Batman in every single scene which leaves an uncomfortable feeling (in a bad way). Even for a psychotic killer, he's overly nuanced and Nolan spends far too much time on each and every tick that Ledger delivers. In lieu of this, the Joker is an amazing character portrayal... up until the ending. Here, the Joker turns into a normal 32-bit villain and has a lackluster finale that could've been cleaned up greatly had the actor portraying him read the instructional manual on his pill bottles.

Heath Ledger definietly is worth of the term 'fantastic' to describe his portrayal of the Joker. But to call it a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination is a bit of a stretch. There's alot of definitively Oscar-worthy films coming out later this year (as per usual). Certain parts of his role would've been a guaranteed lock on the Oscar, but as a whole, unlikely even for a nomination. Looking at previous Winners/nominees, they're portrayal was spot-on from beginning to end which unfortunately Ledger was not. But who knows, Warner Brothers could play the pity card come Oscar season and he could get a landslide win. Crazier things have happened (Bjork @ Oscar's in 2001).

Death of Google

2008-07-16T20:12:00.000-04:00

http://dotnet.sys-con.com/read/603827.htm

So a few days (or weeks?) ago I elegantly posted on the return of the Microsoft juggernaut. Today I present to you the reasons behind Google's eventual downfall if no changes take place.

Let's re-re-rewind to late 1999. It's a fantastic time. Companies are brimming with creativity and inventing a slew of weird and wonderful technologies to make all of our lives much easier. Investors notice and start throwing their money into anything and everything that could very well be the 'next big thing'. As every single idea is great, everybody's value increases, people make millions, everybody's happy! But wait a minute, what about the business side of things? An idea is nothing without a solid plan to market it, sell it, and turn it into something profitable. Oops, seems like everybody forgot about basic business and economic groundrules. So in 2000, everybody crashed down to earth. Majority of people ended up living back like it was 1995 while a few were worse off, possibly even bankrupt due to their lack of judgement.

Fast forward to 2008. We have this fantastic company known as Google. It's brimming with creativity and inventing (or buying out) a slew of weird and wonderful technologies to make all of our lives much easier. Investors notice and start throwing their money into anything and everything that they create (or buy out). It's a wonderful world for an upstart. But wait, Google ain't no upstart, it's almost 10 years old. Know who else is 10 years old? DaimlerChrysler. Now when you think of DaimlerChrysler, what do you see? I see a company full of old, intelligent, gentle, well-mannered men making very high quality but humble cars. They have a long term vision of what they do and stick to a plan.

What about Google? Do you see an army of youthful employees, enjoying the free cafeteria on the ground floor, playing rounds of Halo 3 during work hours, and going for the odd free massage every day or so? Does that sound like an upstart dot-com or a mature well-established company?

And herein lie's Google's dilemma. It's been forever stuck in the upstart dot-com mode for so long that it's effects are clearly apparent in the products that it puts out. Few examples:
#1 = Google News search engine. Sure you can use programming code to fully customize it, but does the majority of the population know even what a 'dir' DOS command is? I want to simply organize a series of news articles by date, newest to oldest, no simple way of doing so.
#2 = Google's Blogger. For basic text entries like all of mine, Blogger's quite fantastic. But it doesn't have a spell checker (so 2006). Google also provides services such as AdSense and YouTube, so you think they'd all be tightly integrated right? Wrong. The process to include AdSense SHOULD be a one-click operation, but instead I had to *READ PARAGRAPHS* of text (when was the last time you did that... other than just now?) to set it up. In terms of YouTube...
#3 = YouTube. For goodness sake, when are they going to have a feature where I can upload my webcam feed directly to YouTube to streamline vlog workflows? I want to start vlogging, but to store the video on my HD is too much work for me (yes i'm lazy).

Google is growing exponentially, releasing great new products on a day-to-day basis. This makes for an overly bloated company that cannot contain itself. Technical support is horribad. Usage of advanced features requires a PH.D (Google programmers need to dumb themselves down to our level). All of this does not bode very well for a powerful company like Google. Much like Microsoft's downfall that took place in early 2000's, I think we're long overdue for the same correction to take place in Google.

Plus then I can buy Google stock at a rediculously low price.

Watch Wanted

2008-07-15T19:02:00.000-04:00

OPRAH SIZED SPOILER WARNING!!!

Nutshell: I saw Wanted last night, and it's one of the best movies this summer.

Full explanation: It's better than Wall-E. I can very easily and confidently (rare occurance) state that as of July 14, 2008, it is the best movie this summer so far. Likely The Dark Knight is going to be better than Wanted though. However, I can accutely state that if you're going to see one movie this summer, make sure it is Wanted. Why? Because you're inevitably going to be seeing Wall-E, The Dark Knight, or Iron Man on DVD when they're released. Wanted? There's no explicit reason to see it other than word of mouth. There's no A-list hollywood diector, there's no gigantic action movie star. If anything it feels like an indie action movie, which on paper doesn't sound too good.

But oh my god is it good.

I've been a fan of the director, Timur Bekmambetov (pronounced Vod-ka), for quite some time. Quite some time as in his two movies prior. He's from Russia and over there he created the movies Night Watch and it's sequel Day Watch. Night Watch is the highest grossing movie in Russia's history, surpassing even the shit-loaded movie known as Lord of the Rings. Serving as both writer and director, Night/Day Watch are fucking fantastic movies. Non-stop crazy intense action, great characters, and a surprisingly good plot. I also highly recommend watching these movies. Make sure you watch the official subtitled versions though. Anything else and you'll highly regret it, hint hint.

So in lieu of the greatness of TB's previous movies, I had pretty high expectations for Wanted, though I was a bit scared at the same time. I mean it's great to take a great foreign director, give him gobs of money and tell him to make a Hollywood movie, so they can show their greatness to our virgin eyes. But as of late such tactics haven't panned out so well. Wong Kar Wai anybody? What about Del Toro? Both are foreign directors who really should be sticking to their native language. But alas, I think I have found the secret code to a foreign director's success in Hollywood...

DON'T WRITE THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exhibit A: My Blueberry Nights by Wong Kar Wai. Kar Wai's a fantastic director and in his native Asia-land he's also a fantastic writer. So when he wrote and directed this Hollywood-flick, it should come as no surprise that all the characters are talking like immigrants.
Exhibit B: Hellboy I/II by Guillermo Del Toro. Again, another fantastic writer/director from his native Taco-land, who brought us masterpieces such as Pan's Labyrinth. However the writing in his Hollywood flicks have a tinge of awkwardness to them that leaves a sour flavor at best at the end of watching his movies.

For Wanted what did TB do? He very well could've wrote a script, but instead he took a script by people who KNEW the native-language and just directed the hell out of it. Giving us the masterpiece known as Wanted. Having seen Night/Day Watch, it's incredible how you can actually see a director *improve* upon himself given the right circumstances. All TB needed was a real budget (no Russian rubles here). It has alot of the classic stylism's he's developped within the 'Watch' franchise, and put it on steroids for a Western audience. Great script, great acting, great production design, everything about this movie is great great great. Ya, I do recall while I was watching thinking "that's dumb", but it was such a fleeting moment and immediately dispersed by the next moment of awesomeness. For other movies, a single bad moment can ruin the entire film (cough Wall-E ending cough). But Wanted starts strong and just keeps getting better so any bad moments are immdiately forgiven and forgotten. Enjoy action choreography? This single-handedly has one of the best action scenes I've ever seen, if not *THE* best.

Again, I can't praise this movie enough. After leaving the theatre it left me so incredibly energized and with an adrenaline rush that I was up all night because I couldn't sleep with so much energy pulsing through my veins. When was the last time a movie had that effect on you? What, never? Then go see Wanted. TB is inevitably going to be a household name over his next few films. Catch his early stuff in theatres while you still can.